Bermuda, Jamaica, Oooh I want to Blog.

Beach Boys anyone?

Love it. Actually, if I'm going to be honest with you, it was really Robbie who loved them! Oh my word, borderline obsession growing up.

So I know like 99% of the songs by heart and can bust them out at any moment. Such as the song is really Barb Barb Barb, Barb Barb Barbara Anne. Not Bop Bop Bop, Bop Bop Boppa Anne. You knew that? Explain it to my husband. :)

And I do have to say, those were my favorite Full House episodes, you know, when the Beach Boys were on and they would have like huge concerts at the end of the show and all of the Tanners would get to be on stage with them.

Isn't it funny how you love things when you're little and then you grow up and gain a little perspective and it's like: Really? I liked that? Or: Um, that is super creepy now that I'm older.

I of course am talking about Bob Sagot. He is a huge creeper in real life; not at all the lovable, single dad, Danny Tanner, who solves problems and sets realistic boundaries for Deej and Steph.

At least John Stamos turned out all right, minus the divorce.

But look at Candace Kameron, didn't she have an eating disorder or something?

Jodi Sweeton was this total drug addict. You can read all about it in her memoir. (I should get like advertising credits for that. And by credits, I mean money.)

And look at the Olsen Twins, the poor girls are homeless.

Ok, fine. They are not homeless, they are super super mega rich. BUT, only because their parents were so greedy when they were infants. Well that and as it turns out incredibly business smart even at the ripe old age of like 10.

Do you remember all of those countdown clocks to the Olsen Twins turning 18? Oh. Gross.

Another one is the Donut Man. Have you heard of him? If you haven't, you need to google or youtube him or something.

But anyways, I remember him from my childhood as this awesome song and dance man. For Easter, my mom ordered the girls like six of his DVD's and don't get me wrong, they are totally great for the girls. And Stella loves them.


Maybe it's because I'm older, or once again have a little more perspective, or maybe ok, maybe because I'm a little jaded but the man looks like a total creeper.

He's super skinny(I generally don't trust super skinny people, it's like why are you so skinny? Are you afraid of food?) (Ok, none of that is true by the way, I have no opinion on super skinny people.). But he's also usually wearing an over sized plaid shirt and overalls, so I just can't explain to you how skinny they make him look.

And really, that wouldn't even be an issue if it weren't for the number one characteristic that tends to define every creeper OR at least give the illusion of a creepiness to perfectly nice and normal people.

The Mustache.

When are men going to learn? It just doesn't work. I'm sorry, I'm going to be honest here, it doesn't work.

A man with a mustache walks to the park where I am at with my children and my guard goes straight up. High alert.

A man with a mustache wants to talk to my children, I'm sorry sir that just isn't going to happen.

A mustache equals like Defcon 5. Code Yellow: An extremely high threat of terrorism.

My finger is on the 9 of my cell phone ready at any moment to finish with the 1 1.

I realize this is only a girls perspective. Zach totally doesn't get it. He talks about growing a mustache like every day.

And I'm like sure, grow a mustache and then drive our beat up, rusted out, tinted windowed van around. That's an awesome idea.

Tom Selleck got lucky, ok? The majority of men and woman have trouble pulling the mustache look off. That's just the facts.

So anyways.

Yesterday, I went crazy.

Like, I certifiably lost my mind somewhere between a catatonic state and complete and utter panic.

This week has just been really, really, super hard.

Mainly because I don't have a car, so I've been stranded at home for days. And then Scarlett has decided it's time for puberty and she needs to yell at me every second of the day. (Although, she is being super sweet right now, so I can't complain completely.) But seriously, she has been this HUGE handful. And then to top it off there are a LOT of decisions in my life right now. Like a ton. And, making a decision in general stresses me out.

Seriously, I can feel stress from having to decide what gas station I need to fill up at or which DVRed show to watch first. I'm not good at decisions if you haven't picked up on that before, so a long list of them is the perfect pill for a major freak out.

Which is what happened yesterday.

I think at one point I called Zach and demanded that he come home immediately.

He of course didn't, and in reality couldn't.

But he did take me out later.

Actually, it was really my mom who saved me. She sent over reinforcements and then babysat for us while we went to look at cars! (We have to look at cars because we need a new one.)

She was definitely my hero last night, her and her friend Katie saved me from a major nervous breakdown.

I totally felt one coming on. Do you think that's normal? Like, crazy people in general are like "I am about T minus 5 minutes from completely going nuts." And then BAM: They are bananas. Certifiably Crazy.

That's totally how I was though. And then there was help. And then Scarlett did the sweetest thing where she hummed this cute little note and then kissed us with an adorable little "Muah" sound at the end.

And Stella tried to take care of her little sister and keep her out of trouble. And was the sweetest little thing in the world! And told us she wanted us to buy a purple car.

And I was like, Oh yea, this is why I'm a mom. This is what makes all of the other stuff worth it. And then I had some adult time. And a giant Margarita. And talked to my husband whom I haven't seen all week because he's been working on the car every night. And then things got a little better, and then a little better and then a little better.

So, Zach and I went car shopping. It's not all that it's cracked up to be.

Especially since Zach's master plan was to go to the Lots after they were closed and walk around. Did you know you could do that? I didn't. I for sure thought they were going to think we were casing joint. But apparently, according to Zach, they want you to do that.

And we wanted to avoid pushy sales personnel. Unfortunately, the way it looked to us was that salesmen never leave. At one Lot, there was this guy who watched us pull in, walked over to our moving car to wave at us and then followed us from row to row as we drove up and down them. We were afraid to get out of the car. And then at another lot, they had the lights all dimmed so it looked like no one was there. But we saw them. Oh yea, we saw them.

But we found a lot of stuff we liked. A lot of dream cars. Hmmm.... One day.

Until then, I'm just going to have to figure out this whole motherhood thing again. And again. And again. And hopefully keep my sanity in between.

Or at least some minuscule resemblance of sanity.


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  1. i think candace cameron is normal... i never heard about an eating disorder. she got married when she was like 19, they are still married.

  2. ps... i have been waiting all week for that picture of the girls on easter... where is it? or are you a liar? you know where liars go, rach?