This morning I had a little trip down memory lane when I attended my dear friend Kendra's baby shower!

Kendra if you remember had her little boy, Carter, 9 weeks early. Needless to say they were not prepared for a baby! So her sister and cousin (Also my good friends) blessed her by throwing a beautiful, surprise, baby shower!

The event went off better than most. The food was superb, the decorations incredibly cute (Making me of course want a little baby boy to add to my litter!) and Kendra, duly surprised! There was only one game, which was not even mandatory, making this my favorite baby shower yet! (I'm not a big fan of games.) Well, that is of course except for my own. :)

That's not entirely true. I mean about baby showers. I'm not sure if I really have a favorite. I have loved, loved, loved attending all of my friends showers because it affords me the opportunity to support them, to laugh with them, and to bless them. Knowing my friends, and what amazing mother's they are or will be makes the shower experience unavoidable.

But they are not all cupcakes and diaper towers are they?

There is so much more that goes into them, isn't there? And not just when you throw them, I'm strictly talking attendance points alone. There is kind of this love/hate relationship in dealing with situations like this, making the whole experience equally as fun as it is awkward.

Let's expand the genre while we're at it: Baby Showers, Wedding Showers, Bachelorette Parties, Receptions, Weddings... I know, I've totally worked backwards, but you get the idea.

In fact, the only event I really ever find myself comfortable at, is a funeral. And as sick as that sounds at least no one is pretending. I've been to enough of them in my life that I can actually claim this to be true.

Zach refuses to go to all of them. Not necessarily the blossoming social flower, he prefers comfortable settings where he is completely protected from any kind or form of social awkwardness.

Me? For some reason I am drawn to it. Like a fly to a flame, I flock to social gatherings, ignorant of the coming storm known as uncomfortable conversation and inner anxiety. I might be able to chalk this one up to my gender, but whatever the case if an invitation comes in the mail I usually do whatever it takes to make an appearance.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. And I will always, always support them! But it's not like you can just show up at these events and simply talk to them, or the people you like the best. Ok, fine, you can. I get it. I have like this disease that makes me talk to everyone I have ever known.

Why is that? Why do I enjoy the torture? I mean, seriously, most people can just move on. Move past old acquaintances and passing friendships. Me? Nope. I drag them out. I make inappropriate jokes, and say things that are totally not ok, and ask about every aspect of their lives until it's obvious to everyone but me that I should have stopped talking ten minutes ago!

I'm not trying to be hard on myself, or talk bad about any particular party. I'm not.

Let's get back to the point. Memory Lane. Literally. The Shower even took place in the neighborhood where I went to college.

So this morning was just like all experiences in the past(I mean socially speaking, the party was like I said, beautiful and for Kendra of course.). I walk in, with Melinda(Good Friend.), excited to see Kimbra(Another Good Friend) and Veronica (Another Good Friend). The problem was that they were on the opposite side of the room. There was a whole lot of space between the front door and them.

In between? Childhood camp acquaintance's' wives. Childhood friends of friends. Old college friends. College acquaintances. Elementary teachers (Ok, but I actually love this one, she is one of my favorite people!). Complete strangers. And presents and food. Oh and my mother was shortly behind us.

The first question I ask myself is, "What the heck am I doing here?" I was instantly sick with anxiety and immediately wanted to turn around and walk straight back out the front door.

But I couldn't do that. Obviously. Besides I know for a fact the most of my close friends were more nervous then me! And Kendra hadn't even arrived yet.

So, I did what I always do... I sucked in a breath, avoided all eye contact until I reached a destination, made awkward and inappropriate hello's all around and began the ridiculousness.

At one point I think I even referred to modern pop stars as the "Devil Singers?" Not that I actually believe this, I love Lady Gaga as much as the next person, but I think I was trying to make fun of ultra-conservatives.... I think. It's hard to tell, since most of the people sitting in that room were ultra-conservative. I know. Yikes.

It's just that, so many people pass through our lives. Mild friends come and go. Acquaintances stay acquaintances or become closer then you ever thought possible. Good friends remain, and good friends move on. Best friends betray and best friends continue to be the best part of our lives. So many people visit our existence and make small or big impressions that it's hard to judge the impact a couple hours of awkward interaction can have.

For me, it doesn't matter how well I once knew these memories or how long it's been since we've even bothered to contact each other. What really matters is that they are all doing well. They seem happy and successful. That's what matters.

From this morning there were four of my close friends and five girls from a different time and era. And no matter how awkward, or ridiculous of a conversation I force them to have with me. No matter how long ago we last talked, or if I talk to them on a daily basis. I'm glad they passed through my life. I'm glad they allow me to be myself and put up with my antics. I'm glad to have known them.

And I wish them all the best in all of life and whatever they do.