I got off topic yesterday. I meant to finish my trilogy and forgot! I got all wrapped up in my new shoes and I lost focus. But no worries, because... Today I remembered!

Ok, do you know what I realized yesterday? This is mind blowing, I need you to prepare yourselves.

Well, ok, first I need to throw on a disclaimer. I have a feeling this might make some people upset.

So. Disclaimer: Please, remember my sense of humor! I take not many things seriously, and so today you shouldn't either! So, disclaimer, this is meant for entertainment purposes only and you should probably, only consider it, like 45% truth of what I actually believe. Fine, 50%, but that's it!

Yesterday, I was thinking about waitressing. I mean, I used to be a waitress. Like in college. I was ok at it. Not spectacular. I'm a little bit of a ditz. And just a little bit more forgetful. But I wasn't terrible.

Ok, I worked hard and eventually I wasn't terrible.

But I was thinking about tipping. Because, my memory of waitressing has totally skewed my method of tipping.

I mean, I'm ruined. Prejudice. Totally and Forever changed. I will always, always, always way over tip. Always.

And it doesn't matter if I've received terrible, awful, complain-about-constantly service, or great service. I will always tip good. Even better if I've received good service.

It doesn't matter if Zach and I are using the last of the change from the bottom of our loveseat couch to pay for dinner, we will always scrounge up enough extra pennies to make sure that waitress, good or bad, gets at least, at least 22%.

But do you know what I realized this is? I mean this no-matter-what-I-feel-sorry-you're-in-the-food-industry-and-I-feel-just-because-of-that-you-deserve-a-great-tip attitude? This is Socialism.

That's right, Socialism.

Everybody gets the same tip, no matter the service, because everybody deserves something, just because they are working.

No, I'm sorry. I have been caught Socializing. Um, Socialismizing. Umm.... Social.... Social... You get the idea.

And here, this whole time I thought I was a Capatalist.

I mean, I am a Capatalist.

I just get caught up in the experience. You know, I'm all like, man it must suck serving other people, it must suck so bad that you are in a terrible mood and have forgotten my order like three times, and can't remember to refill my drink and have a not so awesome attitude, but since I understand what you are goin through, I'm going to give you a ten dollar tip on this fifteen dollar bill and hope all of your troubles go away.

No, it shouldn't be like that. I'm not going to reward bad behavior anymore.

It's my childs job to obey me, but if she chooses not to, I'm not going to reward her with candy anyways, just because her sister who was behaving well got a piece.

Do you see my point?

Lol. No? Why not?

I'll try to make more sense.

The other night, Zach and I had this waitress who was a total piece of work. She was rude, snotty, never refilled our drinks and all around a bad waitress. But her performance did not affect our tip to her. Even though we complained that we shouldn't tip as much and that she didn't deserve that great of a tip, we still tipped well. More than well.

In fact, I even announced to the table that I wasn't going to tip well and I got dirty looks and gasps of judgement all around. (Ok, it wasn't that bad.) And in the end, my regular do-gooder tip wasn't affected. (PS. I don't really know the difference between Effect and Affect, so if I'm using them wrong, you're going to have to leave a comment and explain the difference more clearly.)

I don't know if it was the peer pressure or that darned moral compass of mine OR the ingrained socialism this country is spitting in my face. But whatever the reason it worked.

And that's when I got to thinking that when you are in a service industry job, why does the general population still reward you for doing a poor job? If you had a painter, paint your house, and they did a terrible job, you wouldn't still pay them and give them a bonus. You would stand up for your house, make them paint it again or hire someone else and absolutely never, ever give them a bonus. Am I right?

Why do we let food service slip by so lackadaisically?

A bad waitress should be treated as a bad waitress because then, she will either learn to be a good waitress because of necessity or find another job.

Some people are frankly not cut out for serving. Ok. Some people are also not cut out for manual labor, desk jobs, jobs including children or any political office.

Dang it. I am not cut out for any of those.

Seriously, I'm not saying be a douchebag because you have the right. I totally understand there are plenty of those out there. But at the same time, why does every bad waitress get the same preferential treatment just because they can carry a hot plate from the kitchen to my table without spilling it? (Yes, I can say that because I used to waitress. Remember?)

And I am definitely saying don't tip with a tract because if you really want to piss somebody off, that's the way to do it. And I'm a Christian.

And I am for sure not saying don't tip. Of course tip, the socially precedented 15% even for bad service.

What I am saying is that the idea all servers deserve a generous tip just because they're servers is Socialism and I for one am sick of it.

If it was this easy to fall into the socializing of restaurants, who's afraid of medicine?

:) Just Kidding!