On this very Christmas Night.

Merry Christmas Eve Everyone!!!

I don't usually get to a blog on Saturday, but being that it's a holiday, and there is no dance, and I'm on a weekend vacation of my own, I thought I would sit down and wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

I actually had a blog from yesterday, but it was coming off of a horrifying Christmas Shopping Trip to the mall Thursday night, where Zach and I lost all of our faith in humanity in one line at Dick's Sporting Goods.

It was not a glowing example of the holiday spirit.

To say the least.

So. Today, even after a strenuous evening out and about in the holiday traffic, with crazy people running all over the place, I am ready for Christmas.

Excited even.

Thrilled!!!

Oh, I just love Christmas.

Most of us do, I know that. But I'm just saying, I also, LOVE Christmas.

And it's even more exciting this year because I literally found the best stocking stuffer for Zach of my entire life!!!! I mean, this is a stocking stuffer that will trump ALL other stocking stuffers.

And it always helps when such perfect gifts are accompanied by the appearance of a Christmas Miracle....

:) I'm being a little sarcastic. But seriously, the store I found it in, would not usually carry such a perfect gift, besides the fact that I went in there on a whim, and I got the last one of it's kind.

Or, in reality, the store always carries those kinds of things, I needed to go in the store anyway, and it's not really the last one, they're just telling everyone that to make sure they move the product.

I prefer option number one though. In the Christmas Spirit and all.

Stockings are the biggest part of Christmas between Zach and me. And by that, I really mean the most competitive.

Oh, if only I were joking.

We exchange Christmas gifts, but not anything just huge. Just mid-priced items that are thoughtful.

But the stocking. Oh, the stocking. This is where we go ALL out. And it all started the first year we were married.

My dad was sick that year, and on Christmas he had been in the hospital for two weeks already. He died the next day.

All that to say, Christmas that year was Traumatic. Awful. Really, it was horrible. And I didn't get Zach anything. I didn't even buy ANY Christmas presents, save for a box of my dad's favorite chocolates that Zach and I picked up together and then he never got to eat.

Oh good grief, that was a little more depressing than I intended....

Anyway.

We still had Christmas with Zach's family, in between hospital vigil hours, and Zach's mom made him a stocking. This was the first time I ever knew how important Zach's stocking was to him. He had, I guess before Christmas even was near, talked to his mother to make sure she was still making him a stocking.

He couldn't trust me of course, I was drowning in learning how to become a wife, I couldn't even make frozen pizza to save my life and my father was very sick.

So, that Christmas, when he did not get a single present from me, I learned that he is obsessed with the little gifts that come inside a stocking.

So the next year, whilst still paying penance for my negligence the year before, I decided to put together my own stocking for him.

Although, have you EVER tried to get a bunch of little small gifts that people actually want and can fit inside a giant sock???? It's almost impossible.

I literally think that first year I made him one, was just a bunch of big gifts, wrapped and piled on top of each other and I called it, "Zach's Stocking." Seriously, there was like an Express Sweater, a bottle of Grand Marnier(which is his favorite and I get him it for every Christmas, except this one actually....) and probably underwear because that's another thing I get him every Christmas.

Anyway. It failed as far as stockings go. But the bar had been set none the less.

So the next year, Zach decided to make me a stocking as well. And his mother pulled out of the race all together. Well, really she said, Oh you're making him stockings now? Thank God!!!!!

Anyway, This is the year that stockings became a competition.... Because just like everything else we do together, we fight over who's is better and then both concede at the end simultaneously that the other did in fact win.

We're ridiculous.

But the same thing happened at Thanksgiving with our "Pie-Off"

Over the years, I've gotten better. A LOT better at finding little things to actually fit in side our abnormally narrow stockings. And this year takes the cake!!!

Not only does everything fit inside of his stocking, except one six pack of socks, but seriously.... it was never going to. And I came up with not only cheaper items that he will actually enjoy, BUT the best stocking stuffer known to mankind.

I know you're dying to know what it is. But I can't take the chance!!!! :) I will for sure post pictures first thing Monday morning though.

Right now we are T-2 Hours to our first Christmas Celebration at Zach's mother's house and I not only ran out of wrapping paper, but forgot to pick up the Spinach for my Spinach Dip that I promised to take over there!!!

I'm losing it. Thank God for Zach and his willingness to run into town for me!!

Oh my goodness, I am so excited to begin the festivities. And celebrate the real meaning of this holiday.

I get very emotional at Christmas, and not just because of the reminders of my dad, or that I am so thankful Jesus came to earth to die for our sins.

It actually is a little bit crazier than that.

I have this thing about the actual birth of Jesus. Like, when I cry... I cry for Mary. And I do cry, I'm just going to be honest about that right now. But I cry about everything. EVERYTHING.

I just think about what it would be like to be a teenage girl, on your way to getting married to a much older man that you hardly know at all and to find out your pregnant.

With God's son.

It was obviously unacceptable to be pregnant out of wedlock in that culture anyway, but having been pregnant several times, I just know how immediately protective of that child I am carrying I instantly become. Now imagine that child to be the Savior of the world.

And to deal with that as a teenager.

Unfathomable.

But the real emotion comes, as I think about the rest of her pregnancy and how her relationship with the growing baby inside of her would have deepened, only to have to ride a donkey for miles, in her third trimester and give birth in a barn.

First of all, you know it was that donkey ride that put her into labor. God's sovereignty and miraculous timing and all, you know it was that donkey ride!!!! :)

But then to give birth in a barn. Without help. Or midwives. Away from your mother and family and anyone you know. And you are just trusting God that this is His plan.

Meanwhile, you know Joseph was freaking out. His wife is laying on hay. Having a baby. Her first baby.

And then strangers show up. Dirty, filthy shepherds and they are worshiping Him.

And He is the Savior of the world. God's only Son. And she was put in charge of Him. Made His mother.

Motherhood already comes prepackaged for enough anxiety to send anyone over the edge. But what if you were raising God's Son?

Daily I worry about my children, the decision I make concerning them, the way I talk to them, the way I interact with others, the friends they make, the school they go to, the activities I put them in, their future, their present, their pending therapy sessions. I mean, it's all there, constantly circling through my head, reminding me of my flaws and the overwhelming impact I have on their lives.

I can't imagine raising a boy like Jesus. With the future of the world resting on his tiny shoulders, or letting him wrap his little hand around my finger, knowing that one day those palms would be pierced with nails, hanging him to a cross.

But maybe it wasn't as hard as I'm imagining. Maybe the love of a mother can overcome the crushing reality of her son's future and she was able to hold him to her, trusting God and His infinite wisdom.

So Merry Christmas to you. May you be surrounded by and enjoy your families, friends and loved ones, may you receive enough blessings to overfill your heart and may you remember why most of the world joins together in unified celebration on December the 25th.