Self-Help

I've been hard on myself lately. And I'm not exactly sure why.

Well. I have an idea, but it is this whole philosophy that I'm saving for a later date.

But, in the shallow end of my thinking, the part of my brain that doesn't think I'm a therapist and capable of diagnosing everyone and everything with the appropriate mental disorder, I don't know what is going on.

Oh yes, I completely think I am a psychiatrist. Which is weird, because I'm terrible at listening.

Wait.

Which one is the one that can't prescribe drugs. I'm that one....

I took one year of college as a psych-major and suddenly I'm an expert. I'm like those people that medically diagnose themselves and everyone around them. I'm like the mentally-ill equivalent of a hypochondriac.

Whatever that is.

M, maybe this is why we get along so well!!!!! You always think you are dying of something, and I am just waiting for the white van to pull up and drag me away in a straight-jacket.

Shoot.

Anyways. It takes crazy to know crazy. That's all I know.

So, instead of me laying down the foundation of a very complicated, and probably rambling hypothesis on why and where I think these negative thoughts come from. I'm going to keep things relatively simple and say, listen, I am confident.

In fact, I have a boatload of confidence.

I don't know where this negativity and self-doubt is coming from. It's irritating the begeezus out of me. And I get that it's totally annoying!

I've had three separate people in the last 24 hours politely ask me to stop being so hard on myself and I had to actually pause one time, because I'm like, I'm not hard on myself. Not at all. I like myself. I really do.

But then I realized that when I talk or write lately that it isn't coming out that way. So. First of all, I apologize for the mixed signals. And for the complaining. And today, as an exercise in appreciating myself I'm doing a Top Ten List of things that are not only completely random, true facts about me, but things that I'm absolutely proud of.

And, sorry if it feels like I'm bragging about/talking about/obsessed with myself... But really this is an exercise for me and I encourage everyone to do it! I promise you are going to feel SO much better about yourself at the end of it. (See... I've slipped back into pshycho-therapy again. Just lay down on my couch and relax. Everything you say in her will remain confidential....)

Also. If you're bored with hearing me talk about myself then you can skip ahead to the end of the blog where I will be giving details about a give-away!!!!!!!

So.

The.

Top Ten Most Random Things About Me.

1. If I were ever brave enough, slash... drunk enough.... (Because I would TOTALLY have to be inebriated to get up on stage no matter what your Bible says about that....) Ahem, if I were ever brave enough to do Karaoke in front of a group of people other than my children in the car or doing dishes, then I would choose this song: (Brace yourselves.....) Genie In A Bottle by Christina Aguilera. Yep. That's right. Maybe you were expecting something by Britney, but the truth is, I can't sing to Britney. She has a very different voice than mine. However, Christina and me...? We're Soul Sisters. (Yes, that was a reference to Lady Marmalade, my second choice as far as Karaoke songs go.)

2. I don't believe that we need to drink milk for a source of calcium after the age of two. Yep. And you're not going to convince me otherwise. Drinking cow's milk for calcium is a rather new development in the list of beverages for mankind and in most other countries not on the list of top priorities of ways to get calcium or die. There are simply many other ways to find calcium. America happens to be a country where Dairy Farmers need to make a living. Pushing milk as a vital part of our diet helps business. It's clever, believable marketing and that's that. And the consumption of milk has been linked to autism, downs syndrome and arthritis. Ok. Now before you crucify me. Much like the vaccine and autism argument, I believe there are proven cases, but I still take my children in for their vaccines and they are almost all up to date, except that last month I forgot Stryker needed to go in for his nine-month check up.... Just like I still give them milk, and I still cook with milk, I still use milk, I use all other dairy products. It's just not something I believe if you cut it out of your diet, you will instantaneously come down with osteoporosis and die..... And I'm all for supporting farmers in this country, believe me! I am from Nebraska after all.... And I'm all for smart advertising and clever marketing. But I'm still going to be honest with myself and recognize strategy over medical necessity. Ok. Ready. Set. Argue with me about it! :) Just kidding. But seriously, my little brother does practically every time he sees me and he's a nurse.

3. I floss after every meal. Sometimes after every single time I eat. I am obsessed with it. And I always have to have it with me, or I go crazy until I get it. You would never know this if you were just talking to me and looked at my teeth, but I take really good care of them. Unfortunately, they hate me and are doing their best to escape my mouth and run away forever to probably join the circus. And as a side note, the next dentist to tell me that bad teeth are a result of poor periodontal care and not genetic at all will get punched in the face. Not even kidding.

Ok. Kind of kidding.

4. I am not so much of an athlete.... at least not anymore.... Nor am I artistic whatsoever!!!!! BUT. I am really, really good at games that mean nothing. Such as Catch Phrase, Yahtzee, I am super, super good at Pictionary, I basically dominate my husbands Christmas party every year.... Tippy Cup (Yes, don't judge.) and Apples to Apples. Just don't make me play a game that requires thinking, like Risk or Monopoly or Life or anything like that. Ugh. I've already lost interest, just saying the names.

5. I am really good at organizing. I view life and cleaning and papers or whatnot as a puzzle, which I am also very good at (Like Sudoku and Tetris. Oh yes, I dominate...). But I can see how things fit together and put them there in an efficient, smart way. Just don't come over to my house right now and don't you dare look in my purse.... They wouldn't exactly be reflections of this talent.

6. I am super good at directions. Like once I've been someplace, I never need directions again. And I can usually just find the place I'm supposed to be at even without directions. I rarely get lost. And if I tell you I was lost and that's why I was late, USUALLY.... (But not always) it's just a lie because I was running way, way, way behind. So. Also. There's a moment of honesty....

7. The bassoon. Oh yeah. I play it. I'm proud of it. I went to All-State twice with it in high school and I might not be the best woodwind you've ever heard, or even good enough to make the city orchestra, but... how many Bassoonists do you know??? I'm probably the best you've ever heard of!!! :) Just kidding!!!!!

8. I love small talk. LOVE IT!!! Like, the more awkward the better. This one might actually be clinically diagnosable. I don't know if it's part of my upbringing or the responsibilities from high school. I'm not exactly sure where it comes from, but I LOVE a good first conversation, where nobody knows really what to say or how to carry on the conversation. My favorite is when you meet someone and actually hit it off. And at the end feel like, ok, this could be my new best friend. BUT a very close second is when the conversation is so totally awkward that it makes your skin crawl and everyone in the room is glancing at their watches. I can't help it. I love it!!!! And even if I am nervous to start with, pretty soon, I'm all into my crazy self, saying things I shouldn't and egging on the awkwardness. It's a sickness, I'm pretty sure.

9. I can look exactly like tho Who people from The Grinch That Stole Christmas. This is not a joke. I puff up my upper lip and voila I'm Lucy Lou Who. In fact, I've already decided next year for Halloween, I'm going as her. I used to be embarrassed of the resemblance, it has something to do with my schnoz.... BUT. I've decided it's time to wear it loud and proud and so next year I'm Lucy and Zach's the Grinch, although he doesn't know it yet.

10. And Lastly. If I wasn't a writer. My dream job would be to decide the charitable contributions of a very wealthy company. Like take all of their "Foundation" money and decide who to give it to and where and how it can make the most difference. Does this job even really exist??? Or how does one go about getting this dream job? I have no idea. That's why I'm a writer. :)

There. Those are things I love about myself. And from now on I'm going to work on the positive and reclaiming that confidence I once had. Geesh.

In the mean time here is a super fun contest.

Well, super fun? I mean.... Maybe not.

But this give-away is something straight from me to you.

An autographed print of the Reckless Cover. Unless you would prefer it not autographed.... Because I am COMPLETELY cool with that.

Here are some pictures of the prize.


For Mother's Day, Zach framed a copy for me. (Isn't he the best???? Keep in mind, that in May, I had sold like 20 Reckless and most were to family.....) But he had two printed, one mat, and one glossy. I am giving away the glossy one!!!!

Here's a picture of it.


So. All you have to do to qualify is be a follower of my blog, and post on it your favorite quote of the whole series. It can be from any book. And really, it doesn't even have to be a favorite. You can just post any quote. But I would LOVE to hear your favorites!!!! :)

The deadline is Tuesday NIght. Or really.... Before I wake up Wednesday Morning and I will announce the winner at random on Thursday!!!!!! Also. You can have multiple entries.

Ok, have fun!!!



Rachel

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26 comments:

  1. "You've nothing to worry about, Eden," his eyes grew serious, their light turquoise turning to a dark blue in the span of a thought, that seemed to reveal the depth of his soul, "I am nothing more than bound to you."
    Way too hard to pick a quote, but what girl wouldn't want to hear something like that? And I get to be the first post:)

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  2. "I'm not going to rape and pillage you if that's what you're worried about," he mumbled, tugging at his bow tie and the buttons of his high tuxedo collar.

    I would find more quotes, but I read my books on iPhone, and I haven't figured out how to go back to chapters yet lol. But I liked this quote, because this was something I wondered about, considering that having sex pretty much binds them together.

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  3. "I loved Jericho in the way two people are supposed to love each other, with trust, commitment, and honesty". --Fearless Magic

    Jericho all the way!!

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  4. "Before you", Kiran continued, "I did not know love could exist like this...So all consuming... So powerful... So... Binding. But that is the thing, Eden, I am bound to you, sompletely. And now that I have found you, there is only one way for me to live, only one way that I can live, and that is with you as my wife" --Hopeless Magic.

    There it is!!! who does not want to be loved that way?, specially when you feel exactly the same way about him??? anyone after that is just second best?

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  5. "this was home. No matter what happened, no matter how much pain I went through, no matter how much loss I suffered, I would always be home in Kiran's arms. My magic would always search for his, my electricity always be most alive captive in his and my soul only complete when connected with his" --fearless magic.

    There is no other choice, is Kiran all along and all the way!!!

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  6. "Feelings like that, they just don't disappear because you want them to. They're irrational to begin with, so telling them to go away usually makes them worse." - Fearless Magic

    As a writer, I couldn't have described forbidden love any better than that!

    P.S. Is it selfish of me to want Endless Magic now? Now. NOW! :-)

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  7. "I stood with arms wide and chin tipped toward to sun rising in the east, over the pointed mountain peaks. I breathed the thin, crisp air finding a perspective bigger than myself, bigger than my problems. I stayed like that for awhile, drinking in the sacredness surrounding me." Hopeless Magic (in Peru)
    I love how you take these words and put ME there!

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  8. A giant tidal wave, of what seemed to be the entire rive engulfed the shore. I watched in terror as all of my classmates and Mr. Lawly were suddenly and unexplainably covered head to toe in a torrential downpour.

    So funny! Makes me laugh every time i read it.

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  9. "I wanted what my parent had. I wanted an all-consuming love that encapsulated complete self-sacrifice and offered only an equal amount of love in return. I wanted to be held without an agenda and without a desperate man's motives. I wanted to be respected and have my opinions heard. I knew that Jericho was a man that would offer me all those things and more". - Fearless Magic

    Who would have thought that searching on iPhone Kindle was a lot easier than I thought?

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  10. "I don't blame you, Eden. Avalon answered forgiveness flooding me. This was a tradedy, but it was not your fault. And now, you are our only hope. You can not fail. Not for my sake, but the dake of your people." - Hopeless Magic

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  14. Definitely tough to pick a quote but the ending of Fearless comes to mind, "Eden, what have you done?" I <3 a cliffhanger.

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  15. "I loved Jericho in the way two people are supposed to love each other, with trust, commitment, and honesty" from Fearless Magic also gave me the warm fuzzies.

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  16. Had to jog my memory for this one. I knew where in the book to find it but still had a bit of trouble (no word search feature on the Cloud Reader).

    "Jericho's eyes burned with intensity, his hazel eyes burning brown with flecks of green shining through. He smiled at me, his dimple pronouncing itself and I didn't know what to do."

    I am a hopeless romantic.

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  18. "You believed in God when you thought you were human; when you suffered pain and hunger, tyranny and war. But now that you live above that, with unlimited power and unlimited life you doubt that there is an entity greater than you?" - Kiran, Reckless Magic

    Love, love, love that these characters can still believe in something greater than themselves!

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  19. Oh so many quotes to love - also from Reckless Magic:

    "As unlikely as our love affair might have been, loving Kiran was the only concrete path I could imagine. I was wholly consumed with a love that would probably get me killed, but I would never have chosen any other way. I could not have chosen any other way. We were truly destined for each other, fated to be together.... we were star-crossed."

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  20. "You cannot have me! I am not something to hold and possess, I am a force to be reckoned with!" - Eden, Fearless Magic

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  21. "You were patient all this time. I had to find myself first; I had to remember who I was and become the person I was meant to be. You have been there for me patiently while I searched for you, even when I didn't know I was looking for you, you were there." - Eden to Jericho, Fearless Magic


    I'm so torn! I love the "old" Kiran, but there is something so soothing and solid about Jericho!!

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  22. "I love you, that has never changed. I am hoping that one day, not any day soon, I get that, but one day you will be able to love me in return. So I plan on doing everything in my power to help you move past Kiran and onto... different things. It's not fair though, if you don't know the entire story, so I'm starting with that; I'm starting with truth, and it will always be the whole truth." Jericho

    Ninenine touyen (FB)

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  23. "I heard him sigh sweetly as though he had waited for this kiss for a very long time. Our magic connected with an almost violent force and i fought to keep consciousness. Our souls were united in that one moment, and I never wanted to leave it."

    Kiran and Eden's first kiss. I am voting for Jericho, but mmmm.

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  24. "I should like to learn how to baste a Turkey" Kiran smiled back and I reached for my wine glass
    He's talking about sex. He wants to have sex with you. Avalon sent me the message telepathically and I choked on my wine, spitting it back into my glass and continuing to cough.


    I found that hilarious I am team Kiran lol

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  25. "Lily Mason is innocent!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, adrenaline and nerves getting the best of me.

    This one has stuck with me throughtout the books. To actually do it proves how kicka** Eden really is and going to be!

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  26. Jericho to Eden: "i only tries to keep you out of the way so we could get the job done. It's not my fault you needed a little extra discipline."
    Eden: "oh really? I'm the one who needed discipline? If I remember right you were getting your ass kicked."

    Ahh flirting at their first meeting. Lol

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