Better Off Bloged

Ok. Wow. What a morning.

I have two extra kids here today and let me tell you, it is quite a bit more work! The oldest child is Stella's age, so she just blends right in.

But the second child? He is a baby. Like 4 or 5 months old. And he is not having it here. He let's me know just how much he loves his mother, by reminding me almost every second that I'm not his mother. Not by any means.

He cried for like an hour straight this morning. Finally, I remembered my baby swing, but then it took me forever to pull it out of the storage room(If you've seen our storage room, you would know that that is the reason Zach and I have to move, it is totally bursting at the seams. I was like a Human Tetris trying to drag that darn, awkward swing out of there!) So I finally get it out, put the screaming child into the swing only to discover that it had no batteries! Awesome.

He continues to scream. I continue to search frantically for D batteries. As it turns out, we don't just have a surplus of those laying around.

But seriously? Who can keep up with batteries? Not me. I mean, between Zach's Xbox controller, the kid's toys, all of the thousands of remotes we have laying around the house and the different cameras there is no end to the need we have of batteries! And it's not like they're cheap. They are expensive. And when they go on sale, it's like, oh here's 30 cents off your value pack of 100 batteries that are going to last you, if you're lucky, a whole week.

That's the stock to buy in. Batteries.

Except maybe I'll invent a battery-less way to run toys. Like solar powered toys... or hydrogen powered toys or something. Hey, if they can do it to cars, surely, they can do it to the things that really need it. Like Tickle Me Elmo and my Leap Frog Refrigerator Magnets.

Anyways, he calmed down instantly once I got the swinging motion and computerized music in action. And then he was asleep. He was hopefully just tired. Oh my word, hopefully.

They really are super sweet children, so I am just praying they have a good experience here! And I can send him home with the blood vessels in his face still unpopped.... The girls are just playing amazing right now! They're next to me doing girl stuff, like tea parties, and planning birthday celebrations. Adorable.

They are calmed down now as well. The funny thing is they weren't worried about the baby crying, no they were worried about me! I am pretty sure, they thought I was about to lose it. Stella goes, "Are you ok mommy?" And AJ(Dora T. E.) said, "Are you going to be mad at us, you look upset?"

No girls, I'm fine. Just a minor nervous breakdown. But don't worry about it. Happens all the time.

Not really. I just haven't had to deal with a screaming baby in a while. In a very, long while. Scarlett maybe, but do your own kids really count?

No, I mean, I haven't been in charge of a child that didn't like me, in a long, long, long time. Don't get me wrong, I think I'll win him over yet, I can be very charming, but so far he's not convinced.

So I was ok, a little stressed out. My hair might have reached new heights. And fine, I had the crazy eyes going on. But we're good now. Thank God, we are good now.

Tonight, Zach and I are taking another night away. It feels like we've been doing this a lot lately. But I guess not, just one other night? I can't remember. But I am excited! I just love the idea of going away for the whole night!

And not just because it's nice to leave the kids and dark cave we live in behind, it's also nice to focus on our relationship and spend some serious time together, focusing completely on each other.

Ok, we are even going to a marriage seminar. That's the whole reason we are going away. The names is, get this, Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti. Aren't you jealous now?

Doesn't that sound super profound?

We will probably discover the meaning of the Universe and Why Bad Things Happen, to Good People and also, I'm pretty sure about this, but don't quote me, I'm like 80%, The Fountain of Youth.

Ok, just kidding.

I'm just not one for cheesy titles. But I'm sure we will enjoy our time, no matter what the title to the conference is.

I sold Jewelry one year. Like one of those pyramid scheme-home show type deals. I was hoping that it would break me out of the childcare business. I think we can all tell how well that plan worked.

Anyways, I made pretty decent money, I just didn't really like to sell things. I mean, I would look around at all of these women charging jewelry to their credit cards, and hiding purchases from their husbands, and even if I do those things, or my friends and I joke around about doing those things, I just couldn't feel good about being responsible for it. I know. Totally lame.

But you have to remember, I'm an old miser. I rarely spend money on stuff we need(Like light bulbs and gasoline) let alone on stuff I just want. Ha.

Ok, but the point was, each piece of jewelry had a specific assigned name, I mean how impersonal is a number right? So each piece had a name, and I had to memorize them all and use them.

Using all of the cheesy, ridiculous names, was by far the hardest part! I am not one to take things seriously anyways, try calling a necklace by the name of Opulance, or Eternal Desire. It's not easy to do with a straight face. Or the jewelry would have these weird names like, Cocoa and Destiny and Razzle Dazzle. And I was always like, can we please stop naming the jewelry after strippers and strip clubs? I mean, come on, that has to be bad for business.

Let's see here, I'm wearing the Razzle Dazzle earrings, the Amber and Honey necklace, the Brandy Bracelet, the Night Life Pendant and to finish it off, the Happy Endings Anklet(Ok, I made this last one up.). But seriously, out of control!

All that to say, I'm not big on the corny names, but I will give Men are like Waffles, Women are from Venus or whatever the name is, a try and most definitely enjoy my night out with the hubby!


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