The Blog Identity

Oh this one is a trifecta. Don't you worry about it. The titles I mean. Thank you Jason Bourne.

Did you like those movies? I mean, I feel like I'm supposed to like those movies, they are the kind of movies I love. High action. Thriller. Mystery. He's all, "Who am I?" I should love it right? Plus, boys love those movies. Like love them. Not that that has anything to do with me. But here's the truth, ok, get ready. Truthfully, I can' t understand them. At. All. I have to turn the volume wayyyyy up for the dialogue parts and then I have to turn it wayyyy down for the action sequences. Ok, fine the car chases are sweet. And the fight scene when they are in like India or somewhere I can't remember right now in the bathroom is ok, sweet. But what the heck is he saying all of the time? And Julia Styles you used to be one of my faves back in high school, what happened?

Anyways, moving on. Ok, one more thing. I guess the books are supposed to be sweet though. So I'll give them that. I haven't read them, I'm a little bit afraid of adult fiction. I had a bad experience once.....

So today it's supposed to thunder storm. I could not be more excited! This is one of the best parts about Spring. All of the storms! And being right in the middle of Tornado Alley(Ok, geographically speaking I can't say for certain that we are in fact directly in the middle, I was only using a figure of speech, please don't repeat any information from this paragraph.) Or. (Ok, from anything I ever say. Just to be safe.)we see some pretty awesome storms. And I mean "Awesome" in the Biblical sense, conveying both the meaning of greatness and of enormous destruction.

I mean people are still trying to recover from the Hurricane Wind Storm that happened a couple of years ago. I know what you're thinking, don't you need an Ocean for Hurricanes? Ummm... have you ever heard of the Fremont Lakes. Pretty sure, they count.

Just kidding. The winds were only strong enough to remind people of a Hurricane. But what Midwesterners know about Hurricanes is beyond me.

Tornado's of course, yes! Earthquakes even, Yes. Um, sorry California, you're not the only ones located on a Fault Line, ok. :)

But Hurricanes, absolutely not. And I suppose you could throw in like Tsunamis, and shark attacks too....

So today, it will storm all day. Or it's supposed to. It's not right now, but the sky is definitely getting darker and might I add maybe a little green. No, I don't think there is green. It's too cool, and it's too early in the morning for Tornados. Have you ever noticed that tornados are like rarely up before noon. It's my secret belief that they are not morning people and in that sense I can relate to them.

Today, I also have a car!!!! I cannot tell you excited I am for this! My mom graciously offered it to me; and Zach and her woke up extra early so they Zach could take her to school, all so I could have a car today! They love me. Thankfully! They are nice people to have on your side. :)

Otherwise I didn't know what I was going to do when 12:50 came around and it was time to walk Dora the Explorer to school. I mean, walking in the rain is one thing, but a Thunder Storm is an entirely different matter. Also, I can't very well, drop AJ(D to the E) off at school, drenched and soaked to the bone. That would make for a pretty miserable day.

So today we have a van.

I feel like the whole world is before me. Like I can do anything. I'm full of hope and happiness. Watch out world, I have a car.

Until I remind myself that I have a car because it's raining and it is NO fun to move three children around in the rain. Three children of which 2/3rd's of them keep reminding me how terrified of storms they are.

Now my mood is turning as dark as the weather.

Hahaha. Just kidding. Sometimes I get a kick out of being over dramatic. If you didn't already know that.

Speaking of. I am beginning to think I have a super strange sense of humor. Sure at times I've known I can be dark, I LOVE a good pun and irony is always hilarious to me. But, I mean, I've always thought those were my most extreme moments of hilarity.

It turns out: I don't think people understand where I am coming from at all. At. All.

Last night, at dance, the moms and I(I am not only separating us for the story, but totally putting us into two separate classes. Me the servant class, Them the Ruling class. Dang it.) were standing in our row. Our regular row. There's almost like a seating chart to this thing. Mmm, I would compare it to a high school lunch table.

So anyways, there we are standing. Mostly quiet. And the thing is, the last few times we've all been together we have really been laughing and having a good time. Or so I thought. But usually there is this other mom, and she is kind of the funniest person I have ever met. She is totally out there and will basically say anything.

I mean, one time, she was telling me this story about how people think she adopted her daughter, who is half black, half white, or mulatto for the politcal correct ones out there, and so people will always ask her where she got her from? Where she adopted her from? Like, it was a fun little shopping trip. So one time, she got SO irritated that she looked at this super rich, super snobby lady and responded, "The island of my vagina." I died laughing. Of course, you have to hear her deliver the line, but oh my gosh it was so funny.

Anyways, so she's not there yesterday. Well, and you can imagine, if those are the things she finds funny, I mean just imagine us talking together. Out of control. And always, the other moms have laughed and thought it was hilarious and engaged in conversation.

But, I realized last night, that mom, the funny one(Whom in reality I don't even know here name, but truthfully, I don't know any of the moms names, or their kids names, so....) Maybe Elizabeth... Hmm... Anyways, so she wasn't there.

So I was left to my own devices.

And as it turns out. Elizabeth or whoever is the bridge. The bridge between my poverty-stricken-crazy-out-of-control-sense-of-humor-and-general-weirdness and their rich-bitchness.

Ok, they are really sweet ladies, not bitches. But they are rich. They are definitely rich. Well, most of them I think.

Maybe I really just have a thing against rich people. Maybe I'm a classist, who in reality just can't get over the fact that they're rich and I'm not. Oh. No. Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. I sound like a Democrat. Shoot. :)

Setting my political turmoil aside. There is definitely a disconnect between me. And them.

Any kind of joke I made, went completely over their heads, or maybe they just didn't think it was funny. And one time I commented on how this lady's hair looked lighter and instead of it coming out like a compliment I totally had to back track and I found myself apologizing and rambling and oy, it was so awkward.

The thing is, I thought we were, you know, becoming friends. Zach says I think this about everybody. And I should clarify, not in the friends-lets-go-grab-a-drink kind of friends, but in the, I-don't-dread-standing-next-to-you-for-45-minutes-and-we-can-carry-on-a-conversation type friends.

Last night, was totally one of those nights where I have to explain my jokes, like I'm not being serious, I don't really think that, I'm just joking kind of nights.

And that's when I began to think that maybe it's not them. Surely money doesn't take away your sense of humor. It's got to be me.

Normal people don't think it's funny when you call their daughters Kurt Cobain because they have stringy blonde hair and their tights are literally ripped beyond anything decent.

Ok, I didn't say Kurt Cobain. I said Grunge.

But I was thinking it. Hey, I thought it was adorable.

Maybe that's my problem: I think Kurt Cobain is adorable.

I think I've found the disconnect.


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