Universal Blog Care

I'm not going to make this political. I'm not going to make this political. I'm not going to make this political. I'm not going to make this political.

I've been reciting that mantra since last night at oh, about 11:30 PM when I discovered the outcome of the vote and decided that I would leave my expert opinions off of the blog. But, as a person who generally thinks I am the best and final resource on every political/religious subject there is, it's not an easy thing for me to do. So. I will keep repeating those important little words over and over and hopefully keep the other half of my friends who aren't staunch, pro-life, conservative republicans.

I love all people. And I respect our government offices.

I do.

I really, really do.

Ok. I'm done. I'm going to get myself into trouble.

So, last night, was another awesome night without sleep. Zach and I about went crazy. There was a point where we just started laughing because it was like, "Really? Are you serious?"

You have to remember, I have been a nanny since I was 16. Pretty much, the only jobs I've ever held have been with childcare. I should also mention that I have not once, not one single time, looked for a childcare job. They find me. Trust me, there was a time in my life that I really, really, really tried to get out of the biz, but it keeps on coming back to find me. Ok, and actually there were several times I've tried to get out.

Now? I am resigned. This is my fate. But I'm ok with it. And I actually value the importance of the job and feel as though I am not only making a difference in other kids' lives, I get to raise my own at home. Now, I can see it for what it really is: A Blessing.

Ok, enough with the after school special!

The point was. I've seen it all. I've been through it all. I've dealt with it all. I probably should have gone to therapy after it all, but that's a different topic for a different day.

One thing I learned, I mean probably the most important lesson I learned before I even had children was to no matter what, figure out how to get your kids to go to bed easily and keep them in bed. By that I mean, no hour or longer night time rituals, no rocking them to sleep until they are five, no getting up with them every single time they make a noise in the middle of the night, do not let them come to bed with you and for sure, for sure teach them how to put themselves back to sleep from the start.

Yes, those were my rules. Especially with Stella. The poor firstborn, she got all of my learned wisdom from years of dealing with other people's children.

Scarlett? Totally different story.

Is it because she is a second born? I'm more tired with her than I was with Stella? I'm more relaxed with her because I've gone through this once before? I can cherish her moments as an infant because I know now how quickly they grow up?

Sure it's all of that.

But also, that child is a hot tempered red head that doesn't value my sleep at all.

I feel like she hit puberty straight on as soon as she turned one and is never going to forgive me for the simple fact that I'm her mom.

She was waking up every night at exactly 3:45. That changed two nights ago.

She woke up at like... 11:30.

I was still awake but determined. I mean. D-termined. To let her cry herself back to sleep.

You see, that is my philosophy. She's not sick. She doesn't have ear infections. It might be teeth, but when it is the same time every night that is simply a habit that she has to learn how to break. She is warm and fed and has a clean diaper. She has to learn to cry herself back to sleep. Those are my rules. That is how I operate.

So even if I am laying awake in bed, praying and hoping and begging that she goes back to sleep I will not get her.

That doesn't mean other people won't. Like her father. Who let's his little girls have whatever they want, whenever they want.

But, hey, he's their dad so I let it slide. I was a daddy's girl, and that is exactly what I want for my little ones, especially since I no longer have a daddy.

Anyways, he has always gone to get her in the middle of the night because he claims, "He can't stand it anymore."

But at 11:30, we're awake, our resolve is strong, we are going to teach her a lesson.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

After crying for an hour, we gave up and got her. But then. Then, she slept the rest of the night through. So maybe it was worth it?

Maybe not.

Last night, she wakes up a little earlier... like 10:30, 10:45. I give in right away, because I'm like, if I'm still awake and I have the chance of sleeping all the way through the night, I'm going to take it. I would be stupid not to right?

So, Zach goes to get her. She's already half asleep by the time he hands her to me and I quickly get her back to sleep.

We go to bed.

30 minutes later. She's up again.

Nope. Nope. Nope. I'm not going to get her. She has got to learn. She can't just scream her way into our bed every night. Temper or no temper the child has got to figure it out. Right? I mean, I'm not being a bad parent. She is 1 now. I would like to give up nursing completely, and she's making it kind of difficult and by that I mean: impossible.

Plus, do I even need to mention the fact that now she is interrupting my sleep? When that happens I tend to get angry. I mean, crabby, grumpy, irritable, righteously pissed off you could say.

I look at Zach, through the darkness(Well, it wasn't completely dark, Breakfast Club was lullaby-ing us to sleep in the background.), but anyways, I look at him, and I say in my most serious voice, "We are not getting her. She has got to learn."

He agrees. He's tired. It's going on 12 pm. He has to actually be at work now by 8, I mean that's early. Come on. :) I can make fun of him, since I had to get up all winter long and he got to sleep in..... Usually it's the other way around.

So, we both roll over and close our eyes. Scarlett continues to scream. And scream. And scream. And scream. 1:15 comes around, Zach is mumbling about needing to be asleep by now. I am fuming. What is she trying to prove here? I'm glad that you are stubborn and determined and head strong-those attributes will come in very handy one day when you are an adult and want to be successful. I'm glad you are you're own woman, that you know what you want and that you are not going to stop until you get it-those attributes will come in very handy one day. When you are an adult. And when you want to be successful.

Right now? Right now, it is one o'clock in the frickin' morning and everyone in this house except you has to work in the morning!

But I am determined. She can cry herself hoarse, but she will cry herself to sleep, darn it. (See how PG that was?)

Pretty soon though, my entire plan crumbles. We hear the girl's bedroom door open, then close, then little footsteps shuffle across the tile into our room where our door closes again, more tiny little shuffling feet until Stella makes her way up onto our bed and into my arms, she covers her ears with her hands and says in the cutest, sweetest little voice,

"Scarlett woke me up. Scarlett is screaming. Scarlett is being naughty."

Zach and I lost it. 1:30 in the morning and we are dying laughing.

She nailed it exactly on the head. Don't think you have to be an adult to understand the essence of parenting.

But it was then we realized there was no stopping this child from screaming all the way through the night and waking up every single person in a 100 mile radius. She was never going to give up. Her resolve to cry was/is stronger than our resolve to let her. She doesn't care if she sleeps. She's a baby. She can sleep all day if she wants to. We have to work in the morning, be responsible for things, drive for goodness sakes.

So, Zach being much better at getting out of the warm covers and into the freezing cold night than I am, dutifully took Stella back to bed and brought me Scarlett.

Then, of course, he had to take Stella to the potty, and then back to bed again, and then back to bed again after that and then I think there was one more time of steering her back to her bed and convincing her to sleep in her own room, but eventually he got to come back to his own bed and go to sleep.


I had to deal with Scarlett. The enemy of a good night's sleep.

An hour later, I could finally put her down, in her own crib, away from me and away from my bed. Just as I lay her down, she looks up at me and smiles the biggest grin, from one ear to the other.

My heart should have melted, I should have been filled with compassion and happiness.

I should have.

I'm not going to tell you the emotions that went through my head when I saw how mischievous she truly was.

That was in now way a thankful, loving smile. That was a ha-ha-ha-ha-mom-I-won-and-you-lose-I-got-what-I-wanted-and-you-have-to-pay-for-it-na-na-na-na-boo-boo.

Goodness gracious, I am terrified for the teenage years. She does not give in or give up a fight.

But I can't even think that far ahead. I still have tonight to worry about, and the next night and the night after that.

One day, probably this Friday if things don't change quickly, I'm going to have to kick every one out of the house. Send Stella to her Granny's for the night, get Zach to stay with a friend or go camping, Send my mom else where and Scarlett and I are going to duke it out.

Listen, I was that stubborn child. I have resolve like nobodies business. She can't outlast me. Oh no. Bring on the ferberizing because this is wayyyy too late in the game to be up all night.

One last thing.

Goodbye Capitalism. Hello Communism.

Ok, I'm done. I swear. Well, ok. At least for now.


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  1. rach... have you beend ying to use that blog title?

    ps... the house across the street from us was for sale, (nicer and newer and bigger than ours) and i thought of you guys... but it just sold. boo... unless you are the ones who bought it?! no? ok.

  2. Hahaha. I have been dying to rant and rave about it. But I've stopped myself so far! And nope, we're not the ones who bought it. Although I really wish we were. I need sunlight in my life! We need to hang out. Asap.