Another blog! After months without. I know you're impressed.

Consistency. That's the name of this game.

Just kidding. I am the least consistent person you will ever meet. I am terrible at keeping order and routine.

It's something I literally struggle with daily. But it's also something I really strive for. (Which is kind of surprising if you've met me.)

Seriously, if you meet me you will find that I am the most scatterbrain person you've ever met. I don't come across as put together in any way. And most likely I'm going to make you feel super good about yourself.

Because I am one super hot mess.

However, I do try really hard at getting my life together. I meal plan religiously. I have daily/weekly/monthly/yearly to do lists that I follow as though my life depended on them. I have notebooks and planners and refrigerator magnets to help me organize all of those to do lists. I do laundry every Tuesday and Friday. I have a very strict cleaning schedule that includes weekly upkeep and bi-monthly deep cleaning. I do every single thing I can to stay organized.

It just never works.

Life always gets in the way and life is messy!

But that's okay. It used to really bother me, but I'm adjusting. It's okay for life to get in the way. It's okay to be distracted and interrupted and re-directed.

That's where the best parts of life live. My work is important and so amazing for me. But if I'm not living life, then how can I be good at what I do?

My biggest goal in life is to be an authentic person. I want to offer honesty in everything. In my marriage. In my friendships. In conversations with total strangers. For my kids.

I want to be genuine and real. I think we crave it as a culture. Everything about this world these days seems plastic and superficial. From TV to magazines to Facebook friendships that have no depth, we are lost in an empty department store with nothing but mannequins and professionally dressed windows.

Where are the genuine people? The real struggles? The deep friendships that sometimes hurt because you actually care about the other person?

So, this has become my philosophy of life. And to write authentically is the hardest thing in the entire world. It makes me vulnerable and open. And I hate being both of those things.

It also makes me fragile sometimes.

And I also hate to be fragile.

But it's worth it. Even if it hurts me. Even if I suffer a little bit at the cost.

Because we were never promised perfect lives. We were never told we could get through this world unscathed and unscarred.

Hurt, pain, baggage, tears... they are all part of it. They are building blocks that work together with the good things to create this beautiful life we get to live.

And I will take them and endure them because what is on the other side is worth it.  

Anyway. All that to say that sometimes I forget that I have to experience life to write about it. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my To Do Lists that I forget I live in reality and have real responsibilities.

I forget that those places are where my best writing comes from.

So over the last weekend, I walked away from the computer and did some real life stuff. I cleaned my house. DEEP CLEANED my house. I mean, I organized closets and boxed up a ridiculous amount of kids clothes that don't fit anyone anymore. And I did birthday parties and visited my newest nephew in the hospital!!! It was a fabulous weekend.

And now I'm ready to dive back into work and get some stuff done!!!

Which means I will have some Siren Series teasers for you soon!!! And some more Love and Decay, Episode Six!!

Did you read Episode Five?? Did you survive it?? :)

It's so weird to only be working on two projects right now.

Honestly.

I'm used to have multiple documents open and a hundred things going through my brain.

So this is a nice change of pace.

What are you looking forward to the most?? The Heart or the rest of Love and Decay, Season Three???