Blog Calhoun

Who's got two thumbs and a case of the Mondays?

This girl.

Look at that, I successfully combined two phrases I completely dislike into the opening title of my blog post. I'm awesome.

Stella's homeschooling right now. We're working on the letter E, but because my patience for sitting and staring is short, my OCD tendencies make me want to nit-pick at every little thing and my perpetual exhaustion threatens to slip me into a coma at any second, I am blogging whilst she learns.

And learning she is. I chose homeschooling for preschool mainly because I didn't want to pay for four hours of preschool a month at the age of three (Obviously, I'm exaggerating). I'm cheap. You know that. Plus, it never would have worked, since we are only using one car right now and as it turns out, I'm super lazy in the morning.

Ok, we knew that. And I should say that our van is in the shop. We just don't know what is happening with it. Possibly, the owner of the little shop we've taken our cars to since high school, decided to screw America, close up shop, fix our van and drive it to Mexico. We don't really know.

Anyways, the point is, I'm not the only lazy person around here in the morning. My girls are just as sleepy!

We do not get up and moving around until like 10. And that's not even an exaggeration. Even if I'm up and doing work, my girls are still laying around. And that's not even because I have the TV on. Seriously. They pick at breakfast, we get dressed, or whatever and then they find their blankets, and take them to different corners of the house and lay down on them for a good 20 minutes, or 5 minutes in one place, pick it up and move to another place for 5 minutes and so forth. Trying to get out the door in the morning is total hell. They aren't moving quickly, which is unfortunate because you know I'm ALWAYS running late. They throw temper tantrums at the drop of a hat. They constantly cry. It's a total mess.

Which has me totally worried about real school. How on earth, seriously, how in the world are we ever going to be able to wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast and walk out the door all in time to drop Stella off at preschool by 8:00 AM???? That literally sounds impossible to me.

At one of my dinner parties I did a couple of weeks ago, the mom of one of our really good friends was there. He was homeschooled through high school and we relentlessly make fun of him because of that fact. And not just that, at times we've demanded to see the high school diploma he has been unable to produce this far!

But anyways, his mom was talking about why she had decided to home school and it turns out it was just because her and her kids hated the mornings and couldn't get anywhere on time either!

And then I saw my future. Holy Crap. I'm totally going to be that mom. (Not that it would be that terrible of a thing. I'm referring to the homeschool part!)

Some people home school because of religious reasons, or because they don't live near any good schools, or because they truly believe they are the best authority to teach their children.

My reason, in two more years, when I've tried OCA and realize that I just can't hack it as a real parent, is going to be because I'm too lazy in the mornings!

And by lazy, I mean, mornings and I, we just don't see eye to eye. I prefer to skip them entirely and unfortunately my kiddos have inherited the same curse.

Oh my word. Just think about it though. Stella will be going to kindergarten, Scarlett will be three, the little baby will be 18 months and chances are I'll be pregnant again.

Um, yea. No way, no how are we going to make it to school on time....... Ever. Or anywhere for that matter.

Ugh. Homeschoolers get such a bad rap.... Do you think it's still possible for my girls to be homeschooled and be totally normal?

No. I didn't think so either.

And no offense to homeschoolers out there. I think its awesome. But I don't think its for me. And there are certain things you just miss out on by being homeschooled. Like the entire school experience!

Of course, we could still hold homecoming court and prom queen competitions in our own home, but I kind of feel like that breeds the wrong kind of competitive spirit between the children....

Plus, I would have to have a lot more kiddos to equal an entire homecoming court. And isn't that a bit weird, you know, King and Queen being related and all??

Anyways, I don't even think these are real concerns. I couldn't do it. I'm looking forward wayyyy too much for no kids in the house. You know, maybe actually doing something with my college degree after I send that last little one to school, or lunch with the ladies on a daily basis, how about cleaning the house uninterrupted or running errands in a timely manner, pedicures whenever I want and maybe, maybe, maybe getting my hair done once in a while!

Doesn't that sound just amazing?

In fact, homeschooling sounds awful. I need my brain to function normally at some point in the near future, or I might lose it all together. The kids are definitely going to school.

In fact, I might just enroll them an entire year early!


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