Storm Bloggin

It's getting darker outside. And that's a good thing.

It's Holy Hot out there today. Oh my word.

And it looks like thunder storms. Since it's only 3:33 in the afternoon it better not be a sunset. I would have to expect like Revelation-type Happenings then as well. I mean if the day were turn into night. It would be a whole, People get ready, Jesus is coming scenario.

I know what you're thinking right now(Besides the fact, I might be a little bit crazy....). You're thinking, Wow! Two blogs in one day! How exciting!! :)

Well, the deal was I wrote the blog before this yesterday, but didn't get a chance to finish it. So nap time today happens to be smoother than usual and that means I'm on to round two.

The truth is I have missed this daily blogging thing a lot! Like, a lot a lot. Listen people, I have a lot to say to this world. And most the time it just gets lost on my kids, so the whole blogging to the unknown Universe thing just really makes me feel like I have a voice.

Even if it's a crazy voice that actually sounds like multiple voices or personalities or whatever. I'm just saying, it's still an outlet for my words.

I also think it's healthy for my marriage. What's that thing, that like men use all of 2,000 words a day and women 4,000. Double the amount!

Well, I'm pretty sure My Man Of Few Words uses even less than that. So in order to save him from Death by Conversation if I don't get these stories or thoughts out to you, then he has to listen to them in all of their over-dramatic glory PLUS hand movements and actions and the poor thing just can't take it by the end of the day.

Well really, could you?

Off topic, but equally important..... I highly recommend the new Lays Garden Tomato and Basil Potato Chips. They are delicious!

Ok, so back to the Weekend from Not So Hell.

We make it through Friday Night and Saturday Morning rolls around.

We get up. Or rather, the children wake us up. And we piddle around the motel until I just can't stand it anymore. So out the door we go at 7:30(JUST KIDDING), I mean 9:30 to head over to my brothers.

I mean. We are in Wichita to see him. He should know we're coming.

He doesn't. Then he cries about us waking him up.

And I cry about him living in literally the most ghetto neighborhood I have ever been in. And don't make me repeat my list of third world countries.

As we enter the neighborhood, I jokingly say to my mother, "Look mom a couch in the front yard, you can always tell how ghetto a neighborhood is by the number of couches they have setting out."

It was a joke, that is until we pass another couch and then another and then another and then another. Heck Robbies, next door neighbors had three couches in front of their house plus a recliner!!! It was like an entire living room!!

Ok, to be fair. One of the couches was a love seat.

The sweetest people though! Plus they really look out for Robbie. Which he needs in a neighborhood like that.

Anyways Robbie's not ready yet, so we decided to go to the park with the kids until he is. On our way out he says, "Watch out for broken glass!"

Um. What?

The park was actually really nice. Except for the stacks of empty beer bottles piled next to the trees. The broken glass shattered under the picnic tables and the 1000 degrees it was outside!

We met some super nice neighborhood kids. They kept inviting me to go to church with them. And then I heard one of them tell their mom who wouldn't get out of her van that she was thirsty and so her mom told her to run around the park three times and then she wouldn't be thirsty anymore.

So she did.

She was still thirsty.

And then something began to happen that resembled a drug deal so I threw my kids in the car, who wouldn't leave their shoes on to save their lives and had to had to had to play in the sand(I'm like there could be HIV needles in there children!!!) and we decided to wait for Robbie out front of his house.

Finally we go to lunch.

Then the Show. Which was fantastic by the way! My cousin is a super good actor. And that's why I suppose, he does stuff on Broadway and teaches voice at NYU. But it was nice to see some real evidence of that talent :).

Oh, and I should say that I'm not judging the ghetto ok. Lord knows, I live in my own version of poverty. But to be truthful, I didn't think those areas existed in the middle of Kansas. Poor yes. Like Tractor Cities poor. My Great Aunt lives outside of a city in Nebraska with a population of 37 people. There is one working establishment in that town and it is the Diner/Bar. Gilead, Nebraska. That's what I expect in Kansas. Like Hillbilly Farmers. That's the point I was making there.

I'm going to have to lead a mission trip to Wichita, Kansas now.... Although it sounds like they go to something called Metro Kids? So maybe a Relief Trip is a better title.

Anyways. Back to the bad weekend. I was also assaulted by an elderly gentlemen at the Musical who didn't happen to see my foot as he was making his way to his seat after the lights had been dimmed and lets just say I did my best to catch him.....

After the Musical we head to Robbie's big old birthday dinner at On the Border! LOOOOOVE it. I love On the Border and the closest thing we have to it in Omaha are their chips and salsa sold at grocery stores.

Oh, don't think I don't have a jar of it in my fridge right now!

Because I do.

Once again Scarlett turned into Dr. Jekyll. Or is it Mr. Hyde. Not the nice one, but the mean one. That's who she became and by the time they brought over the plate piled high with Sopapillas and sang Feliz Cumpleanos to Robbie the entire restaurant was begging me to take my children and return to Omaha.

The night finally ended and it was time to take a shower.

Oh man, did I need a shower. And oh man, was I looking forward to it. The whole cold/travel/fever/long day/morning in the ghetto was all working against me.

Do you remember how I described our motel?

Well, I'm going to have to say that the shower was the worst part.

Ok, also remember that I was expecting a Hilton Garden Inn and Suites. I didn't even pack shampoo. I love their shampoo.

Just the plain old, Garden Inn and Suites? Not. So. Much.

First of all they didn't even have bottled shampoo and conditioner. Second of all, they didn't even have shampoo and conditioner!

Oh, no. They had packets of Conditioning Shampoo.

Hello motels out there every where, meet my hair. My hair doesn't even know how to process "Conditioning Shampoo."

So, trying to keep this PG. I get in the shower. The nozzle and I meet. Eye to eye. Literally, the shower head was eye level with me. The top of my head and the water were apparently not on speaking terms.

I also notice a slow draining process. The water seems to be pooling around the tops of my toes...

Whatever. As far as showers go, this is kind of my only option.

I manage to get all of my hair wet, kind of. At least it's good enough and I reach for the first packet of shampoo. Ahem. Conditioning Shampoo.

First let me ask. Have you ever tried to open those (Curse Word) plastic packets in the shower. When your hands are already wet? Kind of frustrating. Kind of impossible. But eventually you get it. You might have just ingested half the packet, but at least its open.

I apply.

Nothing happens. I mean, other than my hair simply absorbing the liquid into its follicles as if to say, "You're going to have to do better than that!"

I apply the second.

And then the third packet.

The fourth. We're starting to get some soapy foam.

And by the fifth package I finally have what feels like shampoo in my hair! Woo hoo.

Meanwhile, the water has risen to the tops of my feet and I am really starting to get grossed out.

At home. I always let both the shampoo and conditioner sit in my hair for a few minutes. I believe I have to give it time to do its job. If I rinse right away, that's not really doing anything to the hay strands I call hair follicles.

As I'm waiting, the water continues to rise. And rise. And rise.

My ankles. My lower shins. This is getting gross.

Nobody wants to take a bath and a shower at the same time. That's whyyyy they are two separate entities.

But here I am not only mixing my shampoos and conditioners but showers and baths too. It's like a Guinness Book of World Records...

The shampoo. Oops. The Conditioning Shampoo suddenly begins to drip down into my eyes, thanks to an A-Wall stream of water and it burns kind of like I would imagine battery acid to, so I turn to the shower head and blindly try to lift of the nozzle and bring it to my face. Nope that is not happening.

Eventually I manage to both rinse my hair and regain a clear line of vision, but not without some serious creativity.

By the time I leave the shower, I'm worried about a serious over flow problem and then we get to listen to the sucker drain all night long.

So anyways. It was an eventful weekend to say the least.

The theme of the weekend was definitely captured in my last act in Wichita in which I left both my suitcase and the girls' behind the van at the motel. Nope not in it, not on top of it. Totally behind it on the ground.

Don't worry, we eventually figured it out. When we got back to Omaha.

Please don't let me fool you. I really did have a fantastic time in Kansas. I love my baby brother and it was SO good to spend time with him!

So despite all of my essentials and favorite articles of clothing that I won't get to see again until the 24th of this month, despite all the odds, the weekend was a success!


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