Don't Spill The Milk

That's what I just yelled at my girls.

Before they both simultaneously, yes you guessed it, spilled their milk.

(It's also the name of a book I read during college that talks about the evils of cows milk and why it is completely unnecessary for humans to consume it. It wasn't a Grace sanctioned book, just one I picked up for leisure. It talked about how cows milk is responsible for all kinds of diseases, including things like autism and leukemia, also their are plenty of other sources of calcium out there. Think about it though, we are the only species on the planet that drinks another animals milk intended specifically for their young. It is weird. Of course we are also the only species on earth with Opposable thumbs and souls, I mean I get that we're different. But the books' premise was that cows milk was actually a propaganda campaign by the government to help dairy farmers shortly after World War II. If that sounds crazy to you, also know that Bacon used to be served only for supper, until Pig Farmers were hurting, and then suddenly Bacon was being marketed as breakfast food. And you thought you just liked it.....)

Anyways, back to the point!

The left overs of cereal already eaten were tipped over one and then the other as if planned in some sort of synchronized event to see their mother freak out.

As it turns out, its futile to try and stop a bowl of cereal remains you are watching land on the ground from across the table.

I don't think I could have actually caught either two bowls no matter what time of the day it was, but this early hour doesn't help my reflexes. I'm only half way through a cup of coffee and my eyes haven't even fully opened yet.

Or I should say hadn't fully opened.

Now we are wide awake.

I guess there really is no use crying over spilled milk.

Do you like all of my cliches?

Thank God for Pitch Men who get beat up by hookers and Sham-Wows.

And for a love of all things Infomercials!

Some game last night, huh?

Who am I kidding? I'm not a sports fan. In fact, Zach and I decided I'm not a fan of anything. At all.

Is that depressing? I haven't decided.

But its true, whatever it is. I just am not that person that really cares. Or gets excited over things I can't control. Or has time to put into players I don't know and franchises I'm convinced are only concerned about profits and sales.

But even before I had reasons not to care, I didn't. Like growing up, I never took an interest in any one thing. I don't even have that all time favorite band.

Ok, that's not entirely true, it would definitely be The Cranberries, but its not like I could sit down and list fact after fact about them!

I don't even know the lead singers first name.

Well.... Ask me in a couple hours, I just can't remember it right now.

So anyways, there's a point in here somewhere.

Oh, I mean I suppose I'm a Husker Fan, but its more like I'm a Husker Fan by marriage and he's the real fan, I just like to throw a party.

Which we didn't even do yesterday. We were still recovering from our day of Competition before!

I did make Zach his favorite foods though. Including Artichoke Dip because he always complains it gets eaten at parties and he never gets any.

Ok, so anyways, the point is, that if I had to support any team. I mean any team. Other than the Huskers. It would be the Packers. And not just because they won, but because my Mom is from Wisconsin and her whole family still lives there and are all Packers Fans. All of them!

So what I guess that makes me, is not really a Fair Weather Fan, but rather, A Fan because Someone I Love Likes That Team.

It's a very scientific process.

And Zach even said yesterday, because we were talking about this, he said, "If there was one thing I could change about you, it would be that you liked sports."

Ok, don't think badly of him. You have to take everything he says with the sarcasm that was intended to go with it.

Plus, this is the same man, that in the beginning of the week, while I was in the middle of cooking dinner, grabbed me around the waste, told me that, "He had never been more attracted to me, in his entire life," and proceeded to make out with me, until my hamburger burned.

So him wanting me to be interested in something he is, was not at all offensive to me.

It's not going to happen.

But, I don't mind that he wants it to.

Can you even imagine it? Me. Interested in something for real?

I can't. I would totally feel like a fake the whole time.

Zach has a favorite team that he legitimately follows for like every sport, maybe with the exception of basketball and baseball. But even then he still knows sports facts and all kinds of information about players and teams and what not.

It seems like a major investment to me.

So for now at least, I'll just stick to randomly picking my teams for big games, whether by whoever Zach is picking, or a city I might like over the other one, maybe I'll turn into one of those girls and pick my teams by the cutest uniforms, or probably I'll stick to staying in the kitchen and turning out good food so that those who really care can enjoy the game to the fullest!

One last thought: We have evolved past the age of commercials. Most everyone keeps a DVR in the house to specifically fast forward through commercials. The SuperBowl should actually be named a holiday for Commercials, since it is the one day during the year where people not only look forward to watching the Commercials and refrain from fast forwarding, but a lot of people actually watch the entire game just for the Commercials. No wonder advertising spots are so expensive! If that was your one chance all year to get people to watch, I would pay $100,000/second of advertising too!


Phasellus facilisis convallis metus, ut imperdiet augue auctor nec. Duis at velit id augue lobortis porta. Sed varius, enim accumsan aliquam tincidunt, tortor urna vulputate quam, eget finibus urna est in augue.

No comments:

Post a Comment