Two things before I dive into part two of the Vacay.

First. Good news.

My book sales doubled in June from what I had been selling in April and May!!!!!

That is SO thrilling for me!

Ok, don't think they are serious sales or anything. I mean, it wasn't like I went from 50,000 to 100,000.

Oh. No.

But still. No matter how small the number, doubling is ALWAYS good, right????

I think so.

I am pretty excited.

Plus the second book in the series is nearly completed. There are a mere fifteen chapters to write.

That's it.

It might sound like a lot to you, but since I've already written 145 pages of material to date, like 60 more pages is hardly something to be nervous about.

And, the great thing about these chapters is that I have them mapped out. A pathway to the end.

I know exactly where I'm going.

And truthfully, I don't always know where I'm going. So hip hip hooray for that!

Second thing.

And this is bad.

This is the bad news.

We came home from vacation and yesterday.... I discovered.... Oh, I don't even want to tell you. It's awful.

Yesterday, in my pot-holder/saranwrap/foil/ziploc-drawer.... I found.... little.... worms.

Like tiny, black little worms.

UGH! How terrible is that?????

And you know me, I freaked out. Like. Freaked. Out. And I've had the heebie geebies ever since.

But I said to myself. THIS is why I got married. And so I waited for Zach to get home because I'm a coward and had imagined all kinds of terrible in my mind, like I giant cocoon of worms just waiting for a naive human to investigate so they can pull me into their hive and eat me.

You know. Rational stuff like that.

Zach came home last night and I quickly ushered him to the drawer. (I should also say by the end of the day I had really only seen a total of like five little wormie things and I did wash them all down the drain. Down. Down. Down. Down into the drain.)

But he looks at him and in like this amused, casual voice, almost like he thought they were cute, goes, "Oh, they're just little inch worms. They are just going to be like tiny caterpillars. What you need to do is just wash everything in this drawer tomorrow, that will take care of them."

I'm like, whew. Ok, obviously Zach is not scared of them. He doesn't think they are coming from a portal to the underworld. They are harmless. I can pick up all of the towels, not with my bare hands, but probably with like tongs or something. I can get them into a laundry basket, run them, literally run them downstairs, and dump them into a washing machine. I can do that.

Problem solved.

Until Zach picks up a potholder and says, "Oh see, look, (And he points to a spot on the holder) that's the egg, they have been hatching in here while we were gone."

And I'm done.

Don't tell me eggs have been hatching in my potholder drawer!!!!! What are you thinking!!!!!

Now I'm just afraid.

Damn the country!!! I never had issues like this in the city.

I know you all have the heebs now, but it's so gross. I can't even look at my kitchen, let alone take it seriously. How could it betray me like that????

And now more than ever I have to deal with the whole situation. Which makes my skin crawl. I should probably have the girls record the performance and then upload it to YouTube. There might be a Web Redemption in it....

I'm not going to look like a sane, functioning person. I can promise you that.

Ok. So Vacation Number Two.

After we drove the entire way back from Rugby on Sunday, we unloaded the car and got to work.

Literally.

It was 6PM Sunday night and Zach ran over to work, he had some stuff to do. And I unpacked everything and started all of the laundry.

Because.

Monday morning we would be leaving for the cabins to meet Zach's family and Zach needed some underwear.

I also had to unpack the children, just to repack them again.

Well, everything was cleaned and folded and packed by eleven that night, and we were off to bed, ready for the big trip in the morning.

And leave in the morning we did.

We got the entire car packed, with kids and a tuxedo ready to return and everything but two cell phone chargers we wouldn't know were missing for several hours yet and we were on our way.

The cabins are exactly what they sound like, Cabins in the middle of Ponca State Park, which is about two hours away from Omaha and this very pretty-ish forest-y area off of the Missouri River.

Only up from the Missouri.

Like. Way up.

And not effected by the flooding.... Yet....

Here is a picture of them.


It was a wonderful trip. Because there was nothing to do except relax. And relax I did.

Well and feed a supernaturally hungry baby, but that's a different story.

My cell phone died the first day, which didn't feel very awesome but turned out to be amazingly freeing.

As I said earlier, Zach and I both forgot our chargers and so we were literally back to the elements of just family and fun.

We cooked all of our meals over the fire, even breakfast. We all ate around the same table and played games and roasted marshmallows, we swam one afternoon, I took the girls on a hike, Zach did a lot of manly things, like build fires, and tend to fires, and cook steaks, and cut down branches for wood, and I don't know, do all the stuff that men do once in the woods.

And my girls turned into these children I hardly recognized, that were killing bugs with their bare feet, hiking for full hours, both of them, walking the entire time, climbing things bravely, running around and just all in all having more courage than they do at home.

It was seriously, just the most wonderful time.

There was also a lot of bug spray, citronella candles, and lots and lots of showers to wash off all of the different out-doorsy smells and look for ticks.

I was very concerned about ticks.

The first night in the cabin. Stella wanted her daddy to brush her hair. Apparently she thought he would do a better job, but really he just kept saying, "How do you do this? I don't know what I'm doing. She has SO much hair!!" Haha.


Scarly Jo is just happy to be on Vacay.


Aren't they the cutest girls?


Another fun part of our adventure was the Bunk Beds. Stella slept on the top bunk for the first time in her life. And wasn't afraid....!!!!! And Scarlett slept on the bottom bunk which is NOT a crib, which she had never done before!

Although, Scar totally fell out of bed the second night.... But for the most part, she did ok! Lol.

Our next project is Bunk Beds. My friend Lindsay's husband Jason, just built THE most amazing bunk beds ever. Like seriously ever. It's a castle bed and I keep trying to get Zach to build me one by telling him I think he can do anything, even if he's never tried to build a bed before. So far... He's not having it.



That's Scarlett's new smile. I don't know what she is doing.

This is me the First day we were there. I am totally Camping Chic. Just wait until the last day photo.

Oh boy.


Oh. Here's Stryker. I need a picture of him too! He was pretty much confined to the Bumbo since I couldn't very well let him crawl around in the dirt and mud.


He's the most handsome. Isn't he?

Ok. So the second day we hung out at this little rock place they had. The girls loved it.

And it made for some pretty great pictures.


Stryker was sleeping off his Milk Hangover in the car. What a bum.

Zach. Man, does he love to have his picture taken.


Too bad buddy!! I'm making memories!!!!!

That's what I say to him. :)


Stella was determined to climb this rock, but.... she settled for a photo op instead!


After we spent the morning here, we ran into town and to the local Ponca grocery store.

Can I just say that I think grocery prices are outrageous in Omaha. They are! And after all of the flooding that is literally raping the crops all throughout the Midwest, they are only going to get worse.

Wait till the dollar crashes.

Then we will be in serious trouble.

:) Jk. Although, I've been meaning to warn you, I might have one or two socio-economical rants with the upcoming Presidential election on the horizon.... Just an FYI.

Where was I?

Oh. The grocery prices in Ponca made me physically ill. They wanted me to pay $4.50 for a half gallon of orange juice!!!!! Are you kidding me?

So, I did what any loving, caring, frugal parent would do. I bought Sunny D.

And then felt like I was giving my children cancer....

Oh.

And. Let's talk about $6.00 for bacon. Like, Hormel Bacon. Not the fresh slab stuff.

Again, I had to make a choice.

And that choice was Corned Beef and Hash out of a can.

Sorry Saladmaster, I can't make those choices when prices are so exorbitant!

These are the men in my life.

Gorgeous.


I am in love with this life.


Although notice the steady decline in appearance... Folks. It's going to get worse!

On our way to the pool.

These are my favorite beach bodies!!



Stryker decided to stay up to all hours of the night and so Zach and I only had a few options to entertain ourselves.

That meant War.

The card game War.

We used to play Speed, but I won too often for Zach to have any fun.... :)

And we also used to play Gin, but neither one of us could remember what it was like before we had kids and actually had excess time to play things like card games.


Zach has what I like to call.... Bedroom Eyes. Aren't they dreamy? :)

Stryker just thinks he's the best.


Grill Master Zach, whipping up some delish breakfast.


Even in the woods, sometimes you just gotta unwind.


Even Stryky Mikey. Although at least He was a little more careful not to ruin his eye sight!!


Ok. It was a fantastic vacation. But eventually it had to end.

This is the way home.

Can you tell my girls are a little bit tired?


Or me?

Don't forget I warned you it would be bad.

Also, I wish I cared about your feelings because I wouldn't even show this picture. But I'm kind of morbidly obsessed with how awful I look and the tragic effects the wilderness had on my hair....


I would show you the picture of Zach but he would kill me. I had to mostly load them on the el bloggo because he doesn't want them on Facebook and he doesn't read the blog!

Hahaha.

So anyways. That was our trip. And I loved it.

But now, I need a vacation from my vacation. For reals.

Because I am having a seriously hard time recovering.

But in conclusion... It turns out that a cabin in the middle of the woods with primitive conditions and an open fire is really not all that different than how Zach and I live on a daily basis.

There is always a lot of grilling. A lot of dirt. A lot of bugs. And a lot of fun out on the old farm.

Now if I can just find the courage to deal with the hatchery happening in the kitchen.

Fun fact. Every time I think about it, I physically shiver and gag.

Oh my.