Ok Blogging World. It's been a while.

I wish I could say I was just so busy that I haven't had time. But truthfully, I haven't been more busy than normal. The problem hasn't been lack of time, it's been lack of brain.

My mind has been blank. Like seriously, scary blank.

I'm a little worried about it.

I mean, I can carry a conversation. I can think of things. I can still make jokes. But let me tell you, most the time it's like I'm sitting in idle.

Zach even said to me yesterday that since he hasn't been able to talk(Friday night, he had a terrible tooth infection and wasn't able to fix it until yesterday. So needless to say he has been more than silent the last few days with a swollen face and terrible toothache. That's a whole different blog....) I haven't initiated conversation at all. He was totally worried about me!

So what is going on?

I'll tell you what is going on. I have two little girls that talk my ear off all day long and then a three month old baby boy who doesn't even pretend to sleep through the night.

Like. He's up every two hours still.

I can't do it.

Well, I can do it and I've been doing it, but this afternoon, I am exhausted and without makeup and look ugly and my brain feels fried and I feel like I can't do it.

The scariest part of all of this, is that Stryker has started to coo. And he coos and coos and coos and makes the sweetest sounds and is pretty much the most adorable baby alive.

But he never stops making noise.

Ever.

And instead of appreciating how precious his little conversations are, the only thing I can think of, is "What if he doesn't ever stop making noise? What if he is just as talkative as the girls? What if he follows my every footstep around like they do, constantly engaging me in conversation at length about every subject under the sun?"

He is a boy. He is supposed to be my strong but silent type. He might not talk as soon as the girls did, or have the wide ranging vocabulary they do, but I could say, "Oh well, he's a third born and has his sisters to talk for him." Or, "He's a boy, I don't think they generally talk as much as girls do."

And I would be proud to say those things!

But I don't think that's the case with this one.

And let me tell you what is going to happen if he turns out to be the conversationalist I am afraid he will be: I am going to Lose. My. Mind.

I say that with all the love and hope and dreams I have for him stored away in my heart, because crazy or not, I want him to be the smartest, most successful man alive. Like my wise friend Miriah says, We should want our children to be Excellent, not average, not normal, but excellent. (Yes, girl I do pay attention and I loved that!!!! Genius!!)

But seriously, while he's on his journey to success, I will be on my journey to the nut house.

And if I have to sacrifice my sanity in order for my kids to excel, well so be it, but just don't expect much when you meet me on the street. Or at dance. Or at soccer games. Or at preschool. Or on Facebook. Or at home, in my sweats, without any makeup on, spit up all over my shirt and my hair literally the size of a basketball, slowly become a wildlife preserve.

Which might have happened today.

Last night, I kept thinking to myself, "Man, I really feel like I have something on Tuesday but I can't think of what it is. But gosh, it really feels like I have something important going on."

With that, I went to bed.

This morning, I woke up to three very, very, very tired children, laundry piled to the ceiling (Not an exaggeration.), a semi-messy kitchen and a rainy, gloomy day.

So I thought to myself, I'm not going to worry about anything yet. I'll fold the clothes this afternoon during rest time, I'll let the kids run around in their pajamas, not worry about brushing their hair and have a movie day with them. They are exhausted from a busy weekend and a late night Monday night and there is absolutely nothing going on, so why not?

I joined them in every way. I stayed in pajamas, ok, worse than pajamas, my Barney Pants, as Zach calls them, they are Barney the Dinosaur purple and don't match any single thing I own, including the shirt I am wearing today, my hair was a gigantic(I literally mean gigantic) mess and forget about my makeup.

It was supposed to be an Ugly Day and I was going to enjoy it.

Until 9:30.

The doorbell rang twice.

Oh, I should say at this point, Stella had actually dressed herself into an outfit almost as bad as mine, with hair equally as terrible and Scarlett was attempting to potty train, so she was in actually nothing, like stark naked, and her hair likewise hadn't been brushed or dealt with.

Stryker, thank God, was in something presentable.

So the doorbell rings, I think, Who could that be?

I stand up, look out the window.

Crap.

Suddenly the realization of why Tuesday was so important dawns on me and I have to pull myself together enough to go open the door for my cousins who were dropping by to visit Stryker for the first time.



No, I mean, my dad's first cousins, who's kids are grown with grown kids of their own. My refined, wealthier proper cousins.

Oy.

I nearly passed out.

So in the most polite, but still very, very rude way that I save special for my friends and my friends only because they understand and have kids of their own, I left the door wide open, ran up the stairs, grabbed Scarlett and threw her down on the changing table. I grabbed the closest outfit, and wrestled her down so that I could get it on her in three seconds or less, while she's screaming at me that she can do it herself. I doused her hair in No Tangle Spray, raked a brush through it and sent her through the door to entertain our guests, while I nonchalantly passed by the bathroom mirror, praying my hair was under control and my face that had yet to be washed this morning wasn't completely in disrepair. I said, Stella you're on your own honey and greeted them with the happiest of smiles.

Ok, all that being said. I had a wonderful visit. I turned what little Brain Juice I had on and seriously had a great time catching up with them and talking for a few hours.

My kids did not.

They were out of control.

You know how there are certain people your children need to have good manners around? Like, not just because you hope your kids will be good around everybody but because they have got to be good, you don't know what you're going to do if they're not?

Um, yeah. That's how it was for me today.

And the opposite happened.

My children could have been worse. Yes, I know that. But they also could have been a WHOLE LOT Better.

Let me give you some examples.

While I am nursing Stryker. (That's a story in itself. Since I forgot they were coming over, I totally hadn't prepared a bottle, or nursed him anywhere close to their arrival time, and I thought that once he got hungry, because they had actually been here for a while, they might leave, but they didn't and I held him off as long as I could, but then he was screaming and I had no choice but to nurse him in front of them and I have never been more self-concious about it in my life. It was kind of awful.) Anyways, while I'm going through this debacle, Stella and Scarlett keep walking over to me, going, "Where's Stryker? Where's Stryker?" at totally different times, so that I'm always dealing with one of them and they are trying to lift my blanket up to see him, aka expose me!!!!, and behaving like they had never seen their brother eat before! The girls thought it was this hilarious game and I was literally dying, trying not to break down into hysterical laughter at the absurdity of what was going on and trying not to cry from humiliation at the same time.

Omg.

Ok, or here is another example. While I was showing my cousin the backyard and all the fields and what not, Stella and Scarlett had climbed up into our window seat to look with us. In the middle of our conversation, I look over at Stella who is licking, yes licking!!!! the window from top to bottom!!!!

I don't know what she was doing! But I about died!

So I tell her to stop. And she listened the first time and I was so proud. So I walked over to grab a towel to dry the window off and I turn around and she is drawing in her own spit with her finger!!!

Can I just tell you I about choked!

What was she doing? Ew. It was SO gross!

I have never seen her do anything like that! Apparently she saves the good stuff for when we have company.

Don't think badly of my cousins, they completely understand children and I am sure were not offended at all. They are the most wonderful people! Besides if they had anything to be offended over it would be the fact that I was having an ugly day when I should have been expecting them with drinks and little like tea sandwiches.

They really are the sweetest people.

But when I say I am having "Company" over, those are the type of people I mean. People who I hope to impress. Not scare off with my appearance and children who draw in their own spit, after I've flashed them in my dirty house.

And after they left, I realized I hadn't even offered them something to drink!!

See? My mind is an empty page.

Blank.

I'm losing it.

So, please, still come visit us. But don't be offended by our clothes, our appearance, the state of my house, the state of my mind and you'll probably want to bring your own beverages......