So last night, Zach and I went to look at a car.

It was definitely a better experience than the first time, and we actually like this car.

But now I have cold feet.

I don't like to commit to things.

Not big things anyways.

And by things, I mean literal things. Because I really believe that Commitment is a part of growing up and enhancing maturity, and I always, always believe it will pay off after you've chosen commitment.

Like with Zach. I was terrified of what commitment meant before we decided to get married. Zach was always ready, he probably would have married me right out of high school. Ok, he'll never admit that to anyone, but I was there, ok. I remember just as clearly as I remember his rat tail in second grade(I'm still searching for pictures by the way! Somehow I feel like he destroyed all evidence). But once I fully committed to him, decided that there was nothing better than a life to build with him, I have been deliriously happy ever since.

Commitment seemed to clear up mistrust, or issues we seemed to always fight over. Not that we don't fight or are that irritatingly perfect couple. I mean we do and we're only half way there. But ok, today these fights are more worthy of the Marriage Ref than Couples Counseling. At least so far.

The same thing happened with Zach's job. We were unhappy, always looking for something else, but this winter he committed, like for real committed. And not only did it bring extra benefits, but there is a sense of job security now, we can actually plan our future, our perspective has changed from looking at his job from like just the job he got during college to his career and a section of the company he is excited to build and expand.

I once knew this girl, we're not really friends anymore, but at one time we were super close. And she was definitely afraid of commitment. She was offered this amazing job; exactly what she wanted to do, exactly the way she could afford her lifestyle, when I looked in from the outside, the job seemed perfect for her, might I add she had also been out of college for a while.

She didn't take the job. She wouldn't take the job. Why? Because she was afraid of commitment. The job also offered a three year contract and she didn't think she could stay at something for three years. She was totally afraid of commitment and didn't want to lock herself into something, just in case something better came along.

What? Well, needless to say I had my own opinions. Still have my own opinions. Especially when I look at her today, still bouncing around from job to job, never committing, but never finding true job security either. Oh, did I mention she has a college degree and she's choosing jobs that get paid $8/hour.

That's fine if its your passion, and I really don't like to judge. And truthfully, I'm not. If she's happy, then, hey, who am I to demand commitment from her? I don't even know her anymore.

All that to illustrate my point. Commitment is a necessary but satisfactory part of life.

Until it comes down to material things for me.

A house? I don't know if you've noticed my aversion to committing to over a $100,000 debt. Uh, makes me nauseous just thinking about it. I still haven't decided what to do, rent vs. buy. But I will tell you one thing, if we buy, I will go kicking and screaming(On the inside that is. I can't have my children looking more mature than me.). (All the time anyways, there are definitely moments already.)

A car. We are still debating. Ok, we are not debating. Buying a van is inevitable. I realize that. I need to commit to the idea, I need to commit to a car and I really need to commit to the idea of signing my name on the loan papers. Oh geez.

Excuse me while I vomit.

Ok, lets move on from my obvious nervous breakdown. Things are getting scary.

Last night, after we looked at the car, Zach took me to the mall. I know, he's so sweet. On of my favorite stores was having a 50% off clearance sale and believe me that is right up my alley.

We went for this dress that I had tried on for Valentine's Day. It was finally on sale. Don't laugh, you don't think I'll wait that long for something I want? Believe me, there is not getting past the fact that I will not buy something until it is the bottom dollar. (Except for fruit. That is a necessity that I don't have the time to wait until it goes on clearance. Seriously, have you eaten a clearanced banana? Don't. Just.... Don't.)

Ok, so anyways, I tried the dress on in the store, but of course they didn't have my size and so I had to try on the smaller size, which by the way I am very proud to say fit fine, except for, well, how do I say this... the ta tas. They needed a bit more room.

So we decided to order it offline.

But then, Zach found these heels.

Oh my word, these beautiful heels.

I have been oogling them online for sometime, but they have always been wayyyy to expensive.

I mean shoes are something I don't put too much money into to begin with. My flats are usually from the Target clearance bin and I think the most I've spent on a recent pair of flats was something like, $2.47. That's right, two dollars and forty seven cents.

What?

I think I actually have like three pairs of shoes that cost that much. And even when I find them that cheap, I still carry them around the store debating whether or not I need them.

So anyways, I have been in love with these heels. And it was actually Zach who found them. He says, very casually, very manly, "Hey what do you think of these? They're you're size."

Which that was a sign from God anyways. They were the last pair in the store, and they were in my size! Are you kidding me, I have monster feet, that never happens.

I'm not kidding. My feet are literally the size of Red Woods. I go between a 10 and 11. That is ridiculous. I'm only 5'7!

I was definitely meant to be taller.

"As if, I want to be 5'9, just like Cindy Crawford."

Actually, a couple inches might solve a lot more problems(Or should I say problem areas) than just my oversized, clown feet.

Ok, so I try the shoes on. They fit. They are gorgeous. Ok, just from trying them on, my feet started to ache, but I'm not worried about pain at this point. All I can see is the slimming effect they have on my calves, which let me assure you is a hard feat to accomplish. (Once my college roommate asked me if I had elephantitis of the calves. It's bad, ok. Another time, my little brother Robbie told me he was jealous of how big my calves are. He's 6'2 and 240lbs. It's really bad. One time, in high school, Zach and I were messing around with a pool diving ring, he put it on his leg and over his jeans it went all the way up to his mid thigh, I was wearing shorts and bare skinned, the pool ring got stuck, mid-calf. I wish I was joking. Need I go on?).

We look at the price, it's ok. Definitely cheaper than it has been, but still nothing I would spend money on.


And then I realize, they are 50% off the lowest marked price. Holla! I mean, angels sang a chorus from above, doves were released in the back ground and everything became softly lit and slightly glowing around me.

Of course we had to buy them.

And then Zach told me I could still order the dress online. Which will look perfect with my new heels.

Trust me, food is not the only way to a man's heart. (Am I right, ladies???)

But my favorite part of the story is after we got home, I of course tried them on immediately, and was doing things like the laundry, and putting my kids to bed in them, walking around with these gorgeous heels and my sweats on.

Although, I do have to say, it's awkward to do things from that altitude. I'm pretty sure if I would have reached my max height, I would seriously be the clumsiest person alive. Like wayyy worse than I am now. And that is a very scary thought.

So, after ten minutes of this, I have to take them off. I walk into the bedroom where Zach is playing Fifa and I say, I am definitely going to have to practice in those. Like build up a tolerance. (A lot of times I'll do things like vaccuum and clean the bathroom in a new set of heels just to break them in and train my feet in them.)

And Zach laughs at me. He is always the one who is like, "Other girls walk just fine in heels, what's wrong with your feet?" Or, at the end of the night, after I've been complaining for an hour that my feet are killing me, he will say, "Other girls feet are fine, what's wrong with yours?"

And I always, always assure him that its not just me, that in fact, all girls' feet kill them at the end of the night! They might not be as clumsy as me, but they are definitely not walking a tight rope either.

So, since Zach wasn't doing anything important, I took off the heels and demanded that he try them on for size.

He will take a challenge and since his feet are the same size as mine, if not a lot narrower, he did. He maybe walked the length of our bedroom. Sat down. Took them off. And said, "Why would any girl, ever wear those?" Like totally exasperated.

I said, "I know!"

He said, "No seriously, why would any girl ever where those?"

And I said, "Because of boys like you."

Am I right? Plus they look fabulous. I'm including pictures of them. You may not be as in love with them as I am, I'm no fashionista. How could I be, when my shoe budget is generally four dollars? And they are a designer that I'm kind of embarrassed to admit I like. Let's just say she makes fantastic bags and shoes and she understands a girl like me.

And no, it's not Baby Phat.

What I should have taken a picture of though, was Zach walking around in my heels. That would have really driven home the point. Shoot.

I will say this about my Zach, he sure does know how to solve the cold feet issue.