Snow Blogger

Because it's snowing. Again.

Referring to yesterday's post, I not only like the fact that we're getting more snow to add to our accumulating inches. But. The fresh snow covers the dirty snow, making everything look so pure and clean again.

Downside. Everything will also be slick and slushy. Again.

So no killer heels tonight(Zach is taking me out for my birthday tonight, because my actual birthday is in the middle of next week. The whole thing is very, very mysterious.). I'll just have to settle for mid-range. Something that's safe to slide in, but still gives me a little height. You know how we do.

I don't actually ever say that.

Although, I do say a lot of ridiculous things. Things I know probably don't make sense coming from my mouth, but most of the time I think they're funny. But then they become habit. And then I walk around sound like a hood rat. Which was never actually the intention.

Words like Holla. Brotha. Playa. Playa-Hata for that matter(Pronounced Play-uh Hate-uh for those of you who don't speak ghetto rap circa early 2000's.). And no, I don't actually say Player Hater(Back to Basics Now) I just thought it was funny.

Which is my problem to begin with. Right? Oh boy.

I have always done that. Attached words to my vocabulary because I think they're funny, they last several months and then they are gone just as strangely as they came.

I, of course, went through a Dude phase. Who didn't. But I can claim, at least, at the very least, it was before that stupid Ashton Kutcher movie.

I went through a Su-weet phase. I'm not proud of this one. You know: Suuuuuu-Weeeet. The actual word Sweet has hung around, but now it is used as sarcasm generally, so I'm going to give myself a break.

I went through a Yea, Yea phase after every sentence. Like, "Let's go to the movies, yea, yea?" It turned every sentence into a question and reminds me now of Ni How Kai Lan.

I unfortunately went through a That's Hot phase. But in my defense when something is every where all of the time your brain just picks up on things, not necessarily on purpose. So. No. I was never a Paris Hilton wanna-be. But yes, I did borrow the phrase. Now if I say it, I like to change it up a bit, you know make it my own. So instead of That's Hot. I will say something like, That's SO Hot. Did you see there? Did you see the difference?

I still use words from junior high and high school that I'm not proud of but cannot for the life of me get out of my system. Like, "Like." Yea, I think I'm a Valley Girl. And "Gay." That's not only not politically correct, but it's like a hate crime now a days. I need to start washing my mouth out with soap every time I use it. Plus, it's totally like a junior high guy thing to say. Apparently I am also gender confused.

I say Awesome. Yes, I do. But not just Awesome. I say it like how a surfer would say Bodacious. In fact, I might as well say Bodacious and Narly and Cowabunga while I'm at it.

Who do I think am I now? A Ninja Turtle?

This blog is getting confusing. And if anyone can find the point of it, I'll give you a prize.

But Holla is my current fav. That's right. Fav. As opposed to favorite. This is a Greenlife Garden Attachment. Zach came home from work with it, and maybe it's just me, but a bunch of guys, like manly guys, sitting around an office talking about their fav's is maybe a little reminiscent of a word I just said I wouldn't use anymore. Ha. Just kidding.

I also say Really? after every sentence, and Right? I mean what are those? First, I want you to verify everything you just told me, but then you need to agree with me immediately. Right? Jk.

There's another one.

And this has stuck around since seriously junior high. Just kidding. Always, after every joke I make or say, any inflection of sarcasm or teasing I have to include Just Kidding! Ridiculous(There's another one). I am so afraid that I am going to offend someone or that they are going to take whatever off the wall, out of control(Bingo, another one) thing I just said seriously, that if I don't include a "Just Kidding" I am forever worried about it!

And since 95% of what I say can't be taken seriously, you can imagine how many Just Kiddings I can throw into a conversation. Irritating to say the least.

It's amazing(there's another one) what goes into any one person's vernacular. On top of region, country, dialect and all that, there is always those individual characteristics thrown into making any given person's speech patterns. Whether they sound intelligent or..... not intelligent their speech has everything to do with it.

No wonder, most people think I'm an airhead. People who's sentences sound like " So like, we should totally do something on Friday because it would be like oh my word(That's another one) amazing, right? Holla!" aren't generally considered the smartest of the bunch, right? Just kidding. Ha.

You can see what a conversation with me can turn in to and for that I apologize.

So anyways, there was absolutely no point to any of that. Sorry you wasted your time :) Just kidding.

Oh my gosh(another one). I can't stop. It's a sickness.

This is the problem with writing a blog in the morning. At night, my thoughts are concise, put together, flowing, intelligent. I can think of five or six good blog subjects. BUT I write this blog in the morning. The point is to wake me up, to get me moving, to help me accomplish something before 8 AM(Ok, fine, today we're shooting for before 10 AM. But you get the picture.). So we're all left with the craziness of whatever thoughts go directly from my half-functioning brain to my fingertips and as you can tell, I do very little editing.


Another one.

What I had planned to write about today was the worst Valentine's sent out ever.

By me.

So, last year, we gave out NO Valentine's. I was totally unprepared for the entire season. I was 9 months pregnant and Stella's birthday is just six days after the holiday and my birthday is just ten days after. Scarlett was born three days after me. So you get the idea. I was busy. Scatter brained. And all in all brain dead. Totally different from how I am today(Sarcasm if you didn't catch it.).

Ok, but this year I was determined to get it right! Determined to get all of our Valentine's out and delivered. This meant, sending a bunch in the mail. Stella knows, I'm not kidding you, like 50-60 kiddos, if you include her two dance classes. That's a lot of kids. Well, and some are not kids, ok some are uncles and aunts and other family related people. But those are the numbers we're looking at for Valentine's cards.

Stella had so much fun writing on each of them, she put in all of the suckers herself and hand picked each Valentine for each kid/or adult. She loved it!

I probably sent out about 20 in the mail that I couldn't deliver before the day.

I sent them out like four days before Valentine's to make sure. To make sure. They would arrive before Sunday(a non-mail day.)(Obviously.). Well, not only were they late. Which is very irritating. BUT, and this is the bad part. People are having to pay to receive them upon arrival!!! I am sending out Cards that are costing the recipients money!!

What kind of gift is that?

It's not a gift. It's never a gift if you have to pay for it yourself.

My brother had to pay 44 cents for his! That's a lot.

Hopefully, the people in Omaha won't have to spend that much on a ridiculous Fairy card and Disney sucker. But who knows.

Kendra, whom I was super excited to include this year because of little baby Carter, actually received hers in a Post Office Issued Ziploc, inside of which, the envelope, card and sucker had been completely, completely destroyed. Red candy crystals lined the inside of the bag and the envelop had been completely ripped to shreds.

So, I'm sorry to all who received our goodwill gifts. Believe me, they were sent with good intentions. They just didn't, well carry through the Postal Service.

Can I just say though, that I bet the Pony Express would have never let this happen!

Just kidding.


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1 comment:

  1. Rachel-We got ours too the other day, with an envelope that said, "please put 20 cents in here and put it back in your mailbox". I never did it...I didn't think I should pay for mail where the envelope was ripped and then the candy was completely broken apart and I, too, had red crystals lining the envelope! It was such a good thought though! And the mailman hasn't been to my door to collect his money, so until then, he can wait!!