Blog Badness

Instead of March Madness. Get it?


I feel almost perfect right now. I can hear the Husker's Women's Basketball Game in the background, I am sitting in front of the open screen door and the breeze is perfectly cool, but the sun is perfectly warm and my children are just outside playing with their dad and Uncle Ry Ry(Our name for Zach's 9 year old brother Ryan.).

Zach is attempting to teach Stella the basics of soccer, but keeps getting interrupted by an over aggressive Ryan trying to show is older brother what he's made of and a tiny little Scarlett who can barely see over the soccer ball but wanting to join in the fun all the same.

Sometimes to be my proudest as a mother, all I have to do is sit back and watch my little family in action. And I know, every mother can claim this, and should claim this, but since it's my blog, I get to say that I have the most beautiful children and husband in the world. For me, everything else comes in second place.

That is a good reminder. I know right now you're expecting something about my family and that, but I'm done boasting, I can move on. What I mean, is that is a good reminder that this is my blog. Not anybody elses.

I find myself in the same old position of having to apologize for who I am. Which, don't get me wrong, I'm not going to. Oh no. Not this time. If you don't like who I am on this blog, then stop reading. Because as it turns out, I do like who I am on this blog.

In fact, this is exactly who I am. There is no special blog personality, or hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet or written words without a face. This is me.

Most of the time, I'm having a conversation with myself that would not change had there been a person instead of a computer on the other side.

And in all reality, if we are being quite candid, there is more to me than the blog. I mean in terms of personality. I'll admit it, I hold back. I have to, to protect certain people, or my marriage, or heck, parts of me that are too ugly to be shown to the unknown universe.

So, since I have been confronted for the second time within one month, I figure it requires a blog dedication to remind those people out there that have been confused, or at least those two people out there that have been confused, what I am really all about.

Recently, I have been accused of being a drunk with a dirty mouth. (She said she likes to drink while cursing like a sailor, I asked her where she got her mouth and if she had a tailor.... throw back to that DC Talk blog. Booya.)

The truth is, that's not the case. I'm neither a drunk. Nor do I use excessive profanity. If you truly know me, you know that. What you think are revelations found through the inner most confessions of my soul, were in fact attempts at humor, apparently poor attempts. I also believe you are reading more into what you find to be offensive because you want to, instead of looking at the majority of the less-offensive content.

Maybe, I am blind to myself. But it seems that even the profane words I do choose to use, could be considered the lesser of expletives. I haven't used the F word yet. Maybe you should be thanking me for that instead of judging me for the others.

The most hurtful thing said to me yet however has been, that what is shown on my blog is "not very pretty." In other words: ugly.

I don't even know how to apologize for that, so I'm not going to. If you find this blog ugly, simply stop reading it. This is who I am. I'm not a drunk, but I do like to drink. It doesn't define who I am, but it occasionally may define a night out. I'm not a girl that has a mouth like a sailor, but occasionally I will use a mild curse word to prove a point or hope to make a joke. If you would like to truly be offended I can bring worse words, but the truth is, I wouldn't because I really do believe that there are certain words a "lady" doesn't use. And if you find me ugly on this blog, there is no stopping you from finding me ugly in person. I don't hide who I am very well, so if it has taken you this long to figure it out, I don't know what else to tell you.

The first thing I do when someone has attacked me is blame myself. As pathetic as that sounds, I always believe it is my fault and must be a general consensus.

I had an epiphany last night and shared with Zach, that I believe, "When people really get to know me, like really get to know me, they stop liking me."

Zach says to me, in his perfect way, "I like you."

And it's true. He does like me, and he knows me better than anyone! I like him too. That's why we fit so well together. Sure we love each other. But also, we like each other.

And then I got to thinking. If he likes me, so do other people, because Zach doesn't like anybody. He is the hardest person to convince. The most difficult judge and jury. So if he likes me, other people do too. Right?

I know, it's totally pathetic.

But in truth, I've lost a lot of friends in my day, and so the self-argument is necessary.

When it was finished, I came to this conclusion. I can't care anymore if I offend people. I'm bound to. I say a lot of dumb stuff. So if I offend you, my best advice is to deal with it and get over it, or stop reading my blog because emotionally I can't apologize and feel bad about everything and everyone. That defeats the entire purpose of why I am writing this. And if in the end, you can't sort through the humor and sarcasm and discover who I really am. At the end of it all if I am still an ugly person, then it sounds like your issue. Not mine.

I know this is more of an open letter than an actual blog, so sorry to the rest of you that had to sit through it, but it's something I needed to say.

The end.


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  1. I LOVE it Rachel. Love it. I feel like SO many people are so caught up with worrying about what people think of them, they begin to write what they think people want to hear... and that is just ridiculous. I like who you are, and i find your OCCASIONAL curse words funny... because to me, it's really just a word. And really, you place them so well. And GOOD FOR YOU on being honest and real (you know how I feel about that!) You nor your blog are ugly in ANY form and it offends me that someone would say that about you. They're lame. Yep - whoever you are - you are lame & need to be knocked off your high horse.
    I love your blogs. They make me laugh EVERY time. Just a few words of encouragement.. we all need them sometimes. We're our own worst critic. Keep up being you... because you are awesome!

  2. Miriah you are SO sweet! Thank you! I did need to hear those words, they mean so much! I love your blogs too which by the way, you need a new one! It's been a while. You can't just slack off, you have readers out there!! :)

  3. i like you, and i pretty much don't like anyone either...