Gold Medal Mover

Ok, I have three things to say first of all.

Who am I kidding??? I haven't blogged in a while, so unfortunately (For you...) I have a BUNCH of stuff to say!!! :)

First.... My phone is so broken it's kind of pathetic.... This was evidenced by the fact that it died yesterday and then after I plugged it in... hours and hours after I plugged it back in, as in the very middle of the night, I got all of the text messages I had somehow not gotten during the day.

Oh, like 25 of them!!!! ALL at once!

That's a fun alarm clock to wake up to!

(On a side note, don't think I'm super popular, I just happened to be part of a mass text message convo and that's part of the reason for so many!!!)

And Zach tried to call me yesterday. Before the phone died.... And.... definitely tried seven times and never got through!! It didn't even ring or acknowledge the fact that someone was trying to call me!!!

And don't even get me started on what it's like for me to send a text message or a phone call!!!!!!! Because I turn into this angry, angry, angry person!

There was this facebook picture the other day. Well... It's probably been circulating for a while, but I just saw it the other day.

And it was of the Lion King. The scene from the very beginning when the monkey holds up Simba to show all of the animals, only instead of Simba, he is holding a cell phone. And the caption said something like, "You know when you go all Lion King just to send a text message..."

That picture has become my life.

And thanks to that picture, now I always find myself singing the beginning the whole African theme song every time I'm trying to communicate with the outside world.

Ay.... Sabumai... Mo mo michi mo mo mua..... Nnnnnn... Sven ya ah.....

What those aren't the actual lyrics to the song???

I'm so confused because, I'm pretty sure that's what I've been singing since the song first came out.

So moral of this story is that I SHOULD march my broken phone self into the nearest AT&T store and update my phone. It's been way past two years and I have every opportunity for an upgrade.

But... It's not going to happen this week for sure. And probably not next week either.

Since we MOVE on SATURDAY!!!!!! And then a week from Friday I will be having a baby, unless the little nugget decides to come early.... Which might actually be kind of inconvenient.

But I would welcome that little punkin anyway. :)

Of course I would, right? But more so because I'm so hugely pregnant I can't function.

The main things that need to happen are... we obviously have to move. But also the kids all have checkups scheduled for August 8th and it took me ALL summer to get them in at the same time and if I have to wait, then it will take me forever again and Stella has to have kindergarten shots.

I mean... those are kind of nonnegotiable.

Not to mention, I should probably just make sure the health and well-being of my children is still up to par....

We haven't been to the doctor.... oh geez.... it's been such a long time!! The girls haven't been probably since their birthday checkups a year and a half ago.... at ages 2 and 4. And Stryker has been more recently, but not since his 9 month check up.


Double yikes.

We just don't get sick very often.... There is no need to go, other than checkups and we changed insurances this year and that seemed to take FOREVER.

Which, we are about to change again, so I need to get my money's worth out of this one, right???

And get at LEAST those once a year free checkup appointments out of the way.

Not that it's really free. I mean, I have been paying a premium every month.

Now is not the right time to go into the evils of insurance companies and the worse evils of a free health care program right???


Speaking of doctor appointments, since at least one person in this family has been making regular appearances in the office.

Ahem, me....

I am withering.


I can't be pregnant anymore!!! I just can't be!!!! It's too much!!!

Ok, now that my miniature breakdown is over, let me explain. Although... Zach might beg to differ with you that it's over.... since he is constantly explaining to me that he cannot in fact do anything to get the baby out of me, although I beg him to hourly.....

And if he could be doing anything to help.... well.... let's just say that he is and it's not doing me any good!!!!

Whoa. Sorry. I found my composure again.

I have very stubborn babies.... Apparently, they don't like to be told what to do. But this whole sweating, over-emotional state, dazed-confusion and exhaustion has simply GOT TO GO.

I told you about the reunion I went to over the weekend, which I have a lot to say about that, but it can wait. And I thought I would for sure say some awkward things or who knows really what I thought I would say, but the reality is that there is not really a whole lot happening upstairs in my brain right now.

Tell that to my poor little book that's supposed to be being written and the book will loudly declare, I KNOW!!!!!

It's awful.

So, for the most part I'm just kind of a confused invalid. That can't stop sweating.

It's awesome.

Trust me.

Although.... I did say this.... Well, people kept asking me what baby we were on, and most of them were like, Don't you have something like two kids already??

And I would say, Actually this is number four for us.

And one time when I answered like that, the person I was talking to started acting really, really weird, like four kids was an obscene amount of children.

So, I did the only thing I could.

Ok, the only thing I wanted to do. And that was to make the situation MORE awkward.

So I said, "Oh yeah, I'm definitely a Baby-Making-Machine!"

And I said it VERY enthusiastically.

It earned me the loudest, most uncomfortable laugh in return.

Which then made me laugh... because... well, don't make me feel like I belong on a reality show for having four kids! Plus, we all went to a Bible College.

Most of the girls there are ONLY there to snag a husband and start a family.

It's called the M.R.S. Degree.

Get it???

Anyway. I can hardly function anymore and it is NOT good for all the packing that needs to be finished.

Yesterday I took TWO naps. TWO. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. And then I went to bed early and slept through the night.

I have way way way too much to do to be sleeping that often. What needs to happen, is I need to have this baby and then I need to have all that energy and adrenaline that comes with an infant being up all hours of the night... Maybe my new writing hours can happen in the wee hours of the morning.

It doesn't really matter... just as long as they ARE happening.

I even sat down with my computer yesterday to get some work down. And then I stared at the screen for a good 23 minutes without typing anything.



And I blame it all on the baby.

Which leads me to my next point. The Olympics.

I LOVE THEM. Oh so much... Oh so very much!!! They are like my favorite thing ever.

And so yesterday. when I couldn't get anything written and I was in between naps I flipped Olympic Coverage Channels and decided these are some of the toughest sports and most serious athletes known to mankind.

Which is exactly how it's supposed to be.

Like, Sand Volleyball. I'm pretty sure that has to be one of the hardest, most grueling sports ever.

And even synchronized diving. Those women were all taped up! I am just so impressed with everything those athletes put themselves and their bodies through to become the best and beat the best.

Zach isn't as impressed with the Olympics. But that is because he lives his life breathing soccer and so he has his World Cup every four years which is basically what he lives all the in between years for.

And Olympic soccer is kind of a joke... or not a joke... but it is a lesser version of the World Cup because of all the crazy rules.

Like, the entire team is made up of under 23 year olds, except they get three older than 23 year olds to every team. Does that make sense??

But it's because with the World Cup two years later and the Euro's happening the same year as the Olympics, it is too much physically for the athletes.

And Zach says FIFA doesn't want anything taking away from the excitement and elitism of the World Cup.


So, unlike US basketball where we pool ALL of our best players. Soccer is just kind of the best of the young guys with a couple veterans thrown in for good measure.

And the USA didn't even qualify for soccer.... so.... there isn't a whole lot left for Zach to cheer for.

Although last night, they were flipping between swimming and gymnastics. Uh... my favorites!!!!!!!!!! And Zach stood up and said, "This is too EMOTIONAL! They can't keep flipping back and forth like this!!!"

Which is true... Those are like the two most stressful sports ever!!!!

And most dangerous.

Not for the athletes that I'm aware of. But I mean for my house. And my children.

Scarlett watched like two minutes of gymnastics yesterday afternoon (It wasn't even the US at that point...) :) and she decided she wanted to be an Olympic Gymnast.

Great. Wonderful! I am so excited to see her apply herself.

Oh wait....

Because that definitely meant she would be flipping, or ahem, attempting to flip off of every single high surface in our house ALL day long!!!! Somersault after somersault after somersault, from couches to the floor, from the fireplace to the floor, from the recliner to the couch.... She was a crazy person!!! She kept trying "to do" what the gymnasts did and that apparently meant air-born tumbling.

It was... interesting.

And I about had fifty heart attacks and had the "PLEASE DON'T DO THAT" conversation at least fifty times.

Stryker even got in on the action! Which included him throwing his body backwards on the floor and then scooting his little booty around in a circle.

He was just cute.

Scarlett was a terrifying mad woman.

And frankly I should have video-taped what the girls were trying to replicate after the synchronized diving.

Those memories are priceless!!!


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  1. Rachel, i can totally see you saying that you are a baby-making machine and i can hear the awkwardness in your voice. I love you girl!

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