Noah's Blog

Ok, I have a really dorky question.

Like, I know I'm a total nerd! I try t hide it behind shallow movies and Valley-Girl speech, but when it comes down to it I love puzzles and old school Nintendo.


So Zach is all about going to sleep with the TV on. He can't fall asleep without it. For oh, the first two years it drove me crazy. Like bananas. Because I would dream about the weirdest stuff.

But then I learned to cut out the weirdo cartoons and stick to stuff less invasive to dream about: Seinfeld, Arrested Development, Dave Chappelle Show. Stuff that is fun to watch, but after I'm asleep I'm not dreaming that Meatwad and Shake are going to take over the Universe and I have to stop them with Carl as my sidekick. (Aqua Team Hunger Force, for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about and as much as I like it, ok it's totally on the bizarre side.)

So. Skip ahead to present day. We now have Netflix. I love Netflix. Love it. Zach and I are terrible. Terrible. About returning DVD's. So this kind of solves all of our problems. And they have the streaming movies through Xbox and Playstation. So, because we don't have Cable in our bedroom, the Xbox solves those problems.

Wow. A lot of useless information there.

Moving on.

Zach, lately has been getting into stuff like Survivor Man. Which, I don't mind, because like I told him last night: I am hoping that while I'm falling asleep to Survivor Man, my subconscious brain is still absorbing the valuable information so that one day while I'm stranded in the worst possible case scenario I will just magically know what to do.

Makes sense, right?

We'll see.

Ok, but last night, he was super excited because he had found a new series. And I can't remember the name of it right now, it's like The Summit, or, Everest. Or something like that. But basically it is a documentary type reality show about real people climbing to the Summit of Mount Everest. They follow them to their journey at Base Camp and then to Advanced Base Camp or ABC as they call it on the show. And all the while they are interviewing, the narrator is giving out interesting facts about how difficult the climb actually is.

I was getting really into it, and I was having trouble actually falling asleep. Because of things like once they men reach ABC, they are struck with serious, serious altitude sickness. I mean seriously, they are puking everywhere, they can't get up to go to the bathroom, they can't breath, they are all whispering because they can't catch their breath, and they start to lose their voices because of how dry the air is.

That is only Advanced Base Camp. There are four more camps before they even reach the camp that will lead them to the Summit. I mean that's crazy! And there were people from all over the world who actually want to do this!

There was one guy on there, it was his second time back. He had attempted to climb a year ago, but at ABC, I guess one of the symptoms is lack of sleep, for whatever reason, I'm not sure if it's the lack of oxygen or the altitude sickness or something else entirely, it is very difficult to sleep. Well, this guy hadn't slept in 8 days and it was getting dangerous for him to even stay alive at that point.

Ok, this is turning into a really long case for a point. Goodness.

So, we got all this back information and then the narrator starts talking about what its like on the actual Summit. That any skin exposed for longer then 40 seconds begins to freeze and runs an instant risk of frostbite, that the oxygen is so thin without an oxygen tank the brain begins to "Crash" and that the body is so resistant to the suffering the Summit puts it through, it is obviously both deadly and torturous.

Finally to my question.

What about Noah and The Ark?

Were you expecting that?

But seriously, ok, the Flood waters rose for 40 days and 40 nights, higher than the highest peak. That would be Everest. Even if Everest didn't exist before the flood, the flood would have caused it's creation. Right? So, Noah and his family and all of these animals are that high above our modern idea of Sea Level without oxygen, without modern breathing equipment, without heat(It's raining and they're surrounded by water), and without Dramamine.

I mean, that seems out of control to me. Those climbers last night, were suffering. Like Completely and Utterly, but they had a purpose, they had a goal. Did Noah even realize what would happen to his body at that altitude? And then, I mean, did he ever think he would get back down to solid ground?

It took 40 days to raise the sea level, Which by the way, God would have taken care of the issue or rising to that altitude slowly. As it turns out if you just go from Sea Level to the Summit of Mount Everest your brain instantly swells and you die. So God brought them there slowly, allowing their bodies to adjust as the waters rose.

But what about floating at the top of the sky until the waters were able to recede. I can't remember how long that took, but it was definitely longer than 40 days and 40 nights.

And what about the movement taking place underneath the waters surface. Ok, wasn't the entire surface of the earth reconstructed? Mountains created, Oceans formed, Continents divided? Maybe I have my Bible facts wrong, but it seems to me that's the whole Creationist argument for fossils and the separate continents and our mountains and valleys and all of that.

Was it like a year of constant earth quakes just underneath the water? Or were they so high up they couldn't even feel it? I mean, let's be real here, I can't imagine having severe altitude sickness, not being able to breath, freezing cold temperatures and then throwing sea-sickness on there to boot.

Plus all of the animals and their beautiful smell.


God was not joking around with Noah. Not at all.

And then, when they reached the ground(I've always wondered this, and I know it's kind of sick, so prepare yourselves...) were there like dead bodies, like both human and animal, everywhere? Or did God have the earth swallow them up to save Noah from that trauma?

Ok, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the Flood seems impossible to me. Well, ok, in my logical mind it does, and it should, that stuff just doesn't happen every day. And, I'm not saying I don't believe that God can't provide, because that's not the point.

My question is, how DID God Provide?

In my extensive research of the Bible, ok, in my limited knowledge of what He has accomplished, God rarely has us walking around with a magical bubble of protection or in Noah's case Sea Level Oxygen. Not that He's not capable of such feats, but that we are human, He created us this way, so He works with us in the same way.

Like for example, He made the Flood last for 40 days and 40 nights. Sure there is significance in the number and it probably took that long for the rain to reach that level, but also by making the waters rise slowly he prevented Noah and his family and all of the animals brains' from exploding and their eyes popping out of their heads. So.... How did he provide for Noah's other needs?

I'm really asking here.

Maybe I'll have to wait to heaven, or maybe someday smarter than me(Which shouldn't be hard to find) can answer my questions. Who knows.

That was a strange blog.

Sorry, I'm a product of Christian High School and Bible College, and so sometimes I like to think of myself as an amateur theologian. Just kidding.

I have no idea why I have these thoughts.


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