So it seems Monday morning is my designated Blog Day. Not because I only want to blog once a week, but definitely because Monday is the only day of the week that doesn't seem to be consumed from morning till night of activities and chores.

Also.

Even though it's Monday, I'm going to so TRY not to complain....

Although, I DID just catch up on my Goodreads Reviews and it has put me into a little bit of a funk.

If we're going to be honest, I shouldn't read reviews. Not. At. All. Zach has been telling me from DAY ONE to stop reading reviews... But I can't help myself!!!

Could you????

Sometimes reviews, even negative ones are helpful. I am new to this whole writing world, and it's interesting to hear what others have to say. I really do learn from all constructive criticism and appreciate it all.

But even if all of the reviews have a great number of stars, I can still get depressed about it.

Or not depressed... That's a bad word. More like.... Anxious.

They make me nervous. Nervous for how my writing is, nervous for the book I'm trying to finish right now, nervous for my future in this industry.

Oh, wait, I've thought of another word.

Insecure.

They definitely make me insecure. Even the absolutely glowing ones.

Which is a bit bizarre because I happen to be a very confident person. But this whole writing thing is what I LOVE. It's my whole heart pushed into a version of myself that I put a small price on and give to the world. And because there is so much of me, of my passion, of everything I know tied to the end product, I think it strips away the confidence and leaves me exposed.

Vulnerable.

And that is where the insecurity stems from.

Plus, let's be honest, I might just be the WORST Indie Author ever. I. Mean. EVER!!!

This Indie-World is honestly incredible. I have met and gotten to know the most amazing people. Some are fans. Some are other writers. Some are both!

But I am not the author doing a give away every other day. I am so not the author that knows what she's doing on Twitter....

Holy cow. Don't even get me started on Twitter!!!

I have a very hard time promoting my work.

And an even harder time finding TIME to write more work.... Lol.

Everything takes me three times as long to figure out... Mainly formatting! But, don't even get me started on trying to figure out how to fix the Cover Art on my print books. And then there's the interacting with fans that I really struggle with.

Ok, most of the time on Facebook I can get back to ya! And emails I always get to because that's the easiest for me. Even Twitter I can tweet ya back! But blog comments... Goodreads???

I'm so out of my element I don't know where to begin.

I recently read another writer's blog that reminded me most writers are the socially-awkward recluses of our generation. We were the ones alone, lost in our own world and reading a book when other kids were off playing together. We were the ones caught daydreaming in a different world when we should have been paying attention. And we are for sure the ones that use obnoxiously big words when other people just want a straight answer.

To which I said, Amen, sister!!!!

But then she went on to explain, in this technological day and age we no longer get that luxury. We have to be out there for everyone. Interacting. Accessible. Interesting....

To which I hung my head in shame.

I should have more give aways. I SHOULD have a website. I should definitely have another book out there by now....

But I don't.

And I can't focus on everything I'm not doing, otherwise I will most likely find myself with a panic attack and subsequently... Hives.

And I don't want hives.

Trust me.... Nobody wants me to have hives.

Yikes.

Zach was telling me about this property he is in charge of. He was trying to explain to his boss that they needed to hire a crew of workers to just manage this one property. The property has just tons of money and the grounds themselves have literally an endless amount of work to them. They could have two guys always there, billing out $50/a man/an hour and there would always be work to do.

It's an SID job.... I don't know if that makes sense to anyone.

The work would last them all summer and it would be all just a glorious cash flow.

That is how I feel.

Ok, maybe not the cash flow part. But that I have ENDLESS work ahead of me. I could spend hours a day catching up with fans, designing give-aways and interacting with readers. I could also spend hours a day getting to know other Indies, and not just because it would be beneficial to my job, but because they are awesome. And I learn SO much from them.

Then let's get to the actual writing part of this life. Not only am I writing a book right now. But I literally have four other books in my head that want to be written. And I'm not including the series that go along with them. Just four different books.

I have the edited versions of Fearless and Endless... I just haven't had the time to get to them yet!

Not to mention the curse word, curse word, curse word cover art from Create Space that is making me hyperventilate!!!

And I KNOW I need a website. Desperately.

I've had a hard time taking myself seriously.... Which has been a problem. But the point that I'm trying to make in this confusing blog is that I am a part of something amazing. Seriously, the Indie world is truly a bit of a phenomenon and filled with fantastic opportunity and incredible people.

People that I would like to support.

But this blog... isn't really about writing, although I talk about it a lot. It's about my life. My online diary. My rambling nonsensical thoughts that I paste to the Internet for the world to see.

I do need a place to talk about just my writing though and even more importantly OTHER people's writing.

This market is saturated with talent right now. Loads, and loads and loads of talent.

And I am so blessed to call these authors my peers. And even more so, call some of them my friends.

So one day I'll have a website. One day I'll get caught up on blog comments and Goodreads. One day I'll host more give aways.... And one day, soon, Oh please Lord soon!!! I'll have a new book out.

But first, I need to pack. And move. And then unpack. And then have a baby. And somewhere in there I need to spend time with my family....

And sometime very soon, I need to make all my Fourth of July goodies to take over to my in-laws for our huge Fourth Celebration.

Pinterest you are my savior.

This year, instead of my staple potato salad, which I decided I was WAYYYY too pregnant to make. I found red, white and blue strawberries to make with the kidlets. A patriotic trifle to showcase in my fancy pampered chef trifle dishes I don't get to use nearly enough and peas and cheese salad just because it's easy! :)

And I'm pretty excited about all of it. I'll post pictures. They won't be as pretty as what you find on pinterest.... but they will be patriotic.

And that's the most I can do right now!

And in the meantime.... because I don't have anything new yet.... And because I LOVE these ladies to the enth degree. Please check out these smokin' Indies and their books!!!

(In alphabetical order....)

Abbi Glines
Amy Bartol
Angeline Kace
Chelsea Cameron
Chelsea Fine
Colleen Hoover
Georgia Cates
J. Sterling
Jillian Dodd
Michelle Leighton
Nancy Straight
Quinn Loftis
Samantha Young
Shelly Crane