Oh for a Monday, I have a LOT to talk about.

Let's start with Daylight Savings.

Uh. So not a fan! Of course, don't ask me the same question in the fall because I absolutely LOVE to gain an hour. It's just losing the hour that makes me want to write all kinds of mean, crazy letters demanding we abolish the practice.

Yep. Sorry farmers. I know I support you in every other way. Shoot, I even buy Ethanol (Of course you would too if it was ten cents cheaper in your state... Ahem.... Cornhusker Kickback....). But this. This I just cannot support!!! :)

Also. Starbright!!! Exciting things are happening!!! As in.... I'm actually writing it! Woo Hoo!! Was anyone else nervous about that???

I mean Zach seriously had to sit me down and be like, Um, what are you afraid of here????

I could have explained to him the million actual things I'm afraid of. Like... Writing it. Starting it. Trying to get out of the Reckless Magic world and create something different. Trying to write a different heroine than Eden. Eden and I are like besties and it's very difficult to think in other ways than her. Trying to formulate a love story that's not only not a direct replica of the one I just wrote, but of every other already done love story out there. Oh. And then, in my brilliant brain I decided it was a good idea to read other books.

Here's a word of advice.

If you are writing a book. Do NOT start reading other people's work. Just trust me on this one. Especially from the same genre.

Save yourself the insecurity and fear of copying others and plead the ignorance-is-bliss card!!!!

But, instead of going through ALL of that with Zach, knowing he wouldn't understand and/or take me seriously on even just one of those issues....

I mean, he's a guy. I say things like, I'm afraid of writing the same heroine in just a different story.

He replies, Well, don't.

And I say, Ok, but it's not that easy....

And he comes back with, Yes it is, just don't do it.

Obviously I didn't even have to have the conversation with him, I already knew what he would say.

So, I decided then, in that moment when he asked me my fears, to skip the long convo and just get right to the point where I agree with him, there is nothing to be afraid of and get to work.

And so here I am, working.

And it actually feels good.

Of course, I am so insecure a gorilla could be more confident about what they were putting together.... But. Here we are anyway.

And here we are on a Monday without school, trying to recover from Competition this weekend!!!

Although, post-competition recovery has been so much smoother this year than last year. Which, the kids are older, so thank God for that, but last year, I would be worried Stella would never catch up on sleep. She was always a hot mess the few days after a comp.

Yesterday, save for a few extra helpings of sibling confrontation, we got through the day ok. Oh, and I had a headache the whole day but I don't know if I should blame that on Dance or on Pregnancy.

Probably... Pregnancy....

But Saturday was so fun, and I am just SO very proud of my little ballerina! She did amazing!!

There is so much negativity surrounding the Dance World lately that I'm pretty sure when I say my five year old daughter is in Competition, people probably run the other direction assuming I belong on some hyped up reality show and get my child spray-tanned and bikini waxed.

Well, let me tell you. Reality TV is not so much.... Reality.

More an exaggeration of it.

I mean, at my studio we are absolutely nothing, NOTHING like Abby Lee and her crazy band of alcoholic moms!

Just kidding. Dance will definitely drive you to drink.

Or is that just me????

JUST KIDDING AGAIN!!!! :)

I mean there is that element to this world, just like in contact sports there are the crazy families that eat, breathe and sleep whatever they play.

I had no idea this world even existed until I joined it. Seriously. When I grew up and went to dance, it was one time a week, and we worked on the same dance for the whole year, getting ready for the one recital we put on. That was it. That was all.

Even the older girls in point and such, maybe went two times a week and still didn't have a knowledge or mastery of dance like the competition girls that I know.

So when I fell, literally it feels like I just fell into this world, I was beyond blown away. Last year I blogged about my first competition day and how shell-shocked I was.

It was bananas. And I went in to it not having any clue what to expect.

Bedazzled Head-To-Toe Dance Moms were definitely not part of the reality I expected to face.

Trust me.

So this year, it felt good to go back. To know what to expect. To feel somewhat of a veteran. Although, I still can barely follow the darn scoring process...

Even though this year, it did make more sense. I knew that first place, doesn't really mean first place and to hope for an elite first.

No, I'm sorry. A Ruby First.

Or whatever.

And Stella was better prepared for this year too. She is, after all, the whole reason we do this circus! :) Sorry Lindsay!!! Lol...

I love it. I really do, I can't even pretend I don't. But I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Stella.

There were some judgements over the weekend. Not necessarily directed at me. But they were said non the less and I feel like I need to defend this endeavor we have begun.

For me, specifically, (Well, I'm not going to pretend the two seniors from my studio that got full ride scholarships to Columbia for dance last year doesn't have anything to do with it. Are you kidding me? But that's a different blog....) it has to do with Stella. And who she is on stage.

I have this amazing, smart, talented five year old that is deathly afraid of everything.

And I have absolutely NO idea where she gets it from!!!! :)

Anyway, the truth is, Stella wouldn't even stand up in front of her preschool class and share her show and tell! She is shy. Extremely, exasperatingly, unbelievably shy!!!

But not on stage.

On stage she is this different child. She stands in the middle of stage and works out her dance with her "Stage Face" lighting up every inch of her and she is happy. So, very happy.

Without dance this would be a side of Stella I would NEVER get to see!!! If we never got into dance, I'm not even sure I would know this side exists!! I don't even know if it would exist....

I could go on and on and on about the future benefits a strong stage presence will foster in her, from speech class to accepting awards to whatever.... Not to mention the physical benefits of being young and active in a society that is suffering from childhood obesity.

But all I really need to say is that this is right for my family. This is right for my child. And if it wasn't then we wouldn't do it, plain and simple.

But my girls, both of them, have fallen in love with dance. Head over heels. And they have taken Zach and I right along with them.

Yes, I did say Zach. :)

Even though, I doubt you will ever find me in rhinestoned jeans or with a fake tan.... Although, please believe that as soon as I'm finished with kids, fake boobs are in my very near future! :) I know you nursing moms know what I'm talking about!!!!

I can't say for sure that when I upgrade to the deluxe suitcase if it will be sporting animal print or not....

And I know for sure, I will always look like the lone hippy in a circle full of moms who actually have it together.

But we are in this. And I support this. And believe me, as much as I over think every single thing, I have over thought this from every single angle. Believe me. There didn't used to be blogs like this. There used to be blogs about how this world terrified me and I had no idea what to do about it!!!!!!!!

Lindsay used to have to call me and like talk me down off the ledge.

I'm always crazy. This much doesn't change.

So. I won't be defending Dance Moms, the TV show today, although I have been known to do it, even to other moms at my studio.... (Obviously not everything that happens on that show, but personally I don't have a problem with the Pyramid... Ok, not at my age level, but in sports and in life, we are divided up into the best and not the best. Organized sportsahve A teams and B teams, starting five, or six or eleven and everybody else. I don't think it's fair to say that in the dance world we are all equals when that is NEVER true in real life. This is a whole different blog isn't it....)

But I will be defending my little girl and this passion she has developed at such a young age. I don't know many other three, four and five year olds that love something with such abandon, like the girls on her team do. And I don't know many kids in that same age group that are as dedicated to something like these little girls are. Or dedicated to anything at all.

You can talk to me about hip shaking. I believe there is a limit and I am so proud to be part of a studio that exercises class and good taste.

And you can talk to me about their costumes and what they wear. But again, my girls aren't out there in garter belts and stripper costumes so I don't have to be concerned about feeling ashamed or embarrassed. And on top of that, I know that if I ever have a problem with anything from dance moves to costume choices my concerns will be heard.

Plus. They look so darn cute, I just can't even stand it!!!!!