Fear Factor

Oh my word. I cannot even tell you how cold it is here today.

Unless. You live here... Then you know!!!!!

Yesterday was this gorgeous fall day, where the trees were beautiful colors, and the sun was shining and the air was warm.

I never, ever wear a coat.

But that's a different story all together.

So anyways, I never wear a coat, but I do wear gloves and scarves and I was sweating in my scarf yesterday!!!!

Today? Not so much. In the course of dropping Stella off at preschool and coming home, it has thundered, hailed, sleeted and the wind has literally tried to blow my face off. There is actual SNOW in our forecast!!!!!!!

Are they kidding me???

Yesterday, Zach spent the day getting all of his equipment ready for snow removal. Whilst he was sweating because it was so warm out.

Oh, Nebraska. I love you. But this is craziness.

And ok, really, the drastic weather changes are totally some of the reasons I LOVE Nebraska, but still. What is happening????

Anyway, so all of my anxiety for yesterday, turned out to be completely unnecessary!!! I know. What a shocker....

Listen. My fears are irrational. All of them!!! I am not scared of ONE rational thing, I can promise you that. So. Sorry, that you probably all think I'm crazy now....


So anyway, the play-date was super, super fun. And I felt like an expert in the field. Which I am SOOOOOO not. I have no idea what I'm doing in this whole writing adventure. So. Me giving advice to someone even less in-tuned with the culture than me, is actually a legitimate frightening thought.

But the highlight of yesterday had to be the fancy dinner I went to last night.

It was for the school I graduated from. And they do it once a year to raise money so that all kinds of families can afford their tuition. Which is rather high for here, but very low compared with the rest of the country.

So anyway, I just love things like that. I could literally live my life going to conferences, and dinners and classes and church and whatever else there is where I can sit and listen and learn and laugh and have polite conversation and be dressed up.

It's seriously what I love.

And last night was amazing.

And to top it off. I was told I was cute TWICE. Which, I don't mean to brag... So... I apologize. But, I haven't had the greatest self esteem lately. Which is rare for me. Because confidence is one of those things I have just always had.

So, I don't know if it's the plethora of pictures I've been in lately, or the fact that I'm surrounded by mirrors at work, or that I am so sick of my closet I could puke.... I don't know. But it's been kind of an issue lately.

Plus, before I even left for the conference I was getting the thumbs up from Zach and I ask him my usual question.... "Do I look ok? Or is this too gothic??"

To which he responds, "No, it looks good. You definitely look gothic, but you kind of are, so it's fine."

To which, I thought. Dangit!!!! He's right.

As I leave the house in all black, from head to toe, with giant gold earrings and this gyspy looking necklace with like a crystal at the end of it.

Plus my nose ring.

Oh geez, I just really, really, really wish you all knew the kind of crowd I was walking in to at that point!!!

I will tell you this, the speaker was Mike Huckabee and the hostess for the evening was Miss America.


And in I walk looking like Wednesday Adams with a piercing that is SO not school approved.

My poor mother.

So. Then someone commented on how cute I looked, almost immediately and that alleviated some of my outcast-fears. Whew.

And then at the end of the night, someone paid me the sweetest compliment and said that I looked "So cool."

Well, trust me, I NEVER get that compliment. Like ever.

Sometimes I get, "You look so..... Homeless right now."

Never Cool.

Nope. Never.

But I'll take it.

Thank you stranger, you made my day!!!! :)

Can I just say, that it is SO cold in this house right now that I am super tempted to call Zach, explain there is a made-up-emergency and then make him build me a fire so my feet don't get frostbite!!!!!

Good grief, there is an entire list of things I need that man to teach me how to do, should anything, God-Forbid, happen to him!!!

They include things like building a fire in the fireplace, how to properly check the car for oil(I'm rather notorious about my lack of that skill.....) and how to cook any kind of protein, including hot dogs.

Speaking of lists, I am going to end with one today! I haven't done one in a while and I meant to do this one over Halloween, but I completely forgot, so I'm tacking it on to the end of this blog!!

Get excited.

Ten Things I am Completely, and Utterly Irrationally Afraid Of.

Let me remind you, these are my worst fears.

Also, let me remind you again that they make no sense, they are not based in reality and they are completely Irrational!!!

1. Little children whispering. Is there a worst sound???? Totally gives me shivers.

2. Mirrors in the dark. Oh yes, never, never, never look into a mirror in a dark room. Even if the words "Bloody Mary" haven't even crossed your mind. We can't be taking any chances people!!!

3. Clusters of black birds on telephone wires. What are they doing?? Why are they just waiting there?? Why do they all have to sit so close together?? Why is there so many of them? And most importantly, have I just unknowingly walked into an Alfred Hitchcock movie?????

4. School Hallways at Night. My mom was a teacher growing up, well she still is. But anyways, my childhood was spent at the school, and too many of the minutes of my life were spent walking down darkened, eerily quiet hallways, looking over my shoulder with shortened breath and then sprinting to the lighted classroom where my mom worked happily ignorant of the dangers of the school after dark!

5. Little kids singing. But not just any singing, like the scary, acapella singing whilst riding their bicycle in a circle or playing with dolls in the dark. That kind of singing.....

6. Dangling any appendage off the bed at night! In fact, no matter how hot it is, I ALWAYS, ALWAYS have to sleep under the covers!!! Obviously, because if I didn't some demonic creature would eat whatever part of me was exposed.

7. Bugs. Bugs. Bugs. And. Bugs. Oh my word, no matter how big or how small, I am Terrified of them!!! I have been, ever since I was a little girl. I can't kill them. I can't acknowledge them. All I can do is run away, screaming like a hysterical crazy person and demanding that Zach be my hero, my knight in shining armor, and step or swat whatever is buzzing or crawling around. As it turns out, this fear is genetic and I have passed it along to my children. Also. The very worst place to live if you have this fear is the country.

I live in the country.

8. Seizures. I am afraid of seizures. So afraid, that I don't like to go places with Strobe Lights. Ahem, there is no history of seizures on either side of my family. In fact, maybe this number should really be called Strobe Lights. Because those are really what I'm more afraid of, not the actual seizure.

9. Something puncturing my belly-button. It's not like I'm not afraid of something puncturing my eyeball, or brain, or heart for that matter, but the one place I actually live in fear of is my belly-button. I did say these were irrational fears, didn't I? I explained that.... right????

10. And finally. I am so totally, completely, utterly afraid of... drum roll please.... sticking my hands into things that I cannot see perfectly clearly. Like, the back of closets... The back of drawers.... Into drains.... Into boxes that I can't see into. Sometimes... my purse. Anything and everything that is an unknown and dark and I will have to feel. Oh, gross, It totally just gave me the heebies just thinking about it!!!!

How awful.

So there you have it folks. I am not scared of normal things, like clowns, or extreme weather, or sharks, or even vampires.

Oh. No.

My list of fears, when examined rationally, are not even things that can hurt me. Or will hurt me. Or in reality, bother me at all.... But still, I cringe, shiver and run/avoid all things irrational and kind of just pray I'm not the only one!!!


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