Ok, we are only six days away from Christmas. And it kind of bums me out! Granted I've got some serious figuring out to do if Zach is going to have any kind of gift from me, but other than that the shopping has pretty much been figured out and under control, even the stockings. The times and dates of family get-togethers are set. The tree was put up last week and there is snow on the ground.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas around here.

And that's what bums me out.

There's only six days left of this glorious time of year and then what? Nothing.

Well.......

2011.

Zach's birthday.

The birth of our first son.

Valentine's Day.

Stella's fourth birthday.

My birthday. Scratch that. I'm refuse to turn another year older, so lets just all agree to celebrate me one day during the month of February, but not call it a birthday or acknowledge the passing of another year.

Thanks.

Scarlett's second birthday.

Ok, so there's a lot to look forward to in the New Year. But this Holiday Season has flown by for me and I'm honestly not ready for it to be over! I like all of the lights and the spirit and the trees and the wonder in my child's eyes. I'm not ready to say goodbye to that and settle into just plain winter and figuring out how to write 2011 on all of my checks with a scratched out 2010 right next to it.

Christmas was always great before kids. I mean, I loved it growing up of course and Zach ever since I can remember reverts back into a child during Christmas because he loves it so much.

But since kids, Christmas has taken on an entirely new level of joy and fulfillment and wonder.

I mean everything is a big deal to them, from every house with a different light decor to decorating the tree to Santa Clause shaped chocolate. They love it all. Treasure it all. And are thankful for it all.

I started crying in Target the other night. I know. I'm awesome. But the girls were with my mom so we could get their Christmas Shopping done, and we had had one of those perfect date nights where it was all errands and running around but we were just so thankful to have time alone with each other even the car wash felt magical, and then we had been in Target looking around for them, finding stocking stuffers and reminiscing about what Christmas was like in our own childhoods, and then at the cashier, when I realized we might not have much for the girls this year, but what we do have is absolutely perfect and they are going to just love everything, and I imagined the excitement on their pretty faces and wonder in their sparkling eyes, I pretty much burst into tears right then and there. In front of the cashier. The line of people behind me. Oh and Zach.

How do you even go about explaining something like that?

I couldn't.

And I didn't have to.

I finished paying and Zach put a gentle hand on my shoulder, letting me know that under normal circumstances the sudden outburst of emotion should have been irritating, but on this special night, he was more than understanding.

And now I just can't wait for Christmas morning. Or even Christmas Eve! We have special pajamas and two very special books for them to open so we can read them both the true Christmas Story and a favorite of mine and Zach's, The Night Before Christmas.

I'm just so excited. And although the days themselves will be wonderful I'm sure, surrounded by time spent with family and visiting Santa and driving around looking at lights and baking and laughter and excitement and all other good things, I just don't want it to end.

But I suppose all good things have to come to an end.

And it's not like we don't have anything to look forward to after Christmas.....

A new baby and all.

Which will hopefully be directly after Christmas. Like, maybe the 31st?

Wouldn't it be nice to get that Tax Deduction??

If I really want that to happen though, there are a few things I need to get together before this baby is born. Mostly simple things, oh you know, a car seat, clothes, newborn diapers, boy anything oh and a name for this child.......

Maybe that's the reason I'm dreading the end of Christmas. There's a whole lot to do once it's over!