The Last Rite

Well, here's the truth. I should definitely be getting right to work today. But. My brain is still fuzzy so I'm warming up with the el bloggo.

And for that I apologize.

Also thank you so much for the comment on Tums. We are working on getting Stella to try them!! She has an aversion to anything medicinal. Apparently paranoia is a genetic disorder.

So is social anxiety.

With which my little first born suffers from as well.

This was made acutely aware to us today, being the first day back at school. And poor Stella just could not make herself go. Finally, I coaxed her inside, walked through the morning routine with her and then left her staring after me with her ginormous eyes the size of saucers and her bottom lip trembling.

It was awful.

I felt like a terrible, horrible, neglectful mother.

And even worse because I know exactly what she is going through!!

In like third grade I spent an entire semester in and out of the doctor's office having all manner of tests run on my stomach with which they thought there was some crazy, abnormal, deadly problem.

In the end I was diagnosed with a Nervous Stomach.

That is very, very scientific and I'm sure my parents appreciated those bills.... No, I'm just kidding! They were just happy I was healthy.

I was Just nervous. And still am....

So I know exactly what Stella is going through. Which means, I also know that the fear only exists around the getting there part and once she finds her friends again she'll be absolutely fine. More than fine, she'll flourish.

That doesn't make leaving her any easier....

Ugh. Parenting!!!! Who needs it?

Anyway, so yesterday, Zach came home early from work and I got to slip away to a coffee shop to write for a few hours. It was heaven.

And not because I got a ton of work done.... Oh, no. Let me tell you a little something I learned yesterday, Coffee Shops are WAYYYYY to distracting and my purse-supply-of-chocolate runs out way, way, way too quickly.

I just LOVE to people watch. I love it. I love to psycho-analyze everything and so I pretend to write whilst I mentally break down every relationship, every individual, every interaction with my one year of Psych Major skills I've honed so skillfully over the years.

Honestly, I can't stop myself from doing it. I think it's a sickness.

But something happened yesterday that took the cake. That was so deliciously bizarre and out of the ordinary that I entered People-Watching-Heaven.

Well first, I sat down next to two middle aged guys that seemed to both be in school. Maybe graduate? Or doctorate because they were both very smart. One was German and the other had a bunch of papers he was having the German guy translate. Their conversation was intellectual and political, funny and witty and not that I'm a genius by any means but it kind of took everything in me not to join them. Those are my favorite kinds of conversations. Plus there is something about the German sense of humor and way of interacting, it's very dry and cut short, like right to the point and every German I've ever run into has just said exactly what's on their mind and never offered an apology. I just love that.

So after they left, I was alone for a while and did actually get some work done. But then I got stuck on a chapter. I didn't know where I wanted it to go. Ok, I didn't even know what the point of it was for a while... It was a bad moment for me.

Meanwhile, a table of Priests filed in and sat down next to me.


This is the jewel of any avid People-Watcher. And not just Priests per say, but religious groups, or.... any group of people believing the same thing prior to their interaction.

So an Amish family is comparable. Or like a table full of teachers that all work at the same school. That kind of thing.

But especially religious. Those are the best.

Do I sound like a total creeper or what???

Sorry.... I guess....?

So anyway, the table is intermixed with a few other guys that are married with kids. So I kind of get the feeling that all these guys went to school together, probably at like Creighton Prep since four of them are priests. And if they were on a board together somewhere they would have an agenda, instead of just coffee and conversation.

They get to talking and they have lots to say about politics and Omaha and what's coming up in their respective churches, where their kids are thinking about going to college and so forth and so on.

All this while I'm trying to put together a dialogue between Eden and Seraphina. You can see why I wasn't getting anywhere!!!!

But then one of them asks about Christmas, and how it was for the priests and their parishes. And one of them laughs and tells this story:

He was starting Christmas services in early mass when one of his parishioners slumped over in his pew. Well, thought the priest, poor man fell asleep. So the priest starts watching him and talking especially loud so that he can wake him up. (From all of the agreeing and excited nods of the head, I learned this is a practice all of the priests resort to. I couldn't help but find that absolutely amusing!!!) Nothing works though, the guy is out! And then it dawns on the priest, half way through service, he's not sleeping, he's dead!!!!!! So, he interrupts service and walks straight over to the guy to feel for a pulse, which there is one, it's faint, but there is one. There are two nurses in service who quickly come to his aid and diagnose him with a heart attack, the ambulance has been called and the guy ends up living after being rushed to the hospital.


I mean, serious pins and needles at Scooters while I'm trying to write!

I have a second to mull over the story, and I start thinking to myself, what a crazy story!! Good thing the priest was paying attention.

But they weren't finished!!!

At the end of his story, the other priests start murmuring their shared feedback. And then launch in to stories of their own of when people actually DIED in church!!!!!

Can you believe that???

One guy keeled over during a hymn, one guy during communion. I mean, I was really floored that so many people seem to die during church!!

It was absolutely fascinating. I never figured out my chapter, but holy smokes with stories like that who needs fiction???


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