New Blogger On the Block

Wow, a whole 24 and a half hours has passed between my last blog and this one. A lot has happened. Well, not a lot, but life has happened.

It's amazing how much life can fill one day. Especially with kids. I could write about anything at this point. Stella's attitude. Scarlett nearly walking. Lunch with one of my dearest friends. Watching my sister-in-law go back to school and be filled to the brim with jealousy. That's right, I'm jealous that she gets to go to school. I'm a nerd. I can't help it.

I could talk about American Idol because I love it. Yes, I do. Don't judge me. Fine, go ahead. It's not going to change my mind. But I won't talk about American Idol. Not yet at least. It's only the first episode. There's a whole season ahead of me. So I'll wait to talk about it. Well, except to say this: I miss Paula and Kara is irritating. But that's all. I promise. At least for today.

I could talk about all of that. But that would defeat today's purpose. Which is to have clear, focused thoughts. As my mother reminded me last night, my blog so far has been "Silly Ramblings." I'm sorry mom, but that's all this thing will probably amount to. But hopefully for today, I can have at least one focused and clear silly rambling.

So today, my thoughts, will be, on: Conditioner.

That's right, Conditioner.

As a woman, and not just any woman, a woman with particularly difficult and if I may say, large hair, Conditioner is something I think about a lot. In fact every time I take a shower, which granted is probably not as often as you take a shower, but be that as it may..... When I take a shower the age old question always confronts me and I am left with this decision: To Conditioner? Or not to Conditioner? (If I may borrow from Shakespeare for a moment.)

Boys are oblivious to this dilemma as I would except them to be unless of course they are Zac Efron or desire his glowing, flowing, blowing tresses. But the average man, my husband for example, doesn't even understand the purchase. Fine. Congratulations on having it easy. How long are their showers anyways? 2 minutes? Wow. If I wanted to look like a Yettie and have a rat's nest for hair then yes, my showers would be 2 minutes as well. Come to think about it, if my showers were only 2 minutes and required minimal effort I might take them a lot more often. But that's a different blog.

This blog is about Conditioner.

Now most girls find Conditioner useful. And I have to admit that yes, it is very, very useful. It let's me get my fingers through my ridiculously thick and tangled locks with ease and very little pain. To some, there is no other argument than that. It's like asking a child if they want No Tears Shampoo or Acid In Your Eyes Shampoo. The answer is obvious. And last night, after spending 30 minutes picking (that's right, I have to pick through my hair, with a pick I've owned since 8th grade). But the point is, it took me 30 minutes to get through it, after a shower, while it was wet, and freshly clean! In any one's opinion, boy or girl, I mean, come on, that's a long time.

And the solution is easy. If I use Conditioner it takes me all of 45 seconds to get through it after I wash it. So why is there even a debate?

Well, someone with my caliber of hair, that is to say.... Someone who has something less like hair and more like a um, um, a Scotch Brite Pad? Animal's habitat? A hay bale? Well, let's just say on a good day my hair can be my most defining feature. Curly, flowing, pretty even. Granted on the best of days it can stand like a good five inches from my scalp, and on the most manageable we're looking from between 2 and a half inches to 3 inches.

On the worst of days? Which happens more often then not, my hair resembles something more like.... Sasquatch. Cousin It from the Adam's family. A Tom Tom from Star Wars. Or my personal favorite: A Banshee.

And what is the difference between a good hair day and a bad hair day? Conditioner. Well, and the weather, humidity, water temperature, whether I've blow dried it or slept on it wet, altitude level, the season we are currently in, the month we are currently in, the day of the week we are currently in, in fact the hour of the day we are currently in. Ok, but mostly Conditioner.

And it's all because of the smooth effect Conditioner has. Whether it's curly hair specific Conditioner or Head and Shoulders for the sometimes winter induced dry flakiness of the scalp, it doesn't matter. Conditioner = flat, lifeless, limp, gross, Big Foot hair.

And so, a few months ago, I gave it up completely. I went cold turkey. I gave up In-Shower Conditioner. Leave-In Conditioner. Spray-Conditioner. All of it. And truthfully my hair has never looked better. But it's not without a little sacrifice. And by little I mean, working extra hard with just plain old shampoo because in the middle of my shower, if I don't really scrub that hair hard, it is so tangley that I can leave the shower and parts of it will have never gotten wet. Gross, I know. Sacrifice also means, holding my head upside down and working at it for over 30 minutes just to pick through it.

And although I consciously, sometimes verbally go through the pros and cons list of why or why not, I am satisfied with my No-Conditioner Lifestyle. At least for now.

Wow that's a long one. And if I may boast, quite a bit of silly rambling. But it's what's on my mind. So congratulations on making it all the way to the end! :) See you tomorrow.


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