Well, I have avoided this blog all day because I was afraid I would turn it into this crazy, outrageous political soapbox. And I didn't want that at all.

For your sake.

And for mine.

I didn't want to come off sounding like an angry, pissed off conservative. And I didn't want you to have to listen to it.

Plus, if you remember at the beginning of this whole adventure, Zach predicted that it was only a matter of time before I began ranting and raving about all of my core political ideals, trying my best to persuade everyone and anyone who will listen to adhere to my line of thinking.

Obviously that is impossible.

And, in truth, not at all my desire.


So. All of that to say, it might take all of my will power, BUT, I'll leave Obamacare for a different day and a different blog.

But have no fear, I will totally let you know if I start a whole new blog dedicated entirely to politics. Which I am definitely tempted to do. Although, I think the safer, more consciousness route is to type it all up and save it to Microsoft Word Document for my eyes only and call it good. Ha.

Anyways. So now I'm not sure what to talk about.

Ok, real time, I have started three separate topics now and erased every time. I have like writer's block, only since I'm not a real writer, I guess it's called "Blogger's Block?" Oh man, that's a good title.

Maybe tomorrow if I keep this up, it will only be a title. Yikes.

The problem is, I really want to talk about something, but I've already told you I can't. Unfortunately it's the only thing on my mind. So now, I'm stuck.

Just talk about i,t you say? Stop acting weird, you say? Nope. I'm not falling for that trick!

Here's something. What is it about people that makes us want to connect? What makes us talk to other people? Seriously.

I am just as guilty, if not more guilty than most people, but still I can't figure it out. I mean, seriously. Even people we know, what is the point of talking? It's all awkward. Why do we enjoy awkward?

I'm not talking about our closest friends, or people we are comfortable with. I'm talking about, uncomfortable, awkward conversations and relationships that we choose to enter into time after time after time.

Today, I had a meeting with our Financial Advisor(I know. It totally sounds grown up, but you know me. I'm still the same, old G. :)) and it's like an entire hour of awkward-trying-to-feel-comfortable-some-serious-some-small-talk-conversing that truthfully, exhausts me.

I was hoping Zach could make the meeting with me. But of course, he totally flaked out. Again.

Just kidding.

He had a super important meeting or something like that.

So there I was, left to my own devices. I know I gave the guy wayyy too much information, and undoubtedly threw in a few inappropriate comments(Those are usually a guarantee if you're talking with me.) and unfortunately have already forgotten most of the key talking points(Luckily I wrote them down. Damn you Diet Coke.).

It happened the other day too!

There was a woman at the house(She was invited. That sounds weird how I wrote it...) and we were having a conversation while I was cooking dinner.

Ok, I am not bad at small talk. I'm actually pretty good at it. I mean, you might walk away feeling totally harassed or insulted or in some cases, informed, but at least you will get an interesting conversation. Right?

But ok, I could not figure out the path of this conversation. I really, really struggled. She would pause, and I would wait for more, all the while she is waiting for me to respond. I would respond and she would say, no, no, no that's not what I meant, this is what I meant, and I would respond to that and she would tell me I got it wrong again. I mean. It was bad.

Zach heard a little bit of it and left the room laughing at me.

I could not keep up, or anticipate where we were going. She took me on a roller coaster, no a corn maze, in the dark, on a cloudy night, without stars, and nine foot tall corn stalks. I was walking, completely blind the entire time.

And no matter my feelings for this woman, whether good or bad, I kept thinking to myself, why am I even bothering with this conversation? I mean, there should have been some point in the middle of all of this fiasco, when we should have both looked at each other and walked away. I mean, the convo was done and rotting and here we are trying to push this terrible-ness farther.

Why can't we always do that. Instead of dragging awkwardness out unnecessarily, why don't we just look at each, and say, "You know what, this is going no where. I'm outie." Like in a kind, unhurtful way though.

I would save myself a lot of trouble. I can tell you that much.