Ebenezer Blog

So I just posted another blog that was from yesterday. I am losing it. Everything was written and ready to go, I just didn't press publish.

So for your reading pleasure today you can enjoy two blogs. :)

All three of you that read this! Haha.

It is officially time to celebrate. Although it's only the Eve of Christmas Eve, I'm still too excited to hold it in.

In fact as we speak, or as I write rather, it's oh about 10 AM and my kids are totally eating candy canes. I can't help myself. They wanted one and I couldn't think of a good enough reason to say no. Other than my usual policy to not enjoy candy before they've eaten a good lunch, and that they probably should have eaten lunch first because now they won't eat anything. But really I should have waited because I have a TON of cleaning to do today and it would have been a good activity to save for when I clean the kitchen. Dang it.

Oh well, maybe they will get two today. Who knows. I'm feeling generous.

Plus these aren't just any candy canes. These are Sweet Tart flavored an Jolly Rancher flavored.

Candy canes have gotten so much better since I was a kid. Nobody can get excited about an entire box of peppermint candy canes. Gross. Or even the cherry ones, although I thought they were a better alternative. Zach disagrees with me. But now they have a bazillion different flavors and seemingly every different candy company puts out their own version.

If only people had the time to sit down and enjoy an entire one of those things. I mean I would for sure, especially something like a Starburst or Skittle flavor. Yum.

But who has the time? They make you all sticky and you have a giant colored stick hanging out of your mouth for way more than is appropriate for an adult and they turn your lips all different colors.

Anyways, I don't even know if its worth it for the kiddos. What a mess! Maybe that will be our new Tubby Time fun activity. They can get as sticky as they want in there.

I can't get over how excited I am for Christmas. Oh my. It has to be my kids. They have finally hit that age where they are just ecstatic for presents and special Christmas dresses and baked goodies and candy and spending time with family and giving gifts and Santa and baby Jesus and all of that. And it really is contagious.

Christmas has been bitter sweet for the last five years and usually more bitter than sweet. The first Christmas Zach and I ever spent together as a married couple, was in the hospital watching my dad die. That was a tough year, although he made it through Christmas day and passed early in the morning on the 26th.

Zach did all of the shopping that year and wrapped all of the presents, he even used bows. He even bought me a really nice present. I didn't get him anything that year. Ugh, it was awful.

So since then, it's been a slow recovery into the normal-ness of the season. And up until now, Stella didn't totally get the Spirit of the Season. I mean, it's easy to understand the day where you open up bunches and bunches of presents, but this year the frenetic energy of the whole month grabbed a hold of her and consequently Scarlett too.

This year for the first time in all of these past years, I can look forward to the Day instead of dreading the end of it, knowing what the next day would bring.

This year is the first year in the past half-decade where we will actually be celebrating a Christmas on that day as well. With my family. Robbie doesn't come to town until the 26th, so not only will my family be together to remember Dad(Usually we avoid each other and talking about it, we're not very good at being emotional with each other, but what do you expect when my siblings are all boys), BUT we will actually be celebrating the day.

That is an exciting concept for all of us, I think.

But the kids help. Kids who never knew their Papa, or understand what it means to truly miss someone. They can hide our pain and replace our melancholy with simple-child-like Joy. We can all borrow from their worry-free wonder and simply enjoy the blessings the day will bring.

Whoa, didn't mean to turn into Debbie Downer there. But sometimes there are those sharp, acute moments where I miss my dad so much it physically hurts, and then the pain subsides and he returns to this distant memory that doesn't even seem real and I can continue on with life.

So anyways. My children are in their room chanting, "TV, TV, TV!" to I think no one in particular but it sounds like the beginnings of a riot; I better go calm down the prisoners and make sure there are no sharp objects in reach before something chaotic happens.


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