All My Single Ladies

Ok, so I'm posting twice tonight because that blog I just posted was technically from yesterday. But in the middle of trying to edit it, something happened to Blogger and I couldn't get to it until now.

It was weird.

So tonight I'm blogging to you Alone. And by that I mean, Zach is off, proving his Manhood in the middle of the woods on a surprisingly freezing night for the middle of May and I am home with the kids waiting for Care Bears to finish up and put them to bed so I can get back to my bottle of wine and chic flick I have rented for later.

That's right.

This is full on single-middle-aged-woman-glory tonight!

Although I am technically neither single nor middle aged, I can at least pretend, right?

I mean we are talking about all of those things I hide from Zach in order to keep our flame alive and burning until he leaves for the night and my true colors come out.

We are talking stretchy pants with a hole in them. Like faded black leggings, more reminiscent of the 80's than popular culture today. The nighty that Zach can't stand. Come on ladies, you know the one I'm talking about. You love it. Most comfortable thing ever. He hates it. Obviously not the most sexy thing ever.... And this awful grey sweater that is way too big and way too comfortable to really feel guilty about it and has a hole in the back of it thanks to Stella.

Ugh. She ruins everything.


Hair is up. Make up is smudged. And the kitchen looks like Alabama.

Too soon?


I mean this is it.

I have a bag of BBQ Lays waiting, a possible ice cream sandwich in the reserves, my pandora station set to Christina Perry and after No Strings Attached, my Young Adult Fiction Novels waiting.

Seriously, it doesn't get any better than this.

Oh. I mean, except when Zach is home and we spend the evening together. Those times are so obviously better. Duh.


Ok, for real they are. But Zach and I have never been that couple that just hates to be apart. I'm sorry. Think bad of me if you want to, but since this whole adventure started eleven years ago(Um, that's right, we started dating 11 years ago this month. Yikes.) we have always enjoyed time apart.

Couples need time apart.

Or at least we always have. How can you really appreciate someone if they are always around? You can't. Or I can't. You just get irritated with them. Or I do.

I trust him. I love him. I miss him when he's gone. But then I can appreciate him when he comes back.

You know we love each other.

Even if we are not those people that can't fall asleep without each other. Do you know what I'm looking forward tonight? That whole damn bed. I'm going to sleep criss-cross in it and use his pillows(I gave him all the good ones). And I'm going to burrow into the pillows and stay covered the entire night. I'm going to watch a movie when I fall asleep and not just something meaningless because he can't fall asleep to a movie because he gets sucked in and won't go to sleep. I might not even brush my teeth

JK. We all know I would literally wake up with like three of my teeth missing.

We are not those people that don't trust each other. I am a firm believer that boys need boy time and girls need girl time. He can have his vices. Beer and the cold ground with a bunch of boys I don't really trust but in the sense that beer, plus hunting knives, plus the completely dark woods, plus a gigantic fire, plus wild animals, plus the Osbornes equals an extra hour from me spent in prayer.

And he will come home thankful. Thankful for a wife that loves him and children that adore him. A warm bed and the best pillows. And thankful that he's not single anymore.

And that he's not homeless....

We are not those people.

We are just people who love each other.

We have good friends that are getting married this summer and the guy has been wanting to get together with Zach for some time and talk about marriage.

Like have a serious talk about it.

Zach is literally the opposite of me in that when people want advice from him, he actually runs away and avoids them at all cost. He never wants to be the reason someone makes a mistake or does something the wrong way. He is very, "What works for us, works for us, and everyone else can figure it out for themselves."

I am not like that.

I have a literal wealth of knowledge stored in my brain and the entire world needs to be privy to it.

When people want advice from me, I make sure they get it. I mark out like five hours of my day, possibly do research, take notes and let them listen to every single piece of information I know on the subject, believing I am the expert.

Come on. I am the expert.

It's out of control.

Still I can't say it like Zach.

We were laughing about what he would tell this friend. And he says, "This is all you need to know about marriage. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes it's crappy. But at least you get to have sex whenever you want. And that is good for you."

Isn't he a genius?
I think so.

And a little poetic.

Didn't I just tell you how excited I was to spend the night alone and have some single woman free time? And here I am just typing away about the opposite.

Maybe I am one of those people after all....


I better get back to my 2007 Malbec and Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher.


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1 comment:

  1. Just wanted to say that I completely and inevitably agree with you about the "single lady part about getting to spend time by yourself." I mean, I delightfully love my husband but hey, I love to have some "me" time. What normal couple wouldn't. But who defines normal? You should blog about that Rachel. "Who defines normal?" Is it something that society sees as everyday life or what has "normal" developed out of? Just a thought! I love reading your blogs. Thanks!