Not Bloggly Likely

It is a perfect morning.

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping. AJ(Dora) is in the other room howling(Yes, howling) and I am blind in one eye.

Or by the length of time it took me to just type that last sentence I would say, blind in two eyes.

Not for real blind, like early morning, my eyes are refusing to wake up kind of blind. Seriously, I mean, my eyes are literally rebelling the entire early morning hour right now.

Come on, little guys.... Focus..... Focus........

AJ(DTE) showed up fifteen minutes early today. Which would have been totally fine, I mean, which is totally fine. The only problem I have is, is that my alarm is set for ten minutes before she shows up.

Do you see the conflict in timing here?

So instead of the "BEEP BEEP BEEP" of the alarm, I woke up to the "Bang, bang, bang" of the door. Oops.

Don't worry. As it turns out I'm at my fastest when I'm late in the morning. I'm like lightening. I was dressed and redoing my hair and answering the door with a smile on my face in 30 seconds flat.

That's how I roll. Smooth.

Or I'm just used to being late. To everything. Even when I'm in my own home.

My only give away: My Morning Voice. This is an entity of it's own entirely.

One never knows quite how it's going to turn out.

Most of the time I sound oh, you know, like a man. Or a frog. Or some man-frog hybrid. I croak my "Hello's" in a lower decimal I'm not quite sure the human ear is familiar with.

On some occasions I find that my voice is actually non-existent. I open my mouth to speak, and nothing comes out. Nothing. I have a suspicion, that much like my still not functioning eye balls today, my vocal chords are still asleep, and refusing to wake up.

Today though. Today, was the ultimate in morning voices. This one is rare, only appearing every once in a great while. I can never tell when it will pop up, but when it does, most people are usually quite surprised(And by most people I do just mean Zach and my kids.) Today, my voice actually went higher. Like Mickey Mouse high. I answered the door all, "M I C - K E Y - M O U S E and Donald Duck.

Ugh. Just one more reason to hate the morning. (Remember 85, Remember 85, Remember 85)

Ok, so that was totally not what I wanted to talk about today. I actually had a subject that I thought about last night and determined I would mention it today. But in my defense, that was a little bit of a traumatic experience and so I just needed to tell somebody!

What is the deal with Product Placement these days?

I mean, like in TV Shows. Oh man, it is awful. I can't stand it. It seriously drives me nuts.

I don't mind brand-application in a show. Like, the main character is drinking a coke. Go right ahead honey, drink the coke. I mean, the literal stopping of the scripted dialogue to say, "Hey, what are you drinking there?" "Oh, you know, it's this great brand of soda called Coca Cola, and it's not only refreshing, but thirst quenching as well." "Wow. That is so cool, I'm going to go get myself a coke right now."

I mean that is bologna. (That is not a fun word to type, nor do I feel like it gets my point across. Baloney, is more like it.)

Last night, I was watching this show, Life Unexpected, where life on the show is truly unexpected.

I know, it's ridiculous. If you've seen the show, I know what you're thinking. Stop judging me. There is nothing I can do about it. I actually prefer teenage soap operas to crime scene investigation crap. So deal.

Zach always calls my shows "Smut." That's like his buzz word for them. But in my defense, Life Unexpected is more "Bah ha ha ha ha ha, this show is out of control dramatic" than actually "Smut."

Anyways, so last night(The show is really on Monday nights, but I was just getting a chance to get caught up on my DVR) the main characters were going on this road trip. Totally normal stuff. When all of a sudden the teenager in the show walks up to the dad figure and is like "What are you doing?" and he's all "Making you a better driver. Check it out." And he points his laptop towards her that is sitting on the bed of the truck and it shows State Farm's website and this checklist for teen drivers that is supposed to help them be a safer driver.

Yea, Right. That's what teenagers need: a checklist. I'm sure they'll use it, you know since it's been on the CW and all.

But that wasn't the end of it. Oh no. Later in the show, the dad is in this accident and he's like, "Now the first thing you want to do when you're in an accident is exchange insurance cards." And he pulls out a Hoagie punch card, the camera spans to the card and then back to the teenage daughter, "You want to show them a punch card for Hoagies?" She says sarcastically. He says, "Oh, no. Sorry. Wrong card. Oh, here it is." Camera spans back to a close up of the State Farm card and then pans back to show both father and daughter looking at the insurance card.

What? Seriously. I think you've just lost my viewership. Ugh. It's so irritating and totally out of place from the normal, dramatic, intense dialogue(Yes, that was sarcastic). And it makes me never, ever want to use State Farm.

I stopped watching a different show last summer because they did the same thing. Royal Pains? Heard of it, I think it's on USA. And usually, I love USA shows. Such as Psych. But at the beginning of one of the shows, all of the main characters are sitting around a bar and the brother is behind it with a large bottle of Grey Goose and he literally instructed them on how to make a Grey Goose Martini and then they all had a sip and were like, "Wow that is amazing!" then they put their drinks down and walked in to the main part of the living room and began the normal dialogue.

So irritating. I mean, is this the desperate point advertisers are at to sell their products. Isn't it enough just to showcase the product through out the show?

Like in Boondock Saints(I do realize the movie is a tad bit older but the new one did the same thing, although not nearly as good as the first.) when they show the main characters always drinking Bushmills. Throughout the entire movie, there are posters for Bushmills, the characters are drinking Bushmills and you're like, "Huh. I want to try Bushmills."

Ok, I actually don't want to try Bushmills, I'm not so much a fan of whisky. In fact, I hate it. It's kind of like drinking a forest fire in my opinion. So the fact that I want to drink it just because they do such a great job of Product Placement tells you a little something about their advertising skills.

And a little bit about how susceptible I am to advertising techniques.

What? Don't worry, I'm not going to.

Or like the kids from Gossip Girl with their cell phones. They don't have to talk about how sweet their cell phone is in order for you to pay attention to it, all they have to do is use it and you're like, "Oh man, that phone is way nicer than mine. What kind of phone is it?"

You get the idea.

So, I'm not so sure I'll go back to Life Unexpected, although usually during the show they do teach a valuable life lesson(One that is definitely worth tuning in for. More Sarcasm) and there is only one episode left. But, if they even think about placing another product in there and than selling out for some ridiculous-extra-obviously-doesn't-fit-in-kind-of-dialogue, I'm done. For real. I'm breaking up with them.


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