Blog The Builder

Oh there are so many things to talk about. I'll definitely have to edit... Otherwise. Well, otherwise we're going to be here for a while and I don't have any pictures, so I mean, unless you want to finish a Dicken's length novel in the form of a blog, I'm for sure going to have to edit.....

But there is just so much. I gave up blogging on the weekend, not necessarily because I wanted to, although lately some weekends I haven't had time. But since our computers are non-functional thanks to the curse that is me(Ok, for real though, just in case Zach reads this, small chance, but just in case, I need to say that there is no actual proof that it was me who broke either computer, ok. That in fact, I am blaming a fictional and non-existent curse on their lack of functuality and not in essence taking the real blame.) I haven't had the necessary access to a computer.

I could probably use my Iphone, but then this wouldn't make any sense. Or, ahem, less sense than it already does. And it would take me forever!!! So that wasn't a real solution, I just wanted to talk about my Iphone.

Moving on.

I don't know where to start though, seriously. There is Stella's soccer game. My Saturday night, which was a real doozy! Mother's Day. An episode of Bones that has this character that totally reminds me of... me. How I made the most amazing Macaroni and Cheese last night. Like It was totally, totally amazing! I am being serious, I guarantee you've never had a better Macaroni and Cheese! I made it with Smoked Gouda and Extra Sharp White Cheddar and Aged Parmesan and Panko Bread Crumbs and Jalapenos and the list goes on and I'm not kidding, and you know I don't like to brag(ha.) but seriously you should come over and try it. You will be blown away.

Zach and I got the idea from two rather nice restaurants we've been to lately. I know what you're thinking, when you go to a nice restaurant and their signature item is Mac and Cheese it can't be that nice.

Well, to you I would say, it's not like we were at Boston Market or KFC ok. These were actually nice restaurants, Mark's Bistro and Ryan's Bistro. If that means nothing to you, I can't blame you. When I hear the word "Bistro" in the title of a restaurant I immediately assume A. Tacky and B. Cliche. BUT these are actually nice. I promise.

Ok, enough justification. They served some of the best Mac and Cheese I've ever had. Turkey and Jalapeno at one and then Smoked Gouda at the other. So, what Zach and I decided to do, like in most cases when we try something we like somewhere else, we decide to make it at home and measure our own success. And in this case with the combination of both I am nominating myself for the James Beard Award. (If you don't know what that is, just watch an episode of Top Chef.)

And then Zach made Steaks. That was like our special Mother's Day dinner last night. A-Mazing. You have no idea how good Zach is handling the main-course. I'm serious. One day, I will have everyone over for steaks and you will see that I'm not making this up.

Ok, so enough bragging. I'm decent in the kitchen, but in reality I'm no Iron Chef. Although, if I was any kind of decent blogger I would have totally taken step by step pictures and then posted them in such a way as to give you, the reader, step by step directions so that you can recreate the dinner at home. Unfortunately I never measure anything, and cooking for me is more like a hippy religious experience than creating a meal and so the reality is that that same dish will never be created exactly the same way again.... dang it.

Anyways, do you want to know what I'm terrible at?

That would be coaching soccer.

That's right. Zach bailed on me. Totally turned his back and left me to fend for myself.

Ok, fine, I'll stop being over-dramatic and admit that maybe he had to work.

But it's been two weeks in a row.

And I may be a super good nanny, but coaching is definitely out of my league.

Plus, it's not like I'm coaching kids who understand the rules, no this is something different altogether. This is like the 10th Circle Of Hell reserved for nannies and babysitters.

Oh my word.

I have to deal with children who don't listen, but I have no authority to discipline, children who don't know how to stop after they've left the boundaries of the soccer field or even that there are boundaries, other coaches who take this whole thing WAY too seriously, I mean come on, they're 3, last week I had to deal with no goals because the YMCA forgot to drop them off, which is fine if you can explain to a child that the soccer balls set up were the goals instead, but guess what three year olds don't get that concept! I have to deal with playing five year olds who should be in kindergarten and are like 2 feet taller than my kids and have no qualms destroying us. It was like OCA Girls playing Gretna and if you don't know what that means then let me just say that girls soccer teams should not be able to beat other girls soccer teams by 23 points in high school varsity. Ok. And no, I was not on the winning side of that fiasco. I have to deal with parents who want to "help" coach their children, unfortunately we can't have four adults running around the field screaming orders at their respective children and getting in the way of progress, I have to deal with crying children who refuse to even set foot on the field and run off or on at will. And I have to deal with my girls. One of which doesn't really want to be on the field yet and definitely doesn't like taking things from other children such as a soccer ball,(A child got hurt from the other team last game and it was my child who did the crying for him, she felt so bad. And she is sooo sweet, I'm not sure if she is going to love soccer....) and my other child who is way too young to be on the field but thinks she is totally entitled and freaking out on the side line because she can't go in. Although I'm pretty sure Scarlett could take everyone, even the five year olds, down.

See. Stress.

And Zach, sure, he does just fine. He is a really good coach to these little kids. I know, I was surprised too. But he somehow manages it all and gets the job done.

Me? Not so much.

I'm pretty much on the verge of a nervous breakdown for 45 minutes straight.

It's probably not that bad. And the kids are really, really sweet. But, yikes. I mean, Yikes.

So Mother's Day yesterday? How was it for you?

I love these kind of holidays. I love celebrating people. We get into the day and I just realize what amazing mothers I have. I say mothers, plural, because I'm counting my mother-in-law.

They are both just amazing women. I am totally blessed to have them in my life. My mother is the strongest, most generous woman I know. And my mother-in-law has taught me what it means to be part of a family, and compassion and how to be paranoid about everything when it comes to my children. Yes, that is a very, very good thing. I am WAYYYY too trusting in general, and there is definitely a healthy amount of mistrust of all people that needs to come with being a parent!!

And then of course I'm a mother too. And Zach did a really amazing job of just celebrating me. But it was like any other day of being a mother.

I realized how blessed I am to have such beautiful, sweet little girls.

I questioned whether I was doing the right things as far as raising them and teaching them.

I got super annoyed and frustrated.

I calmed down and realized they are only so clingy because they love me so much.

I freaked out thinking about how quickly they are growing up and then appreciated their clinginess and unquestionable love.

I took Stella potty five times at the restaurant.

I dug gross things out of Scarlett's mouth like twenty times yesterday, including my pearl ring, bits of green crayon, half of which she had already ingested and a barbie head.

I got angry when they were naughty, fighting with each other and disobeying me.

Then I got remorseful and hated myself for having to discipline them.

Then I worried again if I was doing an adequate enough job raising them.

I nearly cried every time Stella tells me that she just loves me SO much and every time Scarlett walks up to me and gives me a big "MmmmmmMuah," which is the sound she makes every time she kisses someone.

I was stressed out during dinner and bedtime, but we somehow got through it.

And then I tucked them in and declared that they are the sweetest things I have ever seen.

Yep, pretty much a typical day as a mom. At least for me. But honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. Emotional Roller Coaster and all.


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