Blog Du Jour

I think I have Seasonal Depression.

Or I'm sorry, what's it called? SAD.. Seasonal Affective Disorder.

It could also be because I live in a windowless basement.

Anyways, I have been aching for the sun lately, and I've been getting it, but it doesn't seem to be enough! I need it warm enough to actually take the kids out in. But once out where would we play? The driveway? Kind of our only option right now, and for a while. There's too much snow. It's never going to melt and if it does everything is going to be muddy and gross until, oh about July or so.

Also, I hate life.

Just kidding. Let me start over.

This was taking a turn for the depressing and let me just say, I am sorry.

Good morning!

If you read that with enthusiasm in your head, then congratulations, because that is exactly how I meant it.

We've got to do something to wake me up here! Before I start plotting my ultimate ruin and turning to things similarly depressing like Communism and Universal Health Care. (Say it's not so!)

So, let's forget all about what a long week this has been. Let's forget about the fact, that as it turns out I wasn't really meant to work a 40 hour week. ( I don't like it. Not at all.) Let's put strep and puking and diarrhea and the fact that my one year old hates me and refuses to sleep through the night behind us. Let's not focus on the terrible reality that I have to work tomorrow.

No. It's out of my system now. And I'm tired of talking about myself. Totally sick of hearing about it.

Let's instead talk about how I can't stand John Mayer.

Just kidding. But he was in town last night. And sure, his radio singles are good enough, but have you ever tried to watch the man play the guitar? It's just a little bit disturbing... Plus, he's kind of a mean guy. Well according to Perez Hilton anyways. :)

You might be happy to hear that I gave up celebrity gossip for Lent however, and so I don't actually know what PH is saying these days.

I can't dedicate an entire blog to John Mayer, I'm already bored, falling asleep actually. Kind of the same effect that Your Body is A Wonderland has on me.

I'm not the mushy type remember?

But fine, he is a really good musician. I'll admit that. He can really play the guitar. And if I can appreciate Ben Folds just for being able to play the piano like a master, then I will have to appreciate John Mayer as well. Even if their songs are really irritating.

Guess what's not all that great of a show. Parenthood.

Maybe you already new this, but I just caught up with the DVR last night and I was not impressed. First of all, I was expecting funny.

What I was not expecting, was a total cry fest. Thanks in large part to a neglecting father, a child just recently diagnosed with Autism and Coach who is more of a mean-hearted old grump than the laughable-easy-going-guy we all remember him as.

So, not funny at all. In fact, kind of lame. Lauren Graham still thinks she's on Gilmore Girls and has to talk a million miles per minute. And the girl from Swim Fan cut off all of her hair and wears weird shades of lipstick. All in all, I give the show a solid.... C........ Minus. So, I'm afraid I will not be tuning back in for that one.

This is not getting any less depressing. I need a drink.

Ok, fine. It's only 9 AM, but hey, it's Five O'clock somewhere right?

Let's think happy thoughts.....

I can tell I'm tired.

I like to think of myself as an optimist.... but I'm a little lacking today.

I've been a little lacking.. a lot lately.

Ok, funny story time. Let's pull out an oldy, but a goody.

I can be a little bit of a ditz. Just a little bit.... And it's not that I'm completely lacking a brain, it's more like I don't look at the big picture. I see things in black and white and I don't think things all the way through. Or at all. But sometimes, just sometimes, I like to blame it on the fact that I am very, very unlucky.

So, when I was in high school I got a job working at Arby's. I was a good little employee, I followed the rules, I was nice to everyone, I tried not to screw up too often.

I would work a lot of days after school, during the dinner rush. And you would not believe how busy Arby's gets during dinner! I mean crazy.

Especially when they used to have those 5 for $5 deals(They may still have them, I don't know.). I mean, come on, everybody loves a cheap roast beef sandwich, right?

So during one of those especially busy evenings in the fall, when it happened to be dumping rain and the line of cars was wrapped around the building, the lobby was equally as busy. I was working my station, minding my own business, taking change and checking checks(Because this was before Fast Food Restaurants accepted credit cards), my manager asked me to take a break to take out the trash.

I nodded my head and enthusiastic "yes," too afraid to complain about the fact that I'm a girl, and trash is a man's business and that it's raining cats and dogs outside and I didn't have a coat. Surely my manager had his reasons for picking me and who am I to argue with authority.

I went about my busy little task of rounding up the trash bags from all over the store and lugging them through the kitchen and out the back door.

The back door was especially hard to push open because the rain had turned into gusts of wind, turning the rain sideways so it hit you directly in the face and the door was practically nailed shut thanks to the wind. I pushed through, my trash bags by my side the entire way.

The dumpster was across the driveway and about fifty yards away. I put my head down, using my sweet Arby's baseball cap to shield my face and marched my way towards the fenced in dumpster.

I set the bags down for just a moment, turning to glance back at the long line of cars waiting for their Wednesday night Roast Beef and Curly Fries, with a possible Jamocha Shake on the side before struggling to pull open the large wooden fence doors and jam the door stopper into the concrete.

I picked my plastic bags full of discarded food and Arby's sauce and fought the wind and rain into the enclosed space.

Over the smelly, green, grimy dumpster I flung those bags, one at a time. They were heavy and the dumpster was full. Dirty water dripped down on my maroon, collared shirt as the clear plastic went up and over my head.

Finally, I got to the last bag. Proud of the work I felt I had accomplished quickly and efficiently. I picked up the last bag, with a smile on my face, ready to run back into the warmth and safety of the building when crash. The dumpster door, I had so cleverly forced into the cement, slammed shut from a gust of gale force winds.

Faithful to my duty, I forced the last trash bag into the dumpster and turned around to stare at what was now my prison, dejected and afraid.

What was I going to do now?

The fence was at least 10 feet tall, without any ledges or foot holdings for me to climb over. There was no other way out besides the door that had trapped me behind the gross, stinking(Literally) dumpster filled prison.

I was trapped.

I tried to jump up, waving my hands and shouting at the drive-thru. But it was no use. My voice was carried away in the wind and let's face it, the chances of my hands actually reaching over the height of the fence are pretty doubtful.

I had no other choice. Well, first I started laughing, this was absolutely ridiculous. Then I started pacing. Weighing my options, hoping somebody would notice my absence. No such luck, apparently I was both disposable and forgettable to the Arby's Corporation. In the end, I did the only thing I could.

I climbed up the dumpster. Using the sliding window slot and roof for footings and to pull myself up. I rubbed that nasty, greasy, disgusting dumpster all over my clothes and made it to the top. Once on the unstable, and threatening to collapse plastic roof I pulled myself over(there was a little leap involved that I'm not proud of) to the fence, slung myself over the top and slid down the wet wood to the safe pavement on the other side.

I ran, more like sprinted, back inside to the warm, dry, non-dumpster-smelling building to a group of guys waiting for my return.

"Are you ok?" they all asked me at once.

"Um, I don't know." I said, shivering, smelling like garbage and soaked through my clothes. "I got trapped in the dumpster." My teeth chattering all the while.

"Oh yea, we saw you." The five or so guys replied, barely able to contain their laughter.


"Yea, we thought you did that on purpose." One of the guys spoke up.


"Yea, we thought you were just taking your time."

Are you kidding me? Bastards. And the kicker was. I still had to finish my shift. The wet garbage dog look was not even enough to get me sent home.

But the good news: Lesson Learned.


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  1. lollllllll i'm laughing so hard I shed a few tears. Thank God I wasn't in class to read this one!!! :)

  2. i loved parenthood. i don't think we can be friends anymore.

    and i didn't know you were working... what is going on here?

  3. I loved parenthood too....maybe you need toi be a mushball??? I wondered about the working thing too...... almost a year old already too.....I better catch up soon!!--Carol