First of all I would like to just take a moment and talk about the shootings in Colorado.

I cannot even imagine the tragedy and heartbreak the victims of that disgusting crime are facing, nor can I imagine the grief the families of lost loved ones are experiencing.

My dad died in 2005 and it was one of the hardest events of my life. But he was older, he had cancer and I knew it was coming.

To have someone you love ripped out of your life cruelly, unnessasarily and that devestatingly quickly has to be nearly unbearable, I would think.

And so for those families, especially parents who are now faced with burying their children, you are all in my prayers.

I don't think the majority of humanity can understand what would possess a person to act out in such a brutal, inhumane way....

We look at the events of last night and attempt to work out the puzzle in our heads: How could someone do such a thing? Why would someone do such a thing? What events happened in his life to lead up to his actions? What was he thinking?

Or what wasn't he thinking?

But I'm not sure the majority of us are capable of understanding the depth of evil surrounding that level of tragady....

And so I offer my prayers and thoughts and hopes to the survivors, knowing that life will never be the same after last night, but that it does continue, even painfully.

Ugh... Seriously that leaves me with a shudder. Because there are moments of this life that are so good and blessed and our hearts could easily burst with happiness.

And then there are moments when everything is as dark, and as painful and more horrifying than anything we could ever imagine. And still we have to fight through it.... live through it.... somehow come out on the otherside of it and survive.

But the good times, the best times always make the worst parts that much harder to face.

On the other hand, those ugly moments that seem impenatrably woven into the fundamentals of human existence cast our good times in the glorious, thankful light they belong in.

So here's to finding good times again for those families and survivors. I pray they exist for you again.



Sorry.... I had to say something.

But I genuinely started off the day assuming I would blog about my step up in momhood yesterday.

Oh yes, I've been promoted.

A promotion, I myself handed out. But promoted none-the-less.

I am officially.... drum roll please.... a real mom.


Fourth kid on the way and today I have the minivan to prove it.

If you don't believe me, I'll show you a picture. It's sitting outside, in my little parking lot area of the farm, and shining luminously in the sunlight.

I've named her Penelope.

No, not really. I just made that name up right now. But I HAVE always wanted to name one of my children Penelope, so now that she has joined our family I might bestow it on her.

She is pretty.

For a van.... :)

And she is fancy, and has all of my most important features.

But don't forget I'm a woman.

So, when Zach was researching (And by researching I mean spending hours and hours and hours at the computer watching and reading reviews and comparisons and coming to conclusions and then changing his mind and then deciding differently....) which van to get, he had his list of requirements that the van we would eventually purchase was required to have.

Such as.

He wanted good highway and city MPG. PS that's hard to get when you're driving a VAN.

He wanted a solid transmission, which is the reason we did not go with the Odyssey. You have to get their top of the line van in order to get their good transmission.

He wanted a roomy trunk and lots of storage.

He wanted a reputable company manufactoring his vehicle.

And he wanted a stylish body.

That was his list.

This was mine.

Doors that open automatically.

Heated seats.

Leather interior. Not because I'm a snob... leather is easier to clean stains off of.

Lots and lots of space so that when all of my children are buckled in NONE of them can touch each other.

A DVD player. Which, hello surprise! It actually came with headphones!!! Boom. They sold me with their fancy headphones.

And I wanted (Ok, this is kind of snotty of me....) a start button that didn't require keys.... Mainly because I am ALWAYS trying to dig my keys out of the black abyss of my purse while juggling all the kiddos AND the cart full of groceries trying to run away, or the brutal rain, or ice storm, or whilst suffering in the heat at nine months pregnant!!!

Basically I just wanted ease and simplicity.

If I'm buying a van, if I'm breaking down, offering up what's left of my youth to the alter of motherhood, handing over the keys to the sporty SUV so I can drive a Shaggin' Wagon around town.... then I at the very LEAST want it to make my life easier!!!!

But it's funny what a man prioritizes and what a woman thinks is essential.

Like, we didn't get the top of the line like touring edition, which was absolutely FINE with me.

I don't even want to talk about that price.... It gives me hives.

And honestly we loved the level of van we got because it had features the top of the line one didn't. Like... a backseat moonroof. Which I fell in love with because I KNEW the kids would just absolutely adore it.

Ok, but Zach fell in love with the Tow-Hook attachment on the front of the van.

And I mourned the loss of the pull up shades that came standard with the top tier van.

Neither one of us cared much about navigation.

Over all we are both really really happy with our choice!!

It's just a different way of life than I'm used to living....


The easier part still hasn't happened yet. (Says the complainer not even 24 hours after the van has been ours...)


So far I'm still teaching the girls how to buckle themselves. Stella would have it down except the buckle only works if you angle it a certain way and that's hard for her little hands.

And Scarlett's going to need some work.

So that means I'm opening the trunk and then climbing my ginormous preggo self into the back of it to get the girls all safety-first.

Oh. And I have YET to experience this quiet that's been rumored to happen with the DVD player....

Since we're so far out in the country it takes us 30 minutes to get to dance. That in my head is long enough to let them plug into the DVD player and have some quiet time.

Usually they talk my ear off, the ENTIRE ride.

Sometimes I love it.

Sometimes.... they fight the entire time with each other or with me.

So, I turn on the DVD player and I'm like this is it. They have their headphones on, I have my talk radio so ready to go, let's drive.



They STILL talked to me the ENTIRE time!!! If they weren't confused about how the headphones were supposed to be set up, they were takling to me about what was happening in the movie or YELLING at each other what was happening!!!

They have apparently watched way too much Dora for their little lifetimes because they answer back to the movie as if they were in open dialogue with Scooby Doo.


The questions didn't stop. Questions not even discussing the movie... just in general, things we need to talk about kind of questions....

So I am pretty sure silence is a myth.

Even this morning. (Zach's car needs to go to the shop and now that we have the van, we can send it in without worrying about being stranded for a few days so we took him to work this morning.) at stinking 5:45 in the morning, with a movie on, all THREE kids needed to talk to me about the exact same movie they watched yesterday.

It's a little out of control.

And because of how far away Zach works, we were in the car for an hour and a half.

Not that I want my children to be forever silent.

I love having dialogue with them.


5 minutes peace right????

Just five minutes.

I just want to hear the point, or a point to Family Life Today.

Or the weather update.

Or even that favorite part of my favorite song....

Oh well. One day they'll be off driving their own cars, and I will dream nostalgically about the days I used to have to buckle them all in and hear their little voices question me to death from the backseat.

Because let's face it. They are the cutest things ever.

Last night when we got home after dance, Scarlett stood up in the middle of the van, opened up her arms wide and announced, "We made it everybody! We made it to our happily ever after!!!"

How sweet is that???

Home is her happily ever after.


Ok, now I'm off to write because today I finally paid attention to the date and I've got a book to finish....

Which is weird because I really thought time was supposed to stop when I was writing, so I could finish without having to worry about deadlines and time restraints.



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  1. Yah, you really are gonna miss them being that small, my mom is going completely mental this year because my brother and i are looking at colleges. She keeps getting all nostalgic talking about cute things we did like 13 yrs ago, cherish their cuteness while you can because soon they'll be dramatic teenage girls like me lol

  2. This is too funny. I also got promoted to Mini-van mom only on Friday evening. You didn't say what kind you got though. It sounds curiously like mine though! Hope you love it as much as I love mine!