I'm not exactly sure what that saying means.

Is it supposed to mean that you're grumpy?

Or just out of it?

Or exhausted?

Because if it means that you are so tired that you might be hallucinating, your brain has completely stopped functioning correctly and you can't keep your eyes open to save your life.

Well... Then... I think I have it. The case of the Mondays that is.

Oh, good grief, today has been a mess.

This is how I pictured my morning going: I would get up with Zach, get the kids fed and ready for school in a timely, concise manner, we would be out the door at 8:00 AM so that Stella would get to school on time, I would drop her off and then take the little ones grocery shopping which would take an hour at the most, I would make it to the bank, then I would spend the remaining time in town wondering around Target for fun. I would then be on time picking Stella up, we would come back home, make lunch, eat lunch, go down for naps by 12:30 and I would clean the house until it was time to get ready for dance.

Doesn't that sound like an amazing morning?

If I would have accomplished it, you totally would have thought I was the mom that had it all together.

Especially, if I pulled off speaking correctly and coherently throughout the morning on top of it all.

So.

Let's leave it at that.

That's what I wanted to happen this morning.

And that is exactly what happened this morning.

Oh.

Wait.

It actually, looked a little more like this.

Wake up late because I actually think I slipped into a coma last night and it was very, very hard to come out of bright and early this AM, then try and try and try and try to motivate the kids to eat something because they are starving and I know they are starving because they are continually breaking down into hysterical tears and fighting constantly. They refuse to eat. Or drink. Or really, listen at all.

So now I'm running late, and I have to leave in ten minutes and nobody is dressed. Quick, everybody get dressed. No. Wait. Let me dress everybody it will go faster. Ok, except for Scarlett, instead of helping each other, we better just fight about you doing it on your own, while I threaten you for a good twenty minutes about it, without following through on anything because I'm still trying to get the other two dressed plus myself.

Ok, finally leave the house at 8:30, which is a little late for the preschool that starts at 8:15, don't mind that we live way out in the country.

FINALLY get to preschool, where my little Stella-Girl REFUSES to go inside(Don't mind that it probably has nothing to do with the fact that she still hasn't eaten breakfast....), so I have to threaten to take her little booty to the bathroom, which I NEVER would have followed through with because that would have meant parking the car, taking all three kids into the school, corralling them while I punished my first born who would have then melted into an abused victim that nobody loves and would never have recovered at school, so thankfully she finally listened....

Good grief.

Then I didn't just have to go to one grocery store. Oh. No. I went to three! THREE!!! Because I kept forgetting everything I needed, even though I had a hand-written list that I was checking items off from.

Oh, yes, I was.

And then I forgot about the bank.

I DID remember Target, but by that time I just had to fly through, grabbing random items from my Target list and throwing them in a cart. I did get through the check-out lane rather quickly, but then had to wait an additional 10 minutes while Scarlett put back the little barbie $5 dolls that she knocked off the hanger.... And she HAS to do it herself, without any help at all or she will throw this huge temper tantrum and they have to be perfect and she is excruciatingly meticulous and I about had a brain aneurism waiting for her patiently, trying to teach her to put her own things away without stomping my foot whilst we are going to be late AGAIN for preschool!!!!!

But finally, we make it back to Stella's school only five minutes late and I park the car because this time we actually do have to go inside. But I didn't realize we were going to go inside until that very moment, so I am dressed in Royal Blue Sweat pants, a jacket that is from the Gap, I can say that, but it's like frayed in the cuffs and hem, like it's supposed to be, but, Ok, I'm not going to lie, it looks a bit trashy and by that I mean... homeless.

Anyway!

Plus, I forgot to pay our bill this month, so now it's late, and now I don't only have to find my mother and give her her lunch, I have to go to the office, with my hair piled so high on my head, I actually keep banging it against the ceiling of my car every time I get in and get out, one of Zach's work shirts on underneath my jacket and three kids, one of them with her face covered in chocolate or dirt or something, the other screaming she has to go potty and the third, so heavy I need a push cart to carry him around in.

OH I'm not done yet.

Then. We get home. And it's so far after lunch time that my children have started to break down again. Enter the lunch of peanut butter ritz bitz and cereal. Yep, that's what they ate. And they ate it the same day I specifically went to the store just so we would have fresh fruit and veggies for lunch.

I don't even want to talk about what its like to bring in a trunk full of groceries by myself.

And whilst I was doing that. Stryker. My wonderful little boy. Found a potty. That somebody had forgotten to flush. Or close the lid. In a bathroom where somebody had forgotten to close the door.

And he thought it would be an awesome time to take a poop bath.

Yep.

So. I think I might have taken a couple years off my life this morning. But don't worry, they are all asleep now. And I thought I was going to get some work done, but instead I might just take a nap.

Since while all of this was going on this morning, my still-asleep-brain kept calling the Interstate, the Internet. I handed one cashier my library card instead of my drivers license, which in hindsight might have looked fishy.... and I keep calling my children by the wrong names.... And not EVEN like each other's different names. Like... Stella, Scarlett or whatever.

Oh. No.

I keep calling Stryker, Sebastian! And Scarlett, Seraphina!!!!!!! What is WRONG with me? Oh my goodness.

Oh. And there will be no cleaning the house today since our wonderful sink is backed up. Like, way backed up. Like, the, Um, I'm going to go get a new part to fix this kind of backed up and I can't even begin to tell you how desperately my kitchen needs to be scrubbed.

Oh good grief.

Let's all just rest in the fact that tomorrow's Tuesday.

And maybe instead of editing this afternoon, I should probably take a nap....

Or at the very least brew a pot of coffee.