Do you ever feel like you just boarded the Crazy Train completely on accident and you would SO SO love to get off, but the conductor just won't stop the darn thing???

Anybody???

Well... That is exactly where I am today.

On the Crazy Train.

Surrounded by Crazy People.

Wondering when life is going to slow down just enough to let me catch my breath.

Spoiler Alert: I don't think it ever does....

Shoot!!

So, where to begin??? I haven't blogged in forever because I was huddled, deep, down inside my writing crave, getting a WHOLE lot done.

And then I lifted my head out of the cave and realized what I was writing was.... how to I put this gently.... CRAP.

Seriously. It was awful.

So on that note, I would like to announce that I am definitely Postponing my Novella that is supposed to be out this month!!! I am so sorry, but I have to be honest and upfront and just say that it was awful. Atrocious. And any other negative words that start with A.

It was bad.

So I'm walking away. Not forever. But at least for now.

Part of me wonders if the story just isn't there yet, in my brain. Part of me wonders if it's the pregnancy zapping what little creative juices I have. And a big part of me wonders if it's not the chaos our little life has slipped into that is making it impossible to stay focused.

Or.

Interesting.

Either way, I feel REALLY good about walking away and that's the most important thing. I don't want to just put something out there to put it out there. I want it to be good and I want it to be something I stand behind 100%.

So that being said.

I am in LOVE with Starbright!!! I am. I love it. And honestly I cannot WAIT to get it to you. It's still in progress so if it comes out this month it will be the very last week, otherwise, it will be the first part of July.

But, that story is not taking a turn into bizarro-boring-land so I'm excited to keep working on it!!! :)

The other thing I want to do is paste the link for Reckless in Print. I don't know what happened with the link before, but I STILL can't get it to load onto this page properly, so I am pasting the link and you can just copy and paste it in your own browser and it will take you straight there.

Hopeless should be available by the end of the weekend.

Woot!!!

And eventually I will get back to my editing and get Fearless and Endless out there for you too.

Here's the link: https://www.createspace.com/3888448

Ok, so where to begin with the craziness.... It could start with how ginormous this baby is!

Oh it's huge. And I'm huge. And hot. And oh so so so hot.

But enough complaining.

What makes it so crazy is that I have spent the last two days at the Doctor's Office ALL morning.

I'm not kidding.

Yesterday I was there from 8:30 until 12:30 doing that Long Glucose Drink.

Which came back negative, thank the Lord. I am NOT Gestational Diabetes.

I just have HUGE babies. :)

Here's a word of advice though, if you should find yourself pregnant and having to take the orange drink test. Do NOT forget you have to take that test and then drink a giant glass of orange juice right before you drink the orange drink.

Apparently that makes your levels a little too high for their liking.

It was stupid and I was so irritated with myself. But it's over and Zach went with me so I didn't have to drive home after.... It was actually fine.

But then this morning I had to go all the way back for a tummy check plus an ultrasound to see if we're dealing with a giant.

We're not. Just a bigger than average baby! My doctor actually explained it like, Ok, so we might be able to just let you go naturally and hope for the best, OR we might try to go a week early, or even earlier than that.

So they have no idea.... I'm hoping I either go early, or late.

Since my due date is also Stella's first day of kindergarten.

We don't do things the easy way around here.

The ultrasound was fun though. I got my first ever 3D ultrasound!!!! Finally on the fourth baby!!!

Yay!!!

And the picture is actually perfect. The tech said she had never taken a more perfect picture!

The baby looks exactly like Scarlett did, and has her perfect little lips. It just makes me so excited to meet the little bundle of joy and figure out if I have a Trio for Dance or a little wrestling partner for Stryker!!!

Speaking of Dance... Our studio closed over the weekend!!!!!!!!!!

I know.

Crazy.

Well, it's only crazy if you know how invested our lives are in dance.

That show Dance Moms..??? I'm one of those.

Only, I like to think not nearly as crazy and I do my best to keep my public drinking under control.

Not that I'm always successful. :)

Ha!

On a serious note, we are all pretty much devastated. I mean, it didn't just close, it, in my humble opinion, closed in the worst way possible.

What makes it the hardest though is that it all could have been avoided if people would listen to other people. And not just any people, but mainly the truth.

If people would listen to the truth.

I've learned three things about myself through the whole process.

1. The older I get the less tolerance I have for caddy women and malicious behavior. And if you know the situation intimately you would think I was referring to those accused of bad behavior, but actually it is the opposite. This is a side of me I was less happy to discover.

2. I like to think I don't care what people think about me, but often times I wonder if this is REALLY true, or just a comfortable fairy tale I tell myself. The truth is, I don't care. I am fully capable of standing up for what I believe in, but in this case I am remaining sensitive for the sake of those I care about. Although it is kind of killing me.

And Zach.

I have an email on reserve just in case my inability to keep my mouth shut COMPLETELY breaks open.

This was a side of me I was happy to discover. It's good to be passionate about what you believe is right.

Even if it kills you when you can't sit everyone involved with the situation down and give them your side of the events until they are blue in the face.

:)

Or you are... Lol!!!

And

3. I married the best man out there. And that is the truth. He has had his doubts and complaints about dance, let me tell ya! And he had his doubts and little things to say during the whole ordeal. But when it came down to it... when everything happened and the studio actually closed, he saw immediately through all the BS and supported me. And my friends.

Which says the most about him. He will always support me in the end. Or I hope so at least.

But when he stood up for my friends, that was what spoke the most to me.

I just love that man!!!!!

So that's where we are with dance. It's a little bit nice, I at least get the next month or two off from it. But mostly we are heartbroken. And Stella won't be going to Nationals this year, which is what she is most disappointed about.

But she also has a lifetime left to do that stuff.

And I'm not in a hurry.

Maybe we will just leave the Dance World all together and try out Pageants. I hear it's much less crazy and WAY more affordable!!!

Just kidding!!!!

So, on top of dance and being super duper pregnant and my book deadline coming up it also looks like we will be moving!!!!!!!!!!!

Those are exclamatory exclamation points that are not necessarily declaring how happy I am.

Kind of the opposite.

Well, not the opposite, but the Holy Crap kind when am I going to have time to find a place, to pack up this place and to move it all to a new place???

Yikes.

It's so crazy I just don't even know what to do!!!!

We knew moving would be in our future, but we didn't really expect it to be so soon.... We actually have always wanted to buy the property we are living on now, but it is owned by three siblings and they are currently having MAJOR disagreements about the house we live in and that is why we are moving....

And it looks like right now, we will be moving back to the city. This is the most heartbreaking part of the whole thing!!! We LOVE and ADORE our country life with our acres of land and no neighbors in sight.

And I've grown attached to this house without an ice maker, garbage disposal and rare species of Jurassic Park sized bugs!!!

So we will see.

Yep, things are DEFINITELY crazy around here!!! But we're going with it. And tomorrow it gets even better because on top of the seven hours I've already spent at the doctor's office this week, I will be spending three more in the dentist chair tomorrow....

Oh good grief!!!!

And if I can survive that. If and only if, I will be packing up the fam-bam for a much needed vacay to Kansas to visit my brother and my family from California who is also visiting.

Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming!

:)

Don't think I'm a complainer! Like I said, we are taking this all in stride. God has a plan..... And we are most excited to find out what it is!

Plus for some strange reason, this Crazy Train is starting to feel an awful lot like home!