Stop, Drop and Blog

Well, I was just thinking to myself that I finally have some time to sit down and write this thing.

And than Stella woke up from her nap and came wandering in here dazed and confused. But well rested. So after setting her up with a little Nick Jr. therapy to help her wake up(In this family, nobody wakes up easily), I really am going to finish. I really am. I. Really. Am.

If I chant it like a mantra will it come true? :)

I had sat down this morning to write. But it didn't' happen. Between breakfast and a Lego war that ended badly for AJ, and than consequently for Stella when her Lego's were taken away because of the indent she left on AJ's head, and cabin fever I decided to pile the girls in the van and take them... take them..... take them where???

Ok. Here is the problem. It's winter. There are mountains of snow outside. A perpetual fog with only a quarter mile of visibility engulfing Omaha. Streets layered in ice. And a not so agreeable temperature.

Here is the other problem. I don't want to spend money. AJ is five and her parents didn't send any money with her because how could any of us have predicted a Lego induced concussion leading to the end of my rope? But because I'm cheap and AJ no longer gets in free anywhere my options are limited.

I could go to Burger King and they could run around in the play place. But than again Burger King is the opposite direction from any type of goal I am trying to achieve. Plus how clean is that play place? I mean really. Especially up in those tubes, I mean, way up there. What employee is going to crawl up there and scrub with Lysol? Plus. Stella usually finds her way up there, way up into those tubes and never comes back down. And than I have to jimmy and maneuver my way up there until at least I can get a hold of a foot(hoping the entire time I have the right kid) and drag her back down with me. It's not pretty. It's not fun. And come to think about it, last time she had an accident up there.

Ok So BK was out. And likewise McDonald's. What else is cheap. And indoors. And cheap.

I was left with one option. Ok, there might have been more, but I could only think of one option. And that was the Zoo.

That's not indoors you say? Oh, well, yes it is. I mean there is enough indoor activity to keep us busy for the three hours before AJ is due at preschool.

Now, when I announced this to the girls, I assumed they would be overjoyed, if not just to get out of the house. And Stella was. Stella was thrilled. She started mimicking a monkey, running all over the place, screaming monkey sounds at the top of her lungs. Scarlett quickly caught on and started screaming joyfully as well, throwing what was left from breakfast onto the floor, much like a monkey is known to throw their food.

But AJ.

AJ was a different story.

The first response I received was an overwhelming burst of tears. And a declaration that "The last time I was at the zoo, a crocodile bit me!" followed by more sobbing and than more.... sobbing.

Ok what?

A crocodile bit you. Um, ok.....

Wait a second. "AJ, a crocodile did not bite you. Stop that, you're scaring the other girls." was my reply. Stella and Scarlett instantly stop the monkey act and turn to stare at the melodrama.

"Yes it did."
"No it didn't."
"Yes it did."
"No it didn't."
"Fine, but the zoo is a really scary place."
"Excuse me? Did you say scary?"
"Mmm. Hmmm..... The crocodile wanted to get out of it's cage and bite me."

*Side note: Ok, be that as it may, I can't very well tell a hysterical five year old that.

"We're going to the zoo and that's final." (That's not actually what I said, but for the sake of sparing you another 25 minute discussion about me explaining the zoo to her and animals out of their natural habitats and raised by humans and safely locked away in cages and than me promising her that if any animals would escape from their cages they would instantly die(Ok, I was referring to the fish here, I don't just lie to children to get them to do what I want.... Not all the time at least.) Ok all of that and blah, blah, blah.)

She finally agreed to check out this so called zoo. And I made the promise that if she didn't have fun we would just leave. Immediately.

Here's a piece of advice. Don't ever promise this to a child. Ever.

Finally, after what I am told is one of the longest car rides in all of the world, we make it to the zoo and successfully make it through admissions. Hands stamped, coats zipped (Oh wait, I forgot my coat. Because I'm an idiot. Oh and because it's hard work getting three little girls into the car), gloves on(Oh wait, I forgot gloves for every body too. Everybody but me. So yes, I have gloves, no coat; and they have coats, no gloves. We are off to a really good start here.) Stroller ready. (Also, this isn't really that big of a deal, but when we pulled my single stroller out, guess what! There is a hole in the canvas covering. Boo for that.) Let me get to the gist, finally we were ready to explore the zoo.

And by explore, I mean I had to literally convince both girls, because by now the fear had spread to everyone except Scarlett, although the general attitude of anger had made it's way over to her, to enter each house. And from house to house, they would complain about how very cold it was and how they wanted to get to the new place. That is until we were actually at the new place and than they were perfectly content to stand in the freezing cold because they were too afraid to enter. And than when we would eventually make it in. They hated it. Well, they loved the aquarium. They were terrified of the Jungle. Like literally terrified. I had to carry Stella through, while she buried her head in my neck and push Scarlett, all while convincing AJ that the singing monkey is not a predator. They were bored with the Gorillas. And they tolerated the Mutual of Omaha building.

Anyways. We made it. Somehow. We made it. And do you know what happened when we left the zoo?

AJ declares, "That was SO much fun! When can we do it again?"

Overall, I'd rate our trip as..... Awesome.

Because that's what little girls do. They whine, they complain, they are over dramatic and hysterical, they burst into tears and burst into giggles. And no matter what the experience is like, I mean no matter what, as long as they have a girlfriend with them, the experience will always be fun. And that's what they'll remember.

Not the sadistic parrots that kept squawking. Or the dangerous monkeys sleeping in their trees. They won't remember the man-eating shark that for all intensive purposes would die from the slightest contact of oxygen. And they won't remember the cold, damp, miserable walk in between houses.

They will however remember each other, and what a fantastic time they had with each other.

Really though, are older girls that much different?


Phasellus facilisis convallis metus, ut imperdiet augue auctor nec. Duis at velit id augue lobortis porta. Sed varius, enim accumsan aliquam tincidunt, tortor urna vulputate quam, eget finibus urna est in augue.

1 comment: