Twit, I mean Tweet

Ok, so. You know I have this book out there. And its doing ok. I mean selling wise. I didn't really expect to sell anything, so what I have sold feels like this huge blessing!

And I've been getting really good feedback.

Of course, once you put something out there, I don't really expect my family and friends to be like, Um this is crap.


Maybe they would.

Ok, my mom would have told me. For sure.

Anyways, the whole point of Kindle is not really to become rich overnight. The point is to hopefully, hopefully become actually print published.

Who knows if that will ever happen.... But a girl can dream.

And this girl does.

So, on Smashwords they have all of these resources for self-published authors once you've uploaded a book for their site.

Currently I am perusing, "How to Market Your E-Book."

I thought it relevant. And the book is only 34 pages long. Of course it took me all day to get through 14 pages yesterday, but that's beside the point.

So. Step Number Seven in how to become a Successful Ebook Author is to join Twitter.

In fact, the book says I'm CRAZY not to have already joined it.

What? Are you kidding me?

I'm crazy for not thinking of myself as a soon to be celebrity, enforcing the monotony of my everyday boring normal life in to the lives of others, 140 characters at a time?

I don't know about that.

But then I've started to think it over. Maybe I should join it. Maybe I should share my incoherent and absurd, if not slightly crazy thoughts with the world.

I mean, how different than blogging and Facebook can it be? Hmm?

Seriously, how different? That's a real question.

Because at the end of the day, I don't think I get it..... Whenever I think about Twitter, after I've swallowed my irritation with the language (Twitter, Tweets, Tweeted....? Ugh.), and rolled my eyes at the celebrities whoring out their own version of crazy, I don't understand how it works!

I feel like a 90 year old woman approaching an iPad for the first time.

I just don't get it.

Unfortunately for me... The How To Manual I'm reading actually explains how to use it.

Boo. So much for that excuse. I just have to find the patience, the time and the right amount of sell-out to figure out how it works.

I know there will be no followers to the thing. I am pretty sure it's a pointless endeavor. I don't even know if I have any clever thoughts left in this overly exhausted, consumed with changing diapers and dance, hungry brain of mine.

Here is what I have to contribute to the Twitter Society: "Bubble, bubble, bubble, guppy, guppy, guppies. Bubble, bubble, bubble, guppy, guppy, guppies! Fave new show."

"Time to give Stryker a haircut. Good thing I went to Beauty School and can be trusted with super sharp scissors next to my baby's head. Oh wait...."


"I need a Chai Tea and I need it now. Like. Right. Now."


I know.

Oh my.

The book also says that I need to be an active participant in Twitter Discussion.

Seriously? You can discuss things, like a discussion board in this whole world of Twittering I don't understand? How?

Seriously how.

And how valid of a point can you actually make in 140 characters or less?

Maybe the point is to make you more succinct? And to shame people like me, who try to win arguments by talking people to death. Literally.



Oh no.

Do you think it has it's own language? Like the Internet? Only.... worse? Like people will have entire conversations in abbreviations and numbers mixed with letters and a series of just capital letters?

Now. It's stressing me out.

LMAO. GR8. C U L8R. Flame On.

Say it isn't so! They are pretty much a foreign language to me. I might as well be trying to figure out monogrammed license plates.


Now I'm stressed out. And yet feel strangely, and completely confusingly obligated to try out this wretched thing.

Oh boy.

Well, feel free to join and become my follower. Or do I become your follower? Or how does that work....?

I'm off to a bad start already.


Phasellus facilisis convallis metus, ut imperdiet augue auctor nec. Duis at velit id augue lobortis porta. Sed varius, enim accumsan aliquam tincidunt, tortor urna vulputate quam, eget finibus urna est in augue.

No comments:

Post a Comment