Blog-ectomy

Ok, so part two.

Although there are totally three things I have to say first.

1. I am making the switch from aluminum cans to plastic two liters. Really, I should eliminate pop from my diet completely and plastic is not really all that much better than aluminum..... but I'm not that strong willed yet! But I'm doing this for two reasons. First, aluminum is about the WORST Thing you can drink out of! The same effects of your aluminum cooking pans happen in soda cans and aluminum foil and candy bar wrappers and yada yada yada, but mix that with the terrible-ness of soda and you have yourself an awful drink that destroys your insides. But second, and this is really what pushed me over the edge: Yesterday, I swung by the store to pick up a 12 pack. Do you know how much it cost? $5.00!!!!!! For just a 12 pack! A 24 pack was double that. I was sick. Ok, that is ridiculous. I usually won't pay over $3. Sometimes I'll go $3.50, if I'm desperate. So anyways, I took my $1.29 two liter and said screw you to aluminum cans.

I cannot afford inflation people. The GOP better come through for me these next two years.....

2. Tuesday I had a doctors appointment. Week number 28. Holy cow. We are officially third trimester folks. That is scary in itself. This was also the week that I took the dreaded orange drink test and if you haven't been pregnant and don't know what that is, think of diabetes in a 12 oz. cup. It's awful. I gagged several times trying to drink the thing and then had to be terrified for a day that the results would be positive. They weren't. Hallelujah! But the scariest part of the whole doctor's visit was what I measured. Granted, I know the whole old wives' tale of the gestational week you are should coincide with what you measure will really only get you so far and that plenty of women who measure ahead have perfectly normal sized babies. Fine. That's fine for them. I, however, do not have perfectly normal sized babies! NOT AT ALL!! And with the other two ginormicons I measured maybe one week ahead or normal their entire pregnancies. This little boy. Ha. Haha. At 28 weeks, I am measuring 31! 3.1. Ummm..... That's actually what my doctor said. Well, he measured me and then kind of sat their for a minute and then said, "Hmmm.. 31.... Hmmmm......." Guess what, that does not give the pregnant lady having dreams about the world's biggest baby any confidence. The funny thing is, this has been my healthiest pregnancy! (Thanks to Salad Master.) I have only gained four pounds the entire time and I've just recently gained those over the last two months. That's it. With Stella I was well over, well.... let's not get into that...... But even with Scarlett when I only gained the allotted 25, I was still blaming my enlarged children on weight gain. As it turns out, apparently I'm not entirely at fault. I can't tell if this is a relief or a nightmare!

Third thing. The Murano is fine! Praise God! All that happened was that the exhaust got pushed back a little bit and was therefore making a noise, the dealership fixed it at no cost to us and I breathed the biggest, longest sigh of relief! Oh my word. Now all I'm waiting for is a coupon for our little hospital visit from the other day and life will just be dandy. Don't you wish that stuff happened. Like, Monday morning we had walked into the ER and explained our circumstance to the Doctor and he looked back at us and said something like, "Well, guess what. You're in luck. As the first appendectomy of the morning you get 50% off and here is a spend at least $10,000 get 30% off your purchase coupon to be used at time of purchase." Um, thank you doctor Shuff, I will take these handouts. I told Lindsay, next time something like this happens, when they ask for Insurance, I will just write down Universal Health Care, Provider: Barack Obama/all of my taxes. Policy Number: Free, thank you very much.

No, I'm not really going to do that. Hello.... I'm a conservative. Repeal. Repeal. Repeal. :)

Ok, so back to my story. Zach was up all night Sunday night. The whole night. He would try to sleep in our bed. He would try to sleep on the couch. He would try to walk around or take a shower or do anything. (Actually it sounds like what labor is like...) Nothing worked. 3 AM it's time to wake the wife.

He says, Rachel, I need to go to the emergency room. And I'm all like um, what? Because it wasn't even an I think I need to, or What do you think? No, the boy knew exactly what was wrong with him and since we were afraid of a bursting appendix we decided it was better to go sooner than later.

However, I'm not sure if you've ever tried to get a babysitter at 3 AM..... It's not happening. Although, we tried. Apparently there aren't too many people willing to answer their phones that late in the night. Can't say that I blame them, because I seriously doubt I would have crawled my lazy bum out of my nice warm bed just to see who accidentally dialed me. Unless of course it was during one of my many midnight trips to the bathroom, then I suppose I would have glanced the direction of the phone.... But most people don't have to pee fifty times a night.

Anyways, finally the rest of the world wakes up at 6 and we start to get calls back. The first from our health care provider and expert informing us that most bursting appendix happen at least closer to the 48 hour range and so we had a good 30 hours to go yet before we were in serious trouble. That was a major relief and allowed us to take a breath while waiting to hear back from someone who could watch the girls not only in the early morning hours but what we were sure would be an overnight trip to the hospital.

Finally, Kylee was on her way and we started getting ready to leave. Can I just remind every body that I am not a morning person. And therefore never, ever have forethought or a working brain that early in the morning. If I did, I would have thought about bringing a book. Or my laptop. Or anything other than a cell phone that doesn't get any reception inside of a hospital!

Clearly a side note... Moving on.

Oh and I should say, if we had really been concerned that it was a terrible emergency we would have just woken the girls up, but seeing as how two, sleep deprived little kidlets in a no play, no touch environment was the worse alternative to a burst appendix you can see why we didn't......

Oh that would have been a nightmare!

Finally we arrive at Immanuel, which is conveniently just down the street from us (Actually it is the nearest thing to us! Closer than any stores or gas stations....), at 7 or just before. And the lobby is empty. Well, almost empty, there was one man smoking outside of the doors in a bath robe(Which I'm pretty sure is illegal on a smoke free campus....) and another woman inside with a huge gash all the way from her forehead, over her eye and down her cheek and then us. We sit down, give them all of our information and are directed to the waiting area.

Now, I have been in the emergency room several times. More times than anyone would like to be there. And you know what happens. You wait. And you wait. And you wait. And you wait. FOREVER.

So with my poor husband who can barely stand right now, let alone stand up straight we go sit down in the chairs.

I'm eyeing the coffee machine, but chomping on a fresh piece of gum, because it turns out that even if you only get a half of night's sleep you still have morning breath....., and not wanting to commit to spitting my minty gum out, mixing the flavor with coffee, hospital coffee no less, and then replacing morning breath with coffee breath only to be replaced with another piece of gum that I don't want to waste.... when they call us back. It had literally been a minute.

I was like, What? Either early morning is the best time to go to the emergency room or they don't mess around with possible appendicitis!

Pretty sure it was both. Note to self, all further emergency room visits should happen in the morning. The early morning.

So we get back to the actual ER room and from then on its a series of tell us whats bothering you, get an IV, tell us whats bothering you, get a test, tell us whats bother you, get another test, tell us whats bothering you, get another IV, tell us whats bothering you, get diagnosed, and then moved to surgery pre-op, tell us whats bothering you, tell us whats bothering you, tell us whats bothering you, pee in a jug, tell us whats bothering you, go have surgery.

He had to repeat his story like a bazillion times.

Even after he was in pre-op and they were literally prepping him for an Appendectomy!

Other than a major surgery, the hospital is really a boring place to spend the day. Plus, I hadn't eaten breakfast, poor oversight on my week early morning brain and so by 11 o'clock, this pregnant girl was a little shaky!! Thankfully, most people feel sorry for the 7 monther on her way to fainting while her husband lays ill in the hospital bed and so I was brought treats.

Cookies and processed cheese and crackers and a pepsi. And then after Zach was admitted into surgery I was sent to the gift shop for more snacks, this time pringles, honey roasted peanuts, and an orange juice. Ok and then after his surgery which only lasted like 20 minutes and I spoke to the surgeon that he would be fine and we came in at the perfect time because although they could tell that he had appendicitis it wasn't infected nor was it gangrenous and so they were able to remove it without any complications, I was sent down to the cafeteria where I could finally get lunch. And I actually thought, oh good, I can eat something healthy now.

But do you know what they serve in hospital cafeterias? NOTHING HEALTHY. Even their salads are full of cheese and processed lunch meat and who knows what else. I settled on a yogurt parfait with granola and a slice of cheese pizza. I know, more healthy options right? But my other choices were chicken fingers, or chicken fried chicken, or mashed potatoes and gravy(The instant kind) or macaroni and cheese or all other gross, hot lunch food that I expect at high school cafeterias and not at a hospital that's promoting health and well being.

I get the fact that feeding the masses requires some shortcuts in the way of bulk shopping, but really. Does everything have to be processed and fake?

Hopefully though, the people that are eating it on a daily basis are also going to have good health coverage......

Anyways, when I got back from lunch, Zach was in recovery and I could join him again. He was a little out of it still and in a TON of pain. I guess that's what happens when they make three separate incisions into your abdomen and leave you with the feeling that you have no stomach muscles.

But the good news was, after two more hours of sitting around and watching meaningless TV we could go home! We were home by 3:30 PM that day and so even though Zach went through a significant surgery, we only spend part of one day in the hospital.

I even got the girls to dance that evening.

Mostly, just to give Zach peace and quiet.

And now. He's recovering. The poor guy. He is getting better day by day, but the doctor said he would be out for two weeks! Two weeks. He's of course just determined to make it only one, but the fact that he still can't bend over to put his own socks on says something.....

So.

Although he really isn't the type of guy that can just sit at home and make the best out of the TV and Play Station. As fun as it was the first day, I'm pretty sure he's about to crack from cabin fever.

Ever since we've been married I have always, always been terrified of something like this happening. A freak and sudden trip to the emergency room for major surgery. So of course Appendicitis was always on my list of things to avoid if possible.

You can imagine how I felt driving my invalid of a hubby down the road to my biggest fear.

However, it's over now. He's healthy. The hospital did a great job and it flew by. There was no overnight stay, he didn't even get a meal there. And now I don't have to worry about it anymore. We made it.

So Zach is better. The Murano is fine. I'm making it through the week as a parent in charge of three. And compared to the melt downs I had at the beginning of the week, I'm relatively emotionally stable for the time being.

Just wait until next week.

Or until I tell you the drama surrounding my Salad Master boss and how he is apparently moving to Dallas.......

Rachel

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