Well, today my first born turns three! Three! I can hardly believe it.

Time goes so fast after children are born. Like a speeding bullet that can't be stopped. I struggle and fight and do my best to slow the time down, to enjoy every single moment of my little girls' life, but Time simply won't listen. It's a stubborn one, that Time.

So here we are. Three years, well let's say Four because I think we can all agree motherhood starts at conception. And I have no idea how I got here.

No. Idea.

One day, I was carefree, enjoying a bottle of wine with my husband of not even a year and cheering on the USA during the 2006 World Cup. And the next day. Pregnant.

Don't worry, Stella turned out just fine, despite that bottle of wine.

And now, she's three!

I realize that Three is still, technically just the beginning of her life, but she might as well be graduating college for how fast this has gone.

We are not celebrating too much today. Scarlett's birthday is next Saturday(That's right, they were born a week apart from each other.) and my birthday is on Wednesday(I know. Goodbye celebrations specifically for me, hello princess birthday parties and barbie presents for the rest of my life.).

Anyways, the big celebration is Next Saturday, so today is filled with her favorite things instead of a birthday party. Donuts for breakfast. Chinese Take-Out for lunch with her very own set of chopsticks(Yes, to answer your questions, she loves Chinese food, absolutely loves it and she does know how to use chopsticks, she's known for a while.). And tonight we will have a delicious cake with candles(She specifically asked for this). Flavor: Pink of course!

Tomorrow we will go have pizza. The plan was to go today, but I started a new job today. Which I am at right now. More to come on that later.

So a low key day for the Birthday Girl. Actually right now she is even down for her nap.

She loves her sleep. Stella needs her sleep. She always has. Little baby Stella(Who, we all know, was not actually very little at all) started sleeping through the nights at 3 weeks old! Zach and I were shocked.

Having read all of the appropriate parenting books, and actually having experience with infants for quite some time(It's part of the job description when you are a Life-Term Nanny) I knew what to expect from a newborn. Or I thought I did.

So, when Stella went for a full 13 hours the beginning of her third week of life, I instantly(With the prompting of Zach of course) called the Doctor just to make sure she wasn't in a coma or anything equally as terrifying.

They asked questions like:

"Is she still breathing."
Yes.
"Are her lips blue? Or skin cold?"

Well, um, no.

"So she's breathing fine and there's nothing wrong with her?"
Yes, that's correct, but I don't know if you heard me, she's been sleeping since 8:00 PM, last night! That was 12 hours ago! Something has to be wrong....

"Um, Mrs. Higginson, I am pretty confident she is just tired. If anything changes, please don't hesitate to call."

Click.

Fine.

I relayed the information to Zach, but let's just say he's a little skeptical some of the time. So, for the next hour he sat by her little Moses Basket and watched her. And then finally, he just picked her up to see if she was ok. She of course was.

And she continued to sleep through the night until her first ear infections almost 9 months later.

When she was an infant, probably up until she was 2 and a half, she would sleep from 8:00 PM to like 10:00 or 11:00 the next morning. She was a phenomenon. A special type of girl that took directly after her mother and understood that there is nothing more important in this world then sleep!

When she was about 2 and a half that all changed. She started waking up early. Like really early. 5 and 6 AM early. It was a rough couple of weeks. But now she's tapered into more of an 8 AM wake up call. I can handle 8:00.

She's something else, that Stella. She is smart and funny. She loves other kids, but hates strangers. She can be outgoing, but usually only with children she knows really well. She is sweet and sensitive, very, very sensitive and laid back. She's tough and rarely complains. She loves to dress up and wear pretty things, but she's not afraid to play rough and wrestle. Although she will absolutely not play in the mud or dirt. Those are boy things and she is not a boy. She is all girl; pink-puffy-frilly-ballerina-tiaras-jewelry-and-dainty girl.

She doesn't like her hair brushed, but will sit through it all to have braided pigtails-her favorite hair style right now. She doesn't like to be helped, she's prefer to do it all on her own. She doesn't like to eat fruit anymore, although she loves vegetables, but she'll eat whatever I put in front of her as long as their is dessert at the end. She loves spicy foods, chips and salsa being her favorite, but she'll eat any kind of Mexican, Indian or Asian food we buy or make.

She has the longest hair of any three year old I've yet met, and she flips it over her shoulder like only a snotty little girl can. She prefers to walk on her toes, just like a ballerina. And she'll cry anytime and every time another child has their feelings hurt, especially her little sissy who is also her best friend.

She is wonderful and I am excited for her future. For the beautiful woman she will become, the amazing success she will accomplish and all of the lives she will touch.

But I'm not ready for three. And I'm not ready for tomorrow. I'm not ready for her growing Independence and strong-willed personality.

I prefer her to sit on my lap and let me run my hands through her hair. I prefer her to call me Mommy and ask me politely for more juice and cookies. I prefer her sweet, little voice and nonsensical stories. I prefer her innocent eye rolls and stubborn but adorable hands on her hips when she is mad at me.

I prefer her to need me. To love me. To prefer me.

The future is scary and unknown. And I am dreading the time when I am no longer her hero and best friend, but the enemy and the one who always says no. But that day will come. Soon. Probably tomorrow.

So until then, I will celebrate her third birthday which matching enthusiasm.

But let the record show, I'm not happy about it.