Kiran's POV from his Hunting Lodge



The Cabin Scene
From Kiran’s POV

                He broke up with her.
                He broke up with her.
                My mind was still reeling with that tidbit of new information. I didn’t quite know how to process it or how to move on.
                Obviously, I wasn’t ready to take her back to the castle- not when I was so close to convincing her she still had feelings for me.
                I glanced over at her, beauty personified in my passenger’s seat. Lovely, reckless and exquisite, I could go on and on. Adjectives never ended for me when it came to her. I’d made up some bullshit about not being able to go back, something about perpetuating my lies. But in reality I was gambling with time and her vulnerability. Did that make me a right bastard? Of course. But I’d been making mistakes with Eden since the day I met her and I wasn’t about to change that now.
                Not when I was so close to having her again, to helping her remember her feelings for me.
                Help her remember she was mine.
                Back at the Citadel, there had been such raw, suffocating moments of unspoken truth between us that I thought for sure she would come back to me. I’d been as patient as I was capable of. I’d given her everything that I could, given up everything that I could- save for my own life.
                And that still wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities I was willing to sacrifice for her. There just hadn’t been an opportunity thus far.
                She needed me alive to protect her, to save her from herself as well as my father.
                If only she would be honest with herself, give in to the truth that was in her heart. But this was Eden, my Eden. Stunning, loyal, sacrificial Eden who was about as stubborn and oblivious as anyone had ever been.
                She wasn’t going to give up her fight easily.
                Not against my father.  
                And not against me.
                And I loved her all the more for it.
                I parked the car in front of my lodge and shut off the engine. This home was mine alone. A gift for my thirteenth birthday- which might seem strange, since I was so young. But my father believed in bestowing responsibility early in his attempt to make me a suitable king and that included freedom. I’d always been given both a large amount of independence at the same time I was suffocated and imprisoned by responsibility and expectation. I used to let that frustrating dichotomy rule my life, but recently I’d shaken those chains off. I’d shed the handcuffs of my father’s tyranny and found the way to true freedom.
                Joining the Resistance hadn’t just been for Eden, although the majority of my decision stemmed from a desperation to prove myself to her. I had also wanted to verify to myself that I was a worthy man; not just for Eden, but to rule this Kingdom one day, to protect and honor my people. I wanted to be the man they deserved, the king they’ve waited an eternity for.
                And underneath all of that, I wanted to be the man for Eden- the one she acknowledged as lover, husband, soul-mate.
                And thanks to Jericho’s wise, although unexpected, breakup; I was one step closer to that ultimate completion.
                I still couldn’t believe Jericho gave her up. I had never thought much of him. First, I underestimated him as competition and then, resented him for keeping Eden away from me. I was working on change, but some things were harder to shake than others- like the belief bred into me since birth that I was inherently better than every other Immortal. And while I’d been long past looking down at the rest of my species with prejudice, it wasn’t so easy to give Jericho the same grace.
                While we fought on the same side these days, we were still in competition to the one thing that mattered to me above anything else- Eden’s heart.
                Through all that though I had to respect a man that realized when he could no longer compete. He’d never really had a chance with Eden; mostly he filled in the space between when she and I were together, and when we’d be together again.
                Or that was easy to convince myself of now that he was no longer in the picture.
                I hopped out of my favorite Lamborghini Reventon before Eden could spot the grin giving away my anticipation.
She had taken me to the end of my patience over the last week. Besides her testy attitude and bullish behavior, she’d been kidnapped by that unforgiving asshole, Terletov- he would be wishing she’d killed him off in no time after I was finished with him. I’d never been more afraid for Eden- never.
And that was saying a lot considering the short time I’d known her and all we had been through.
A ripple of fear for what I almost lost rushed through my body like a riptide of white water. I followed Eden up the steps to the front door and stopped myself short of pulling her into my arms, just to reassure my own heart she was still here, still alive.
She was staring at the door- a door I’d hand carved out of sheer boredom one summer. This place used to be my one true escape from my father’s bourgeoning lunacy. I hadn’t recognized it as that as a younger man, just a desperation to flee the suffocating monarchy and expectations of the Kingdom. Looking back on my childhood, I could clearly recognize my father’s slow slide into madness.
A hundred considerations and emotions swirled through me as I was assaulted by these thoughts and one thing kept me anchored to sanity, to my purpose. And she was standing directly in front of me.
I let my fingers drift through the wavy ends of Eden’s wild hair, loving the silky feel on my skin. I leaned in, inhaling her, drinking in her scent and let my magic seek out hers.
I was losing everything- my father, my Kingdom, my future. She would take it all away from me. And I would let her.
Such were the depths of my love for her. I would let her destroy me; kill me if she needed to. And I would do it happily, just to spend my last moments in her presence.
“I made that myself,” I boasted shamelessly. This was my campaign to win her back; I needed an entire arsenal of charming to convince her.
“Huh,” she let out in an unattractive grunt. She was trying not to be impressed, but her graceful fingers lingered on the details and I couldn’t stop my proud smirk.
I opened the door for her, anxious to have her in my home. She truly was a prisoner at the Citadel and it wasn’t my home to claim anyway. But here, this was mine. And she was a guest, here by her own free will- or the most of her will she was allowed to have.
Relief washed over me with a power I’d never felt before. Eden and I were alone. She was officially single. And she was in my very personal space.
No matter how tightly the tension had coiled over the last few weeks, she was safe here. Safe with me.
If only I could convince her of that.
I walked over to the couch and tried to see the room from Eden’s perspective. My gaze immediately fell back on her as she still stood in the entry way- I would always find her, always be drawn with every part of me to wherever she was. I watched her as she took in the hunting lodge. Her black eyes glittered with approval and bloody hell that settled proudly in my chest.
I chuckled silently with utter amusement as her eyes drifted over my trophy wall of kills. I was an avid hunter, loving the chase, loving the game. Was it no wonder I had fallen irreversibly in love with this elusive creature. She was my greatest hunt yet, my greatest challenge.
And damn it if I didn’t love her all the more for it.
She was nervous around the dead animals. I could admit they weren’t the most tasteful way to decorative a room, but I was proud of them. And it was entertaining how terrified Eden could be at times. She was fearless, powerful and stronger than any person I’d ever met.
And the lifeless head of a buck petrified her.
Would she ever remember the dangerous predator she was born to be?
Outside of threatening to kill me, that is.
“They won’t bite,” I teased, loving the way her entire aura reacted to my words. She desperately tried to play off our attraction to each other, but her tell was in her magic, in the way she flared to life whenever I was near, in the luscious blush of her cheeks.
“So you say,” she drawled, her eyes never leaving the animals I’d felled. A tremor racked her body and she asked with obvious nerves, “They’re not all from Romania are they?”
                My smirk deepened, “Obviously not.” And because I couldn’t resist, “Only the big ones.”
                She whipped around, catching me laughing at her. I should have felt shame- but I didn’t. She was so alluring worked up. And maybe I was a bit of a prick, but I only fell more in love with her.
                She looked terribly put out so I had to ask, “Is this the Nebraska wilderness all over again? Almighty Eden, not afraid of death, but terrified of an animal bite?” Memories of that weekend, of when we’d truly bonded for the first time flashed inside my head. I’d taken for granted how easy our relationship had been back then- which almost seemed ridiculous, since I’d been engaged and she’d not wanted anything to do with me then either.
                I’d already been ensnared by her. Even so early on, I knew she had come into my life and changed me forever.
                “I never said, I wasn’t afraid of death,” she whispered. My chest tightened and rejected the idea. Not that I didn’t understand that she was afraid of death, but that she would contemplate facing it. I would never allow that. She could doubt everything else about me, but never that, never that I would allow something to happen to her. 
                Steering her – and me-- away from those thoughts I said, “Fair, but can I also remind you that your dearest friend has the ability to turn into a very dangerous tigress?” I sat down on the couch, distracting myself from…. everything.
                “And when her head is mounted on your wall, we’ll be having a very different conversation,” she threatened. It was adorable.
                “I doubt Talbott will ever let that happen,” I laughed. If Talbott felt an ounce of how I craved Eden, Lilly would be perfectly safe, even in our turbulent world.
                “What will he be able to do?” She was full of that righteous anger again, set on fire with purpose and cause. I wanted to pull her into my arms and feel that heat on my body, feel how her passion could be used as kisses, turned into so much more in my arms. “His loyalty lies to the Crown, remember?”
                I focused my thoughts and promised her, “One day, things will be different.” She didn’t look any closer to believing me than before so I changed the subject, “I’m sorry, I don’t have any clothes for you to change into. I hoped once we got to the safe house, you would be able to borrow something of Roxie’s, but we left before I even got a chance to say hello to her. But, I think I might have some of my old things upstairs, if you don’t mind-“
                “What did you say?” she demanded. When she whirled around to face me, her black eyes glittered with intent.
                I fought the urge to tug at my collar, “I wanted you to borrow Roxie’s clothes.”
                “Roxie is in prison.”
                Oh shit.
                Double shit.
                I knew my lies would catch up to me one day, but I’d really hoped she would be back in love with me before then. I played the confusion card. “Is she? I must mean one of Avalon’s other Resistance members.”
                No way in hell was she buying that.
                “Roxie….” She started. Her gaze became unfocused as if she were replaying a movie in her head. “How is it that you know Roxie; or that Lilly’s father was at the safe house? Sebastian joined the Resistance and you don’t care at all? The magic in the door…. The little boy that adored you…. My brother’s forgiveness…. Kiran what the hell is going on?” she crossed her arms in that sexy, defiant way she had and I momentarily lost the ability to think.
                I recovered, needing to perpetuate this façade. It wasn’t time for her to know about my change of sides. I couldn’t let her in on the secret that I’d been harboring the entire time she’d been in my “custody.” She wouldn’t trust my motives; she wouldn’t believe the authenticity of my decision. I needed her to see me first, the real me, every reason I would forsake my father and fight against him.
                “I don’t’ know what you’re getting at,” I groaned, working hard to sound exasperated. “But speaking of Avalon, I’m glad you noticed that he forgave me. Maybe there’s a lesson in it for you.” There. Turning the tables should do the trick.
                “Don’t start with me,” she growled. And I was right. She was successfully distracted. “You may have betrayed us both, but you didn’t make promises to Avalon concerning his eternal future!”
                She was even more fired up; anger and frustration rolled off her in waves. Her magic was a force of nature in her fury. And after that accusation, mine was one to match.
                I stood up and spat out defensively, “Oh, right. I’d like to remind you that I was not the only that made promises!” She took a step back, physically moved by my words. I should have stopped. I should have backed off. But I was finally getting through to her. I was finally making her see that she wasn’t the only victim of heartache. Every one of my vital organs had been obliterated by her, ripped out of my body and wrecked into pieces. And she only saw what I’d done to her. She never even considered that my life had also been devastated. That I’d not only lost a man that was a father to me, but the love of my life- my goddamn eternal life. And it meant nothing without her. Because even after all that, even after everything I’d been through and be forced to give up, I still couldn’t breathe without her, still couldn’t imagine a life that she wasn’t by my side. And instead of seeing that, how profoundly in love with her I was; she was still blaming me for things I couldn’t change. And so it was no wonder that I lost my mind a little bit when I snapped, “Don’t you look at me like that! You did make promises! You did feel the way I felt about you. And I may have betrayed you, but I betrayed everybody! Don’t think I don’t know that. Only they’ve all forgiven me; everybody except you! Avalon, Lilly, even your parents have forgiven me, but not you. And what I have done to you is my least offense-“
                I could have gone on, but she cut me off.
                “My parents?” she screamed at me. “My parents have forgiven you?”
                “Oh don’t look so surprised!” I said out of pure exasperation. “Of course they have.” Along with the entire Resistance- not that she needed to know those specifics.
                “Why?” she demanded immediately. “Why have they forgiven you?”
                “Because I asked them to!” This was it, the end of my rope. I couldn’t hide these things from her anymore. I couldn’t continue to watch her blame me and hate me for everything- it was tearing me apart slowly, torturously.
                Her eyes flickered down to where my jaw met my earlobe. Bloody hell.
                “Show it to me,” she bit out. Her chest was heaving with breathlessness, her eyes sparkling onyx in their determination.
                Instead, I challenged her. “Show you what?” I would not show her. She would not have her proof until she was ready to meet me on even ground and bare her feelings honestly.
                “Show it to me,” she echoed, slowly. She took a step toward me and tension ricocheted between us violently. The thrill I felt from her enraged, aggressive magic tightened every one of my muscles and I sat forward, ready to meet her.
                “There’s nothing to show.” I turned my head so she couldn’t find what she was looking for. Technically nothing would show up until I infused my own magic, but there was no end to Eden’s power and I didn’t trust her for a second when left up to her own devices.
                “Kiran, I want to see it for myself.” She stomped her foot in that adorably defiant way and a wave of magic trembled the house on its foundations.
                I shouldn’t be this turned on by her hostility. But I couldn’t help it. Living with her for months and not being able to touch her like I wanted, to always have to keep her at arm’s length, to have to endure the torture of her promising herself to another had left me a desperate, despicable man.
                I needed her like I needed the magical blood in my veins.
                I forced myself to hold my ground, “No.”
                And then she hit me with a force so powerful I reeled from the effects. Her magic came at me like a freight train of power and I was blown back against the couch. I felt her in my head immediately. She didn’t mess around or play nice. She went after what she wanted without apology.
                God, I loved her.
                I knew what she was doing. It had never happened to me before, but I knew this was a tactic my father used- all the kings used. A device I’d been trained in and would be expected to utilize one day if my father were allowed to keep his crown.
                I had a half a second to decide whether to fight her or give her what she wanted.
                She was already in my head.
                She already suspected that I was part of her Resistance.
                Damn it all to hell, she could have what she wanted. And once she had all the facts, she could sort out for herself how she felt about me.
                So I gave her one of my most vivid memories, one I’d lived and relived in my own head over the past however many months. I gave her the night I asked her grandfather for her hand- a night that held so much hope and promise for the future it physically made me ill to look back on. I truly believed I was doing what was best for her- for us. I honestly believed that she would follow me blindly simply because I loved her, because I was willing to give her everything. And that once we were united, joined together, made invincible by our combined magics, we would conquer the rest of the Kingdom. I stupidly believed nothing would be able to stop us.
                I’d been a fool in so many ways and now she would know. She would understand how my naivety that night ruined every good thing I’d ever had.
                And then I didn’t stop.
                If she wanted my memories, she could have them.
                God knows they’d done nothing but torture me until I choked on them, until I thought I would suffocate from the heaviness of all my mistakes.
                I gave her the agony of Amory’s death. For so long she believed she was the only one that suffered that night. But I knew him longer. I loved him longer.
                And she had no idea how my own father betrayed me that night- that I was a victim as much as she was.
                And then I let her feel my own pain as my heart was ripped from my chest when she walked away from me. I was left to grieve not only my mentor’s unrighteous death, but the death of my future. She took everything away from me that night. Everything. There were no words to describe that kind of pain. I would never be the same man after that.
                And maybe that was a good thing.
                But her desertion changed me irrevocably.
                I let her experience just how much, and how the separation of our magics practically killed me- such was the nature of our connection. She’d always been the stronger one when it came to the two of us. She could walk away, I nearly died without her. She could pretend there wasn’t something between us and I would forever do whatever it took to just stay in the same room as her, to just give myself the opportunity to look at her. She didn’t need me, but there was nothing for me but her.
                And the memories went on. Morocco. The Dream Walk when I knew she was beyond my reach. My friendship with her brother. My plans to sacrifice my own life to save her and Avalon. How she ruined my plans to redeem myself by giving up my life so she could live. I showed her every thought, every feeling, every ounce of love I felt for her. And then I finally showed her my initiation into the Resistance.
                I could feel her emotions mix with mine, meld until there was no distinction between my endless love for her and the lengths I would go to in order to protect her. She was greedy with curiosity and I was determined to let her have and feel everything.
                The aching in my heart spread to hers. She would know the depth of my longing, of my frustration.
                Finally, I showed her everything I’d been through since she came back to me. I gave her my memories of watching her, trying to be the person she needed. I tried to stay away, keep my feelings separate, but with her so close I simply fell back into the addiction of my love for her. There were no more lies, no more half-truths. She saw my lust, my affection, my longing, my desperation, my hope and my fight as I rescued prisoners from the dungeons and worked with Avalon to solve our crisis.
                There was one thing for me to live for and that was her.
                Now she knew.
                A deep unease settled in my stomach as she drew back, pulling her mind from mine. I’d never been more vulnerable. I was completely and absolutely exposed and raw.
                And she was just staring at me with a combination of so many different emotions I didn’t even know how to pick a dominant one.
                I couldn’t feel ashamed though. No matter what she decided or concluded, I was glad she did that. I was tired of pretending I didn’t live every second of my life for her. I was tired of lying about my feelings, leading her to believe that every beat of my heart, every pump of blood, every second I lived and breathed wasn’t for her. Because it was. Because everything I was as a man, an Immortal and a future king was in pursuit of being a worthy enough equal for her.
                There was nothing left of me but a life dedicated to winning her back.
                To making her mine again.
                And the constant pain in my chest and tightness in my throat was finally relieved because now she knew.
                And it was up to her.
                A decision clarified her features all at once. Her black eyes lit up with intention and she closed the space between us in a heartbeat. She was in my lap, straddling my waist before I could take another breath and my body screamed “home” at the contact.
                She fisted the collar of my shirt in her hands and pulled my body roughly against hers. I met her heated stare and dared her not to kiss me, not to give into the primal need that bound us forever together.
                And then her lovely mouth was finally on mine.
                I met her kiss with my own ferocity. She felt everything that was inside of me and now I would sear those memories onto her skin- brand my soul on her until the end of time.
                My hands gripped her waist, slipping underneath her shirt and allowing the touches I’d been denied for too long. She was like my antidote as I faced death, my saving breath as I drowned in a sea of misery, she was the light in my utter darkness and I consumed her with everything I was. There was nothing but Eden for me. And I was determined to prove to her that I was her purpose in this life too.
                Her lips were hot and soft on mine. I delved my tongue into her mouth in a kiss that was both punishing and possessive. Our magics flickered around us in brilliant lights, finally connected again, finally united.
                My hands roamed her waist, savoring the heat of her skin, the electric current of her blood. I would never end this, never. At least not until I had her in every way I wanted her. She was intended for me, created solely for me and I would prove that to her every second of every day until she believed it to. Until it became her religion like it desperately was mine.
                She moaned against my lips and I thought I would combust into a million pieces at the perfection of it. This was where she belonged; this was where she was fated to be.
                Her hands slid from my collar to my hair and I leaned into her touch. I deepened the kiss as our residually combined emotions separated. But I still felt her thrumming pulse and pounding heart. Even as the influence of my emotions receded, she still wanted this kiss.
                And so I slowed it down. I could make this desperate and greedy, or I could prove how perfect we were for each other in every way. Slowing my kisses, I took her languidly, passionately. She would never be the same after this, never look at another man again.
                I wanted her to beg for me to take her upstairs, to whimper until I sated the desires that plagued my every thought.
                She tugged at my shirt and one intention pulsed through my brain on repeat. There was a rational thinking part of my mind that urged me to slow down, to get her to admit her feelings before I demanded anything physical from her.
                But the rest of me had been deprived of this rightness for too long and I was not capable of stopping my overwhelming need from receiving Eden’s consent.
                Finally her mouth was on mine. Finally her gorgeous body was in my hands. Finally I could do with her what I wanted.
                After my shirt was gone, I stood up and flipped her to her back. I had one intention and that was to possess her in every way. My mouth trailed kisses from hers down her jaw line to the delicate column of her throat. I worshipped her skin, gorged on the silky feel of her body in my hands. My breathing was erratic and my sight practically blind but for the vision of her, underneath me, letting me do whatever I wanted to her.
                She might just kill me after this- literally. But what a fine way to go.
                I pushed at her shirt, wanting any distance between us to be gone. I couldn’t get close enough to her; I craved every part of her, every piece of her.
                And still I kissed her, claimed her with my mouth. She was mine and now she would remember.
                But that’s when she pulled away.
                I couldn’t say if it was because I was asking her to go to a place she wasn’t comfortable with or if she’d finally realized what she’d gotten caught up in. But she pulled away, leaving me bone cold and shattered.
                She was tense and I immediately pulled back. My first instinct would always be to protect her- even if she thought she needed to be protected from me. I grabbed my shirt from over her head and yanked it back on.
                A thousand curses went through my head and sexual frustration didn’t even begin to describe the amount of pure defeat coursing through my body.
                She pulled her own shirt down and I winced at the loss. I couldn’t look at her now, I physically could not bear the shame I knew would be marring her beautiful face.
                In a pathetic whisper she apologized, “I…. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you, and then the kiss…..”
                “Don’t, Eden,” I begged; my voice still deep with desire. I didn’t want to listen to her excuses or hear how we were wrong for each other yet again. I was pretty positive I’d just proved how right we were for each other.
                “No, Kiran listen. I just…. I shouldn’t have done that to your mind….. And I shouldn’t have kissed you. I could just feel everything you were feeling and it overwhelmed me….”
                She was backpedaling so fast I thought I would be sick.
                “Please, just stop,” I winced. I tugged two hands through my hair so frustrated I felt like ripping it out. But bloody hell she was determined to go on until I took my own life.
                “I just want you to understand, that…. That obviously I just broke up with Jericho….. I still have feelings for him and I don’t….. I don’t feel that way about you.”
                “Enough,” I bit out harshly, more severely than I had intended. I jumped up from the couch needing fresh air, needing to separate myself from the sole object of my desires. Because even now after she’d rejected me and then downplayed every beautiful thing that happened between us, after she’d dismissed the truth and depth of my feelings for her and blamed her own desire on me, I still wanted her.
                Still needed her.
                And I was certain my addiction to her would be my death.
                At the door I turned back, because what I was about to tell her was truth, the basest, most primitive truth she’d ever hear. “You’re wrong by the way.”
                And then I left.
                But I only made it to the other side of the door before I’d decided that this wasn’t over. I couldn’t give Eden up, that much was obvious. And I didn’t want to. So instead I would do this every single day until she knew, until she could admit that her own feelings mirrored mine. I would spend the rest of my life convincing her of the truth between us or die trying.
                Either were viable options.
                And either would ensure that Eden was a part of my life until the end.
               
    

Rachel

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9 comments:

  1. So amazing!!! Thanks so much!!!

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  2. Celeste RodriguezJuly 30, 2013 at 11:00 PM

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!! That was absolutely wonderful!! It makes me want to go back and read the series all over again. I LOVED IT!!!!

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  3. A-MAZ-ING
    Those are the only words necessary. Love love love Kiran. Love.

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  4. Absolutely amazing! Love Love Kiran!

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  5. you should do the pov of fin at the running feild

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  6. i adore this please please do more from kiran's pov!!

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  7. Thank you, it's amazing! You're a really, really good writer and PLEASE do some more when you have time.

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  8. the star crossed series is amazing!i love it.i hope there are more books from eden and kiran's pov

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