It's kind of quiet here.

And it's kind of nice.

It's also the first time all morning that I could say that.

Stryker is taking a nap with his daddy who has been up since 3 this morning pushing snow and plans to go back out at 3 this afternoon.

And the girls have been banished to their room for Room Time.

We had a pretty rough morning around here. It's the second morning in a row. I'm exhausted. And not from getting up during the night, since Stryker slept from 11 to 5 this morning. I feel pretty rested.

I'm exhausted from disciplining/yelling/scolding/spanking/threatening/and counting at my children! The other two.

The older two.

The girl two.

They really are the hardest part of all of this. And it's only been a week!

In the first few moments of this morning, I actually thought to myself, I really could have at least three more kiddos. If labor isn't so bad and I recover this quickly then maybe I'll take the whole initiate to "Inhabit the Earth" personally.

I'll let Zach in on it too of course.

But then a minute goes by and I'm scolding Scarlett for using my Antique Quilt Stand as the High Bar/Low Bar for her future Olympic Gymnast Training and punishing Stella for stealing my phone, locking herself in her bedroom where she could go against my will and play the toddler games on the damn thing.

And then my head spins around in this moment reminiscent of The Exorcist and green goo starts foaming at my mouth and my children look up at me with terror in their eyes and trembling hands and Zach says, "Rachel, take a breath." It's really pretty scary!

We took the kids over to a friends house before we had the baby, and they don't have kids, they just have dogs. But anyways, there was a moment where I had to get really stern with my children when it was time to pick up toys. You know how it goes when your kids have been playing with new toys and are having fun and you drop the bomb on them that it's not only time to put the toys away but it's also time to leave the party. And the husband looks at me and says, "Rachel, that is the first time I've ever seen you even get sort of mad."

I've literally known him for 9 years.

Holy Cow. Has it been 9 years since I started college???? Oh my gosh I'm SO OLD!

Ok, it's only, technically, been 8 and a half. But still. Geesh. I think I've known my high school friends a long time. Or Zach a long time. (And I have.) But now I can put college friends in almost the decade long time of friendship too!

Melinda. We've almost been friends for a decade.

Ok, back to the point. I'll have to save my freak out for next month, when it's actually my birthday and I will actually have to turn a year older. Prepare for a month long period of weeping and moaning.....

So anyways. Room Time.

Room Time is reserved for days when I can't take it anymore. And eventually my children can't do anything right without me turning my head sharply and giving them the Stink Eye. And truth be told they have stopped trying to do anything right and are now betting on the number of times mommy's head spins around in a full 360 and her eyes bulge out of her head and her words stop making sense but turn into a long sound of run-on vowels and consonants.

Good moms.... Together moms..... Moms who are much better at this job than I am, practice Room Time on a daily basis. They have it scheduled out and give themselves a daily break.

One day I'll be that mom.

One day when my kids have all moved out and its way past the time to figure things out, that's when I'll get it together. I just know it!

Until then, I'll struggle through the daily hardships of being in the process of figuring it out!

Ok, but my point is, on other days when Room Time is not the necessity standing between my last thread of sanity and the edge of the cliff of madness, they just go to their rooms naturally.

They play with each other. They have fun. They make up games. They stay in their room, where all of their toys are, for hours or at least an hour. And they love it. And they love each other.

I don't have to make Room Time a mandatory assignment, they just do it.

So I don't know. Do I keep it the way it is? Room Time being only part of the days that threaten to drive me crazy? Or a daily occurrence in which I banish them every morning until a time I deem ready to rejoin society?

My problem is, is that if I make it mandatory it will stop being fun. You know? Right now, when they are in there and quiet and giggling and playing games that only little girls play, like House and Babies and Puppies and Barbies and Tea Parties and Picnics or whatever, they love it, they love each other and more importantly they don't need their mother.

But if it's daily routine doesn't that take away the fun. Then isn't it just another order to follow in Mommy's long list of Do's and Dont's?

I don't know. I'm still trying to figure this whole thing out. And I'm not just talking about Room Time. I'm talking the whole Encompassing World of Motherhood.

Somehow, before the baby was born, I assumed that I would be figuring out baby again at this point. And the other kids would, I don't know, just go on living. But it turns out baby is easy. Baby is been there, done that. It's toddler and little girl that need reworking. Especially a strong-willed-do-it-herself-super-smart-little-girl. And Toddler for that matter. A toddler who told us last night that she had to go potty and then went into the bathroom took off her diaper and went potty. That doesn't happen!

So who knows. Today we're sticking with Banishment. We all need it.

Maybe tomorrow I'll figure out schedule and routine and what it is my children really need....

But we will tackle that tomorrow. Because Today I don't have a clue.