This morning, it's early. Oh. So. Early.

Zach's alarm for work hasn't even gone off yet!

But don't worry, all three kids and me are risen and shining! (I don't feel like that's how you say that, but Rised and Shined didn't sound right either.... :)) (Also, I think I need to figure out emoticons because my smiley faces in parenthesis always look like they have a double chin.)

(Although, come to think about it, that might actually be more accurate.... Just kidding!)

Enough parenthetical phrases.

So, here I um, up before even the garbage trucks have come, before the sun has dared to even open her eyes and before there are any real cartoons on. Oy. It's going to be a loooong day.

At least this morning I have coffee. Glorious coffee. And not just the cheap-o can from the supermarket, this is the good stuff.

I ground it myself this morning.

A gift from a guy Zach works with. And can I just give him a universal thank you! Things were going to get ugly if I didn't get coffee back in my system STAT.

Ugly for me, not for you. Well, maybe for you if you ever bumped into me. I, might desperately need a shower.... And I'm not exactly sure there is a way to justify not showering with not having coffee. At least not rationally....

Dang it.

I'll blame it on motherhood. Especially those without kids always believe anything I tell them, whilst trying to juggle three kids. Like, oh sorry Officer that I ran those three red stop signs and happen to be driving thirty miles over the speed limit. I have three kids.

A warning? Why thank you, Officer.

(Ok, that is a WAY, WAY, WAY over-exaggerated story.. But something along those lines may have happened....)

There are downsides though, to having children. I mean, it's not just all, getting out of speeding tickets... Which hardly applies anyways, because speeding is very hard to justify with three precious babies in the back, reminding me when a light is red, yellow or green.

Plus, I love driving with them, so I take my time no matter how late we are. We are what I like to call, "Car-Dancers." We get down. I mean,hands in the air, bopping and grooving (yes, oh yes, I used those words.). I mean, it's a serious thing for us. And the girls LOVE to sing. To girl songs only, of course. Except that Scarlett's most favorite song is Moves Like Jagger. But she might actually think Adam Levine is a girl.... so.....

I cannot tell you how much she loves that song.

And Stella? She can sing the entire Someone Like You by Adele. Not even kidding. She raises her little diva hands and everything.

Don't worry, there are also plenty of Christian Songs in the mix. But I want them to be well-rounded. :)

Where was I?

Oh, the downside of Parenthood.

Yesterday, I had to do, probably... one of the hardest things I have ever done as a parent. It was awful. For me and for Stella.

Monday, when I picked Stella up from school, something happened. She had not only stolen something, but lied about it... And her teacher and I figured it out in the three seconds it took me to say, where did this come from? And her teacher said, She said it was hers.

My heart literally dropped to my feet.

Ok, lying has happened around the house. It just has. She's four. She's figuring out what is acceptable and what is not. And lying has happened to other adults before, in that she is so shy. So.... incredibly shy that sometimes they ask her a question and she just nods her head, "yes."

In those cases, if I am nearby I will question her and then correct her. But I don't make her verbally correct herself. I don't want to punish her for not being verbal and honest with strangers, even other adults that she is maybe just not super comfortable with (Which is actually every single person besides Zach and me, I mean she is even shy around her aunts and uncles.).

But for obvious reasons, in today's society and with the creepers out there(I say that, while I write Dear Diary to the Unknown Universe... But that's a different blog, Right M?) I just don't want her to be super vocal to grownups. I just want her to be comfortable.

Ok. So that said. We, in her entire four years of life, have never, ever, ever had to deal with Stealing. It has never once come up. Not. Once.

It's not even a lesson I could have taught her prior to this incident.

I mean we've talked about it, and she knows that it's wrong, but there has never been like a teachable moment about it.

Until Monday.

And in the rush of Pick-Up and My UTTER Shock, I didn't handle the situation correctly. I mumbled an explanation/apology to her teacher, shoved her in the car without making her say anything and then thought about what had just happened.

Well. It took me to the end of the parking lot to realize that there was no way that this was an accident and that my child had in fact, stolen and then lied to her teacher about it by mistake.

Gasp. My heart dropped and the lecturing, or really it was more of an explanation that what she had done was very wrong, began.

It took another two seconds for her to burst into tears. She knew what she did was wrong. She had known the minute she had done it, teachable moment or not. And so, Monday was a rough day.

A really rough day.

She is this sensitive little thing that feels EVERYTHING. And so for her to be the one in the wrong, with the weight of that criminal act on her shoulders, she was a mess.

Don't worry we talked it out. And she knew she was going to have to apologize to her teacher the next time she had school.

Ok, my two little girls are SO different. Scarlett does something wrong and the very first words out of her mouth are an apology. I mean, lightning fast, she'll ramble off "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." But she doesn't necessarily mean her words. She just knows she has to say them, so she does.

Stella on the other hand, immediately feels sorry. With EVERYTHING in that tiny little body of hers she feels terrible. She will get sick over how sorry she is. She will cry for days. She will refuse to ever leave her bedroom again because she FEELS so awful.

However, it is like torture to get her to say the words. I don't know what it is about her, I want to believe she is actually too sorry to say sorry, but that's just a mother's perspective. I don't know how many times at the playground, I've had to hold her for too long trying to get her to say sorry and it always ends in punishment. She would rather be punished than apologize, even though she is actually sorry.

That's not the point. It's great to feel sorry. But you also have to be able to say the words. I FIRMLY believe that.

I can't explain her behavior for the rest of her life. Or to her Spouse. Or to her children. Or whoever.

Anyways, I started prepping her for school and what she would have to say to her teacher immediately. Both Zach and I continually pulled her aside all day Monday, all day Tuesday and just hammered it into her head. Ok first thing, you have to apologize. You have to apologize. Mommy will be right there, but you cannot go to school until you apologize. I promise you will feel SO much better after your teacher forgives you.

And she said she was ready. She assured us she would say the words, as long as mommy stayed with her.

So.

We get to school. Late of course.... And I tell her teacher, Stella has something to say. Ok, Stella..... GO.

Nothing.

She buried her face in my neck and wouldn't even open her eyes.

I'm like. Great. Here we go. We stood there, for I'm not kidding fifteen minutes or more. Her teacher wanted to start class, other kids were coming and moving around. And I am standing there in my pajamas, no makeup on, and greasy hair, going LET"S GO!!!!!! Of course, not like that though, she's delicate, at any moment this could break down into sobbing hysteria and then my teachable moment would be ruined!

The point is to get her to say the words, "I'm sorry."

So finally, her teacher walks away. I give her a pep talk. And I make the announcement, "Ok, we're ready." Meanwhile, inside, I'm like, "PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SAY THE WORDS!!!!"

And finally she did. She whispered them. But she did look her teacher in the eye. And then she was forgiven. And I could, thank the Lord, and move on with my life!!!

As I'm leaving, her teacher sticks her head out the door and says, "I'm impressed, you're persistent!"

I just rolled my eyes(with good-humor). Because at that point I had no choice! I mean, we had been talking about the apology for days. She already felt bad. The wrong deed had been done. If I would have let all of that happen and then given up, the whole Teachable Moment would have just been flushed down the toilet and forgotten about! I would have stood there all day if I had too.

Ok, no, I would have taken her home and then tried again the next day.... But we would have done that until she finally said those words.

So, she got her forgiveness, (which really, I think is just as important...) and walked into class ready to have the best day of her life.

I got in the car. Ready to drive away. And BURST into tears. Oh my word. I was a wreck. I total, complete wreck. It was not only emotional for me because I just felt so so so bad for my baby girl and I HATED that she had to go through it. But man, it was like a release of nervous energy.

Ugh.

It makes me cry just thinking about it.

Hardest thing yet, I really think so.... And the thing is, my kids, as much as I like to believe they are, they're not perfect. Which means, I'm going to have to go through a lot more of this....

I don't know if I can do it!!

:)

Anyways. THANK YOU to every one who has commented on the blog for ALL of your sweet, sweet comments!!!! I am just going to trust in you that one day, I'll be able to afford a maid!! :) And I'm not going to lie. I'm SO looking forward to that day!!! haha!

And it is so wonderful to hear that we are not the only family with Zombie Apocalypse Dinner Table Talk. You don't know how comforting that is!!!

Finally, if you think about us during the day, if you wouldn't mind saying a little prayer for us...? We are going through a bit of a crisis right now... I can see the other side of it, but man it's difficult getting there! We need prayer.

But who doesn't?