Oh there is so much to say.

Seriously, its been a while. And I feel like a lot has happened.

Really, not much has. But we've been busy. Busy just getting through a rough week.

Although, now that we are on the other side of it, I'm not as grumpy or verbal as I was a few days ago.

Plus we got through Competition. That was my biggest accomplishment of the week! Actually, out of all of the things I tried to accomplish that was the only one I was capable of following through on.

So hip hip hooray for that.

Although, I didn't have much of a choice.

Ok, so the day wasn't as crazy as I thought it would be. I expected to have to be up at four in the morning spray tanning Stella and fashioning a flipper out of like poached Elephant ivory.

Haha. Just kidding.

But she didn't end up competing until noon and so the morning was no earlier than normal. And since we use fake hair, there isn't really any hair prep at all. It makes my morning WAY easier.

Ok, but I need to say this. I have never felt more GREEN going into anything else in my life as I did walking in to Competition and having to take advice from an experienced 8 year old because she knew more about that sort of thing than I did!

My head was spinning, I was all crazy eyed and Faith took me by the arm and assured me everything would be ok. That's her name. Not the actual subject of Faith. Although believe me, I needed plenty of that. And then later her older sister Grace was the one to inform me we probably needed to stick around for awards, while I was trying to book it out of their like a bat out of hell. So all in all Faith and Grace were my saviors yesterday. Both literally and the 8 and 9 year old versions.

It was a learning experience to say the least.

I mean, I'm pretty sure you could spot me as the "mom who had absolutely no idea what was going on and desperately needed a Xanax," from a mile away.

Stella of course was totally in her element.

I've never been one to promote the use of prescription drugs, I'm not a big fan of the drug companies in general, but yesterday is the perfect market for those things!

And no one needed one more than I did.

Ok, that's a lie. Zach needed one more than I did!

Poor guy.

He walked in the door and the first thing he said to me was, "Um, I don't know about this...."

And I said, "It's only going to get worse."

But he made it through the day and couldn't have been prouder of his little girl. Nor could he have tried to make the day more special for her. He really does get in to it for her sake at least.

And really, the only reason I'm giving him priority on the Xanax over me, is not for any other reason than he had to deal with Scarlett while I was with Stella. She was an absolute basket case after she realized she would not be performing on stage.

Oy.

It's good to know that I will have two little divas running around soon enough.

Anyways, one thing was solidified in my mind. The girls go to an A-mazing studio. They pretty much won every single category. And the girls really are the best and most technically stunning.

But man there are some crazy people at those things. Like Crazy Stage Moms Crazy.

Which of course, I am not. Ahem. I'm not. No matter what you've heard, I'm not!

Who am I trying to convince here?

Ok, but seriously, Like during The Awards, there was this mom, I of course sat next to, and she was crazy. Certifiably. Crazy.

She was from another studio, so she was also our competition. I guess. That's really the only part of this whole thing I can actually understand. The competitive part. I speak that language.

Anyways, so every time her company got anything she was like half out of her chair screaming at the top of her lungs and clapping her hands like a madman. Or Mad-Woman in her case.

Which is fine.

But. What is not fine, is that whenever our girls would win anything she would make fun of them. So the announcer would ask the girls who choreographed it for them or whatever and our girls would always say, "Joey Dabbs."

Ok, then this mom would mock them and chant over and over, "Joey Dabbs, Joey Dabbs." Like a parrot.

It was weird. Which, if I hadn't been doing my best to keep Stryker quiet and happy without ripping off my top in the middle of the auditorium, I would have said something...

Maybe.

Probably not. I'm not ready to be confrontational at a dance competition just yet. I'll save that behavior for Chuck E. Cheese.

And then the announcer said something about one of the choreographers helping out with the Superbowl half time show right now, and she like half shouted, "No he's not," and then turned to her friend and started in on some explanation like they were best friends.

Maybe they are.

Who knows.

I was disturbed.

But probably because I saw my future in her. Her, with her mom haircut and mom jeans, her ten dollar program and company t-shirt totally bedazzled and the pen in her right hand marking down all of the points and first place awards they would be taking home, clapping wildly and hooting and hollering.

That's me.

Or my future.

Or not.

Hopefully Zach will keep me grounded. Or divorce me....

I kind of feel like those are my two options....

So anyways, next time I will be more relaxed and Stella and I can watch more of the dances instead of hiding back stage afraid we will miss her dance. And next time, I will know to leave Stella in her costume until at least after Awards, instead of changing her right away thinking we could leave the dang thing and have time for lunch and shopping downtown. Next time I will know to just spend the money on the program so I know what's going on and also have a keepsake of her first year in competition. Next time I will know that even if I bring a bottle for Stryker, I still should probably make time to nurse the child for my sake. Oh my word, for my sake. And next time I will know, ok maybe not like text book know, but have a better idea of what the difference is between a Diamond first place and just regular old first place.

Next time, I will be armed with a flask full of Grey Goose and a bottle full of Xanax, a cuter roller suit case, and most importantly the feeling that we've been through this before and survived so the rest be damned, we'll make it through this one too!

But the girls got Fifth Place Overall. And that, apparently.... is a big deal!