Oh my word. I realize that its been a while since I've blogged. Like a long while.

And so much has happened in the in-between parts.

My little baby boy is smiling! It is the most precious thing I have ever seen. Plus he's huge. Like a little monster kind of huge.

Definitely the biggest baby I've had at this point.

The girls started out big, but than plateaued into tiny little things.

He started small and well, he won't stop eating, so now he's huge!

Also, they say you can't spoil a baby before six months. I've always believed that until this one.

My little Stryker man won't sleep unless I'm holding him! It's awful. At first, I didn't realize what was happening, I just thought he wanted to eat ALL of the time. Even through the night.

But last night, something awful happened. He woke up to eat around 10:30 and at this point I was literally dying to go to bed. Forget the fact that it was only Monday and my body still thought it was 9:30 and that didn't even matter, I was still exhausted.

So I fed him. And he fell asleep so sweetly in my arms. I held him just an extra bit longer, it was the sweetest thing.

And then I laid him down.

And then he woke up.

So, I fed him a little bit more, thinking he just fell asleep too quickly, and he ate a little bit more, and then fell asleep.

So I laid him down again.

And then he woke up again.

I am near tears at this point, just because I was so tired. He stopped being so darn sweet and I started getting whiny, it wasn't a pretty picture of me.

Zach says, well maybe he just wants to be next to you. Lay down with him in bed.

Something I am usually very opposed to while Zach is in the bed with me. He has no baby awareness and it terrifies me. But last night it helped that he was awake when I brought the baby to bed and didn't have to wake him from a dead sleep to try to explain the situation.

The point is, that's all it took. He just laid next to me and was out.

And I'm thinking, you have got to be kidding me!

So 3 AM rolls around and he eats and then falls fast asleep again. And I think, ok, this is perfect, he's out for sure now, I'll just lay him down.

It lasted for like five minutes before he woke up again and wanted back in bed with us.

He's two months old!!!! He is wayyyyy too young to be bossing me around! Right?

I mean, I guess not. Obviously the kid loves his mother, but yikes, I need my sleep too!!!!

Seriously, I need my sleep. And not just half sleep, I need to be able to sleep on my stomach and get some serious REM otherwise I think my brain is going to slip in to a Stupid Coma. Not like, oh coma's are so stupid. But like, I am officially stupid, dumb, slower than the rest of the population, below average, couldn't get into a good college if I wanted to kind of stupid.

It's not pretty.

Nor am I pretty.

And this is coming from a girl who has more than enough confidence. More confidence than a girl should have.

Let me refer you back to the Salt and Pepper mop I call my hair. Or my jagged Freddy Krueger nails. Or my toenails that are threatening to poke holes in my shoes..... I don't even want to talk about my eyebrows. But literally, if they start popping out greys I will have a mental and emotional breakdown.

I'm not joking.

You have been warned.

Oh other things that have happened since I've blogged last. I finally got to see Miriah! And we had the best time. She is the sweetest thing! And Stella loved Lulu SO much she calls her, her Sister Best Friend. Which, I think in little kid lingo, that's about as high as it gets!

Our jeep broke down. That's another thing. Hopefully its an easy fix! Once you get used to two cars, its hard to go back, even for a few days. Although, believe me, We have had our share of going back. And going back. And going back.

And there are SO many other things that have happened! Well, you know me, I can fill up 100's of blog paragraphs with the most menial of things.

Like, how I watched the Joan Rivers documentary and cried. Yes, I cried. And Zach says, (Because he got sucked in too) are you crying? And I say, no! What? My eyes are watering. Geesh. Like I would cry!

Yes, yes I would cry! I would ball like a baby!

I've said before that I just LOVE Joan Rivers. I think she is wonderful. And funny. And despite her sometimes dirty humor, she is really morally centered. But what I've found out from her documentary is that she has had a really hard life. And Johnny Carson kind of turned out to be a douche in the end. And she stuck by her man. And then he killed himself.

Oh my gosh. I'll cry right now. So I better move on.

I didn't even mean to go into that! Yikes.

What I have been meaning to tell you this whole time, is WHY I haven't blogged!

Because it's a really, really, really exciting reason. Like, Super exciting.

Well, at least for me.

And no, I'm not pregnant again. It's too soon!

So, you know I've written a book. Well, actually I've written a couple. But there was only one good one. And, by good, I mean, I think its really, really good. It's my baby. My fourth child. And I have been just working frantically on it. Editing, and Editing and Editing. I sent it out to several people. I got feed back. I edited some more. I sat down with a graphic designer and she made a cover for it. She went in a completely different direction than we talked about, but in the end I think it really, really works. I'm kind of obsessed with it, but also I've never seen my name on a book cover before, so that helps with the adoration.

I edited some more.

And then I came up with the final version. And I think its perfect. Or as close to perfect as I can get.

The thing is, this is just a side note... Nobody has read the fully finished version. Like out of all of the people I've sent it too, my sister in law Kylee was the only one who got the latest version, only she had two versions and read the older one and not the latest one, so she didn't get to read the final version. But since she loved the old one, I thought, hey the new one has to be even better than that, right?

That was just thinking out loud. Sorry.

And I should clarify by versions, I mean, I went back and cleaned it up, like grammatical errors and tense errors and all that. They aren't entirely different stories.

But anyways. So last night, she came over. Kylee that is. We worked on the description of the book, like the book jacket description. We decided the series title I came up with is a good one. And then I published it!

Yes, I did. I published it on Kindle.

That is really exciting for me! Like a highlight of my life. Births of my children, Wedding Day, Arrival in Europe, and Publishing my Book on Kindle. That's how it goes. Its under review right now, they have to make sure I'm not pushing like Nazi Propaganda or anything, but since I'm not, it should be for sale later this evening!!!!!

Oh my word, I am just SO excited! And kind of sick with fear. Like, shaking and crying randomly and practically vomiting, but also just REALLY excited!!!!

I didn't know how I felt about it for a very long time. I actually felt like I was giving up. I couldn't get published by an actual publishing house or find an agent to represent me and so to do it myself felt like failure.

But I don't feel that way anymore.

It's hard to get published. It's hard to find someone to believe in your project without connections in the industry!

Truthfully, I had never tried with this best version, I had already just decided to go with Kindle and see where that goes.

Maybe no where. That would be fine. Really it would be.

Writing isn't something I can control. It's part of who I am. And I will write stories probably until the day I die.

But for a finished book to be out there in a market place for people to buy, the best version of itself, really is something that I'm proud of!

And since the sequel is already 1/3 of the way written, it will also make its way on there in August.

Ugh. So I hadn't blogged because I had given myself yesterday as the deadline. I was just dragging my feet with it and then I was waiting for the cover art and then I was just nervous. I almost puked like three times yesterday, not to mention the waves of panicked hysteria!

Anyways, I met my deadline yesterday at 10PM, but I met it. Whoo Hoo. And in the process, I gave myself a second deadline to be ready with the second book by August.

That seems nearly impossible, I'm not going to lie. Since I'm not really a paid writer, its hard to prioritize it, plus, the book is not even written yet, not to mention edited over and over again.

This book took me two years to get right! Like four months to write it, and then the rest of the time to edit it, have others edit it, come up with cover art and then finally find the balls to put it online.

I have less than six months to do that with this one at the same time of putting it low on my priority list, you know after husband, kids, house, and dance. Holy Smokes.

Oh my.

Anyways, the story is really good and I think the whole world will love it (Ok, maybe an exaggeration.....). And now I'm going to tell you how to buy it!

It's called: Reckless, by Rachel Higginson. It's part of The Star-Crossed Series.

It's selling for $3.99. So definitely affordable.... :)

You can buy it if you own a Kindle, or anyone can buy it straight from the Amazon.com store on your computer. Even if you have an Iphone, or an Ipad, or any phone with an App Store, you can download the Kindle App for FREE and then purchase it off of your App! See how easy that is!

Seriously, its a good story. If you read Twilight and liked it, it's in the same genre as that, only no vampires.

If you are an adult male, sorry, the books not really written for you...... Although I did have our very good friend Nate read it, and he thought it was good, not written for him, but good. And I hold his opinion in the highest esteem. So maybe you will like it! :)

Also, I would just like to say, to my friends, there is NO obligation to buy it! Oh gosh, I think about all of my dear friends and if you don't want to read it, heck, don't. It won't bother me. I promise you that. In fact, it might make it easier for me to look you in the eye!!! Lol...

On the other hand, if you are my family, yes, there is absolutely an obligation to buy it!!!!!

Seriously.

Haha, just kidding!

So. Whew. That felt good to announce that. Last night, I realized that when most authors publish their first book, they have like a Book Release Party. Authors who publish the traditional way anyways. When Zach got home from bowling last night, he was like, shouldn't we have Champagne or something? And I was like no. These leftovers and the last episode of The Soup we need to catch up on will do just fine! Haha.

Anyways....

Look for it tonight!!!!! Reckless, by Rachel Higginson