The Blog Beyond

I dreamed this title.

I know, that scares me too.

I think the problem was, I didn't get hardly any sleep last night, so weird parts of my day started to integrate themselves into my dreams.

I dreamed that Scarlett woke up and then screamed for almost an hour.

Oh wait, that happened.

And I dreamed that Stella woke up after Scar was back down, grabbed a bunch of toys, brought them to my bed, crawled in and started playing with them, sometime after 3 but before 4.

Oh wait, that happened too.

And it was bizarre. She was playing princesses in the middle of the night. I think she was fully awake, but now that I think about it maybe she was sleep walking. I'm not a good judge of circumstances during the night(I'm more like a fumbling, stumbling zombie) so who knows.

And then, after Stella was in bed with us, and I gave up on any REM type sleep for the night, I started having very bizarre dreams, like blog titles, and what I was going to dress the girl's in today and how I thought I should have gotten the mail yesterday, but didn't. And then, instead of sleeping or dreaming, I became afraid of the alarm clock.

Oh you read that right.

I have this unexplainable and irrational fear of..... Alarm Clocks.

This is no joke, totally weird, but no joke. If I have to set an alarm clock for the next morning, I am always unable to sleep the night before. I toss and turn, I glance at the clock every several minutes(Which is not easy because it's on Zach's side and sits quite a bit lower then he does), I will have to pee like five times more than usual, AND I am always, always scared to fall asleep and have that blasting, irritating, beep, beep, beep or buzz, buzz, buzz sound wake me from a dead sleep.

I have a pretty sharp pineal gland(Is that right? I feel like I'm making that up.). But anyways, I'm pretty good at telling myself to wake up at a certain time and I almost always will.

But this week we've been having problems. Since Scarlett has been up, screaming so much, I have been more than my usual exhausted and have woken twice to a knock on the door that is Dora the Explorer's dad dropping her off in the morning.

This usually means, I shoot out of bed with cat-like reflexes(Or at least in my head, I can only imagine what I look like in real life), throw on a sweatshirt, sprint up the stairs all while throwing my hair into a bun on the top of my head, rub under my eyes just to make sure there's no left over eyeliner or smudged mascara and throw open the door with a smile on my face(Although, since I haven't brushed my teeth yet, it's not a big smile. I know. Gross.).

It's not a pretty sight. Not at all. Although I can say, I don't feel as bad for making them stand in 40 degrees as I would had it been two months ago and I would have opened the door to a bunch of frozen people(Think Hans Solo in Star Wars. You know, when they freeze him and then give him to Jaba the Hut.). They must think I am a total weirdo.

And now so do you, after that Star Wars reference.

What if I had a real job?

I don't even want to think about it. Let's move on. Oh, I feel sick now.

Just kidding. :)

Ok, so last night, Zach and I set three alarm clocks, just to make sure I would be up. Our phones and the regular alarm clock we set twice. So, not that I was in that deep of a sleep anyways, but 6:50 comes around and bells and whistles start going off everywhere. We slam our hands down in their respective places and roll back over. The same thing starts again at 7:05. And this time we struggle a little bit more to turn them off quickly. Stella has been jarred awake in the most abrupt fashion and I feel like I about had a heart-attack.

This is why I hate alarm clocks.

So anyways, Stella and I make it upstairs, snuggle in the recliner and Dora and her Papi(Because that's what the real Dora the Explorer calls her dad) don't show up until 8.

I feel like going, ba dump, dump, dump. (Like the drums, after a bad joke. Get it?)

So today is St. Patricks Day! Happy St. Patty's Day!

I love this holiday. It's my most fave.

And it's not just the beer... Although I do love beer. It's the whole atmosphere of community and celebrating the Irish. I just love it.

Well, I'm Irish. Not wholly, but mostly. And not that my Irish-ness has anything to do with the traditions from the Old Country(Please read this with a certain degree of sarcasm), but I can still pretend. We all wear green. I even bought Zach a new t-shirt. He's pretty excited about it. (It's a green Nebraska Husker's t-shirt, with the N inside of a shamrock.) The girls will wear matching green shirts. And me? I don't have any clue what I will wear today, but you can guarantee that it will be green.

As soon as I'm finished with this, I will go prepare the corned beef and cabbage and get it in the old crock pot(This in itself is an exciting prospect for me, because that means I don't have to worry about dinner later. Holla.) Even AJ(Dora) wore a green shirt today that lights up when you push a button!

I mean, who doesn't love this holiday?

Plus it's one of the only holidays I've never been pregnant on. That in itself is a holiday. Well, that and Easter, but I would much prefer a Boulevard Irish over a Bloody Mary any day!

Is the question running through your head right now, "Do all of her Holidays revolve around drinking?"

The answer is yes, of course they do. Well, except when I'm pregnant. What kind of mother do you think I am? :) Just kidding.

But seriously, they do.

Ok, ok, ok. To clear my good name, it's not like they revolve around getting drunk.... more like they revolve around a special or certain kind of drink for the day.

Like, Fourth of July is beer, specifically Summer Shandy. Halloween, it's all about the October Fest. Thanksgiving = Wine, although this year Zach made a special blend of Riot Punch. Christmas is also wine, or eggnog, or again with the riot punch. New Years is obviously champagne and so is Valentine's day. President's Day is shots to commemorate the destruction of this country(Just kidding, I don't celebrate President's Day that way, at least I haven't yet....), St. Patty's is red beer and Easter is Bloody Mary's. Oh and the respective Mother's Day, Father's Day are celebrated with mimosas at brunch.

How could I forget Cinco De Mayo???? My second favorite holiday. Not Mexican you say? So what, I drink Margarita's with the best of them!

See? Those aren't even my rules. Ok, some of them are us-specific. But a lot of those, are common tradition.

I don't know how I got on a liquor kick, but somehow it seems appropriate to celebrate the day!

Even if you totally think I'm an alcoholic now.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.


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1 comment:

  1. I cannot IMAGINE who raised this woman! Since when are holidays about the alcoholic drink?!?!?!?! What happened to mint green milkshakes for St. Patricks and lemonade on the 4th of July? Sigh. There must be traditions other than drinking connected to your holidays!?! You are sooo Irish!