Halloween H20

So. Last Saturday, Zach and I had a date.

It was super fun! Well, ok, I'm going to be honest and just say that we make a point to have fun every time we go out.

I know, it's hard to believe. But... I guess that's just us. So... :)

Anyways, we had dinner with some of our closest friends. The close friends that don't have any kids so it's easy for them to hang out with us on a minutes notice.

The night ended early however because Zach got sick or something. I don't know, he was complaining and then we had to leave and then the date was ruined!

JUST KIDDING!!! I am so not that whiny!!! But he did get sick, poor guy. So we had to leave earlier than normal.

Ok. The point of this. While we were on our date, our dear friend Nate, informed us that every person needs 8 hugs a day to feel healthy.

EIGHT!!!!

Ok, is it just me or is that a lot of hugs?????

And I was like, there is absolutely NO way I get eight hugs a day!!!! I mean, trust me, Zach and I love each other. A lot. Like. A lot, a lot! But... There is not time in the day for eight hugs!!!!!

But the, Nate reminded me I have children and get hugs from them.

Sorry... When I'm away from my children, I have a tendency to forget about them entirely.....

Just kidding.

Again.

Ok, I'll give him that. I definitely get eight hugs from the kidlets. Ok, probably like at least eight hugs from each kidlet. So. Whew. I'm healthy.

Dodged a bullet there.

But. If I didn't have kids. I don't know.... I am NOT a hugger. I am not an anything kind of person. Like, don't expect a handshake, a high five, a hug, a slap on the back, a fist bump, nothing! You're not going to get it from me.

I don't touch people.

And it's not because I'm a germaphobe or snobby or whatever. It's because I actually feel bad for people who have to come into physical contact with me.

I am so awkward, it's embarrassing.

I will occasionally hug a friend. Every great once in a while. And every time I feel the need to verbally warn them. So, ok, we're starting off on a bad foot right there.

I'm all, Ok, I'm going to hug you now. And they're like... Ok.... And then it's all the, like which way are you going to go, like stutter hug, and then I don't know how tightly to squeeze, or how long is appropriate... do you pat the back, or just rest your hands casually on the shoulder blades...??

Ugh. Ok. I'm getting the heebs just thinking about it!

It's so awkward.

I should also say, that if you want to hug me, I'm not going to judge you. And it's not like I hate hugs. I don't. I don't mind a hug. As long as it's the OTHER person taking the initiative!!!! It's seriously just me. I'm just so weird about it.....

And here's the thing. In highschool all my friends and I hugged. Like every time we saw each other. We thought it was all grown-up of us, so that's what we did.

And then in College, I hugged like Ironically. Yeah, that's right. Ironically. Like, these huge bear hugs, that knocked the wind out of my friends, mainly because I thought it was funny. And it was this way to break the ice literally right away. If you're laughing about the hug, then the conversation can only go up from there, right??

Somewhere inbetween then and now, something happened. And now I'm like the weird kid with the sweaty handshake... Only, the hug version of the clammy hand.

It probably happened after my dad died.

Geez. People want to hug the crap out of you when you lose someone. Which is awesome. But, now I have like this weird aversion to hugging because I associate it with grief.

Oh. That's right. I was a Psych Major for one year of my college career. And I think I learned all that I needed to.

I'll tell you what I've always hated though. Like even since grade-school. High Fives.

Oh, yes. I hate high fives. And that has nothing to do with an emotional malfunction of mine. Oh. No. That is purely a lack of Depth Perception.

Listen, I am all Woman, Hear Me Roar, and what not. But the Good Lord, did not see fit to bless me with a strong sense of spacial orientation.

I hate high fives because unless they are going in slow motion, I literally miss the other hand.

Yep.

Not even kidding.

And, I was an athlete!!! That might be hard to believe... But I played college basketball.

Do you know how much athletes love to high five????

A lot.

Like. A ton.

And I'm all, just smack my ass and leave the hand alone!!!

Hopefully nobody reads just that one sentence.....

And here's the thing, high-fiving even makes sense in sports. I'll give it to them. Fine. But what it doesn't make sense in is my every day life now that I'm 27. Why is this even an issue now??

Like, who in my life is STILL trying to high five me besides my kids????

I don't know. But people do. All the time. And I'm like, seriously? Here we go? Concentrate.... Concentrate.... Keep your eye on the hand..... And..... Miss.

Awesome.

Some people want do-overs. They're like, oh that wasn't a good one, let's try it again.

And I'm all, are you serious right now? Sure. Let's go again. I'll just hold my hand still this time and you can come to me.

And unlike hugs, which I will always accept. I will flat out refuse a high five. Sometimes I just tell them, you know what... I don't high five people. Sorry.

Thank God it's not High Fives that make people healthy....

Am I the weirdest person you know????

I know I am.

Ok, last thing. And I NEEEEEEED your help! Zach and I are going to a Halloween Party on Saturday.

Ugh. I know.

Also. Another thing I hate.... DRESSING UP.

It's kind of the worst.

And people love it, I get that. But I am weird enough, ok? I don't need a costume to prove that I don't belong in regular society.

So, anyways... I'm going to dress up. We actually want to go as a couple thing. Last year, we didn't. Last year Zach thought a couple idea was ridiculous and he went as Charlie from It's Always Sunny (Mainly because he looks exactly like Charlie Day only he's WAY hotter. Zach is hotter. Not Charlie.) and I went as a Gypsy.

I know. It was way out of my comfort zone....

Actually, I went as a Six Month Pregnant Gypsy.

So this year, he's changed his mind and decided that it would be fun to go as a couple. And I have to agree, at least someone will match me in my humiliation. :)

So any ideas????

We have NO Idea! And we don't want to spend a lot of money....

Ideas that have been thrown out so far are a Salt and Pepper Shaker. Bella and Edward. And a Pimp and his Hooker.

All, have been laughingly shot down by both of us! And the party is Saturday and we need real ideas!!!!!!!!

Please Help!!!!!

Also. Go get some hugs!!! You'll feel better!!!! :)

Rachel

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4 comments:

  1. Hello! Eden and Jericho or Eden and Kiran...you pick, but we've got to see pics!

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  2. You could go as jail birds! LoL. Or better yet how about a doctor and a nurse?! Both seem simple enough to pull off.

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  3. Please oh please oh PLEASE go as a pimp and a hooker. I'm beggggging you!!! I'll send you some of my clothes. That I wear on a daily. :) PS I hug you and I know you don't like it and I don't care. Now, I'm going to high five you while hugging you!

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  4. The secret to the perfect high five? Don't watch the hand, watch the elbow, you never miss then. ;)

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