Hostess With The Mostess

Well. The house is quiet now.

It wasn't like ten minutes ago.

But now it's all cool, calm and collected.

First, let me just tell you how my day has gone and how this is the first moment I've had to relax. And thankfully, my little family is obliging me.

Well, first of all, let me say this. Last night, I had a total relapse of hives. Yes. It was awful. I had been un-swelling over the last few days and feeling pretty good. Ok. Not good. But Better. Better-ish.... Ok. Not worse. BUT then, I don't know what happened, (Ahem, probably the laundry....) and suddenly I was all Macaulay Culkin at the end of My Girl.

Is that a joke in poor taste?

Well. Whatever. Because that is totally how I looked. Red. Blotchy. All Hive-y. Swollen. Miserable.

I swear I don't have Hives, but a Biblical Plague Version of Adult Chicken Pox. And I've already had the Chicken Pox!

Like seriously. Who has hives for a week?

Like bad hives? Like Hell-Hound-Dog-Hives???

Not HIV Miriah!

HivEs!!! :)

Anyways, so I made sure to take my steroids, which in turn makes me all crazy and hyper. Which feels amazing.

This must have been what I felt like before kids.

I have energy. I have spunk. I have a little bit more crazy than usual, but its nothing I can't handle.

Maybe for Zach it's a little much.

But, aside for the little bit too much of a scatter-brain thing, I could get used to this energy.

Um, did I just admit to planning on getting addicted to prescription drugs?

Oh my.

Don't worry, there is nothing founded. I have a serious issue with the Drug Companies, not to mention an irrational fear of our world ending in the whole I Am Legend fiasco thanks to some cancer cure or fabulous new anti-depressant.

I wish I could say that I was joking.

Believe me.

So where was I?

Oh. So Last night, Zach and the kids had all gone to bed, since, well the kids have a bedtime and we are in the season where Friday night is just another work night for the Money Maker.

So they were asleep.

And I was not.

It was like midnight and all that was running through my mind was my To Do list and a night-time trip to Wal-Mart. And how I was ever going to make through today with this disease.

It's debilitating....

I never made it to Wal-Mart last night.

I didn't feel safe to drive. Well, ok, me driving at night is always a little on the iffy side.

BUT. The Anti-histamine I'm on makes me seriously dizzy and so. Me+Suicidal-Deer+No-Street-Lights+My-Head-A-Spinning = A very, very bad idea.

In hindsight. That might be a rather confusing equation. Just note, that those aren't minus signs but in fact dashes, tying one whole thought together....


Eventually I made it to bed. Tossed and turned and itched for what felt like the whole night. Stryker, also affected by the steroids, was also awake most of the night, but 6:30 AM rolled around this Saturday morning and we were both up ready and rearing to go.

Which was crazy for me.

But a good thing.

I had a mile long To Do list that included actual events.

So. I got the girls up. Not the other way around today. And fixed them breakfast. Got Stryker and myself ready as well as those two little buttons, packed a cooler and had everyone out the door and to Wal-Mart before 8:15 AM.

That's unheard of.

I couldn't even get Stella to pre-school on time this year and even though it started at that exact same time, I was never. Never. EVER. Dressed, let alone, hair done, make-up done and jewelry!

Plus the other kids too.

My plan was to actually do Wal-Mart, then a garage sale at a friend's house and then make it to my Sister-In-Law's graduation ceremony early.

But thanks to the couple in front of me Price-Matching and then my own list of adds and coupons, Wal-Mart took a little longer than expected.

Ok. It shouldn't be unexpected! You should always expect twice to three times as long in line as you spend in that store. That's just the way things are. No use fighting it.

But I like to consider myself an optimist....


So Wal-Mart Check. Which by the way, people kept yelling at my kids. Driving me crazy.

The people, not my kids.

They were, in my opinion, actually being good. I don't think they must be used to kids that early in the morning because all of the employees were like, "Um, ma'am can you come get your child. She's going to get lost." Or. "Ma'am can you keep your kids away from the kiwis."

And I was all, yes I can keep my kids away from the kiwis, but I'm pricing peppers right now and don't want to.

If they touch one. I'll buy your 3 for $1.00 kiwi. Don't worry.

And to you ma'am, my kids know they will get lost if they wonder too far away. And they want to be lost as much as I want them to be. Which is not at all, in case you thought I was going in a different direction with that. And they will keep up with me.

But listen employees of Wal-Mart I am hyped up on Steroids and on a Mission, so if you would please back the way back away that would be greatly appreciated.


Also. If you really have a problem with kids. Than maybe. Just maybe. Get more carts that fit three children.

Oh. And don't put a damn toy in every freaking aisle.

Just saying.

Anyways. So. Wal-Mart was just like it usually is.

I made the executive decision to push the garage sale, although they had some dance leotards I was wanting to grab, but make it on time and even early to the graduation ceremony.

Which did not disappoint.

I got to watch my mom direct, which surprisingly brought a tear to my eye. The Choir sang Honored, Glorified, Exalted, a personal fave of mine from when I did my best to serenade, the ensemble sang In Christ Alone, which ok, I didn't sing it in choir, I just really, really love that song. Mr. Schmidt gave the address, and he was a favorite teacher of mine. Plus there was the slide show that just took me back to my very own, not so different graduation ceremony.

And then before you knew it, I was sitting there watching my children shove chocolate teddy grahams down them and crawl all over me and I was crying thinking that this would be them soon enough and I wouldn't have little rug rats anymore, I would have full blown high school graduates.

Maybe even graduating from that exact same church and more than likely wearing exactly similar cap and gowns.

My mom might even be still directing.

And Mr. Schmidt might still be giving the commencement address.

At least that's what I want for them.

Because it's really not about sending my kids to a Private School. Although, believe me that is a little part of it.

It's more about OCA as the institution of greatness it stands for. And knowing that will be the best education and life-preparation for them.

So. I am more determined in my letter writing campaign than ever. Because I've been told it's either private education or dance(Apparently they cost the same....) and I love my kids and for right now they love me, but they will NEVER understand sacrificing dance.

Not. Ever.

So after Graduation. We finally did make it to Kimbra's Garage Sale, where I picked out two new leotards. Although, I'm pretty sure Stella will be the only one in her competition class wearing a Leotard, they are so last year.... (Yes, last year when she was three.) But I can't help it if I'm not over the leotard and homemade tutu look.

I love me some poof.


And I found Zach this sweet pair of wooden chopsticks with a pointy end that actually might be able to grab stuff.

We are big Chopstick users. Like for even stuff that doesn't really require chopsticks, but it's so hard to find permanent ones without rounded edges. (Think those beige colored ones you find at Chinese buffets.)

The ones we had prior to this pair, were metal. And although they looked pretty sweet, and were also stolen from Reverse Happy Hour at Blue (Hey, if you are going to serve me sub-par sushi and charge me a mortgage payment for drinks just so I'll eat your left over raw fish, you've got something else coming! Just kidding. A friend stole them for me for my birthday.). But they are kind of bad at gripping things.

So. These ones should work.

One of my greatest joys in life is to find little special things for Zach at Garage Sales.

He has kind of eclectic taste and so usually I can come away with something that he will not only appreciate to add to his life some how, but he can also appreciate the cost.

Like three years ago, I was able to complete our glassware set. We had one Disney glass that he just absolutely loved. And I scored big time by finding exactly seven others. And I paid like five dollars for the whole set. She was even apologetic she was missing one.

Little did she know what I had waiting for me at home.

Last year, I found him a Star Wars Chess Set. And a special cold food container for his lunches.

This year chopsticks.

I'm awesome.

The best wife ever.

Seriously, the best wife ever because then as soon as I got home from that, I took care of the kids, unpacked the groceries (Oh, the cooler I had packed, was forethought for all of the meat and frozen veggies I knew would have to have sit in my car for hours before finding the cold again. I was so proud of myself for thinking ahead like that. Pretty much the Bomb-Dot-Com.)

Any Soup watchers?

And then I slaved away in the kitchen for hours while he had his guy friends over for the biggest soccer game of the season.

JK. I like to cook for those events.

And since it was an all guy's party after the only other wife in the mix came up sick, it was truly an all guy's menu.

First of all, our refrigerator has an insane amount of beer left over after everyone left without taking anything home with them. Not to mention a six pack of Smirnoff Ice that someone didn't want in their house anymore, like three beer bottles with the Dharma Initiative logo some computer nerd printed off his computer and re-labled all his Blue Moons and an Entire Two Gallon Pitcher of Long Island Iced Teas I had made for me and the other wife who got sick....

Stop on over if you've got any troubles by the way. We're apparently in need of a liquor license, but I don't mind serving....

Ok, so when I have girly events I'm all about serving a variety and that usually means my Fantastic Four. Two dip things, like Fruit Salsa and Guacamole. A dessert, my faves are usually trifles, because they just look so darn pretty and round it out with something baked, like Artichoke Dip or Jalapeno Bites.

But they are usually light little apps and I always, always have something fruity.

But for guys?

My menu today included Big Fat Juicy Bacon Burger Sliders and Meat Pies. The traditional ones from England, like they would serve in a Football Stadium had you been watching the game over there.

And I had asked the other wife to bring a chip dip. But in my head it was the classic, Velveeta+Salsa+Hamburger.

So nothing light. Nothing healthy.

And all like meat dishes.

But that's I guess what they want.

They probably wouldn't have even had the fruit I bought for a fruit salad anyways, had I set it out, instead of deciding to save it for dinner.

Just like they didn't drink the Long Islands.

Oh well. That entire pitcher will just have to help me get through the rest of this f-ing epidemic of hives.

And now that the kitchen's clean, I am realizing I have to get right back in there to make my potato salad for the grad party tomorrow!

Oh. I wish you guys could have known me BEFORE I had "My Potato Salad." Or. Even ever had ambition to attempt to make a Traditional English Meat Pie. Or even care if I ever knew what one was....

When did I become so domesticated?

And when did I stop hating the idea?

Was it before or after the husband, three kids, days filled with dance and pre-school and price-matching at Wal-Mart?

Last question.

Could that have been a longer blog on the way to the middle of nowhere or what?

Hope you weren't expecting anything exciting....


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