Black Eyed Blogs

Do you ever have absolutely no idea, no comprehension, no clue what your children are talking about?

Ok, it doesn't even have to be your child, it could be a child your babysitting, a friend's child, heck, a child you meet on the street.

They come up to you, start rambling on and on and you just nod and smile or walk away.

Ha. Walking away is a luxury. Because let me tell you, when they're you're own kids you don't get to walk away.

S and S are in the tub right now. We call it a "Tubby," thanks to years of nannying that probably should have been years of therapy. But anyways, Stella is demanding a yellow washcloth(She actually calls it something else, but it's a bit X-rated, so I'm not going to share it with you. It's actually one of those curse words I don't use...), the problem is I have no idea what she is talking about. And she is mad. Like, really upset that I can't find this yellow washcloth.

Now she is yelling directions that it is in some room called the Fedeeya Room? Or the Fideria Room? See, if anyone can decipher this for me, that would be fantastic.

Some battles are worth proving a point. Some are worth teaching a lesson. Some are worth ignoring, in my opinion. And some, some are just important enough to your three year old daughter that she will utterly disappointed if you don't follow through.

If only, I could understand her.

And the thing is, most of the time she is SUPER easy to understand. She has excellent diction. Ok, at least to me, her mother she does. But I think that's how every child is to their mother. We all can understand our children perfectly and then an outsider is introduced and they can't understand a word of the language your child speaks and you're like, seriously? She is saying exactly what she wants so clear.

It's obviously the outsider's fault. Not your child's. It never is.

Ok, I'm not one of those parents.

At least not yet. I've only been doing this for three years....


And really, when you can understand your children they really do say the darnedest things.

Last night my sleep was interrupted again. No, not by Scarlett. Thank Goodness! She has somehow mastered, ok at least figured out how to make it through the night these last couple of nights. Consequently my rash has finally begin to dissipate... Maybe they were related... Like I'm allergic to not getting a full night's sleep.

I would not put it past me. I LOVE my sleep.

Well, there was a brief hiatus while I finished the business in the tub and I learned that Frideator translated to Refridgerator, translated to Freezer and Washcloth(Spoken with the word I can't say) translated to waffle and yellow described the color of the frozen waffle in the freezer. Whew. That was a lot of work folks.

But this is what I'm saying. It's all about your kids and what they can say.

Like last night. Zach and I had a sitter because we were going out to celebrate one of his really good friends, AJ's, birthdays. So we got the sitter and she actually had to put them to bed. A lot of times when we go out, we just wait until the kids are asleep and do all the hard work before the sitter gets there.

Anyways, so we give her instructions, but have you ever put two little girls to bed? It's not easy. Stella didn't get in her pull-up. She probably convinced the babysitter she didn't' need one. Well, lo and behold, 2:30 AM rolls around and she is suddenly in our room, crying and whining about her accident. I don't even know why she had one, she hasn't had a wet pull-up in days. This is totally grossing you out by now, so I'll keep moving.

So, in my half stupor, I make her go get the necessities in order to take care of the issue. Eventually though, I get out of my warm, comfortable bed and we clean her up and start to re-dress her in the pajamas she has picked out in the middle of the night.

Well, first she demanded her Bumbly Bug pants(Code for Bumble Bee Pajamas) and her Nebraska Sweatshirt. So, we've got the new pull-up on(Thankfully this time, I just grabbed one, and she wasn't making a big deal about exactly which Dora The Explorer Image was on the thing.). (Oh, the real Dora The Explorer, not the little girl I babysit. That would be weird.). We get the pants on. We start to put the sweatshirt on, when she changes her mind.

She says to me, "Maybe, maybe I should wear the red sweatshirt."

Now, keep in mind that the Bumbly Bug Pants are Red. And the "red" sweatshirt, is a Wisconsin Badgers Sweatshirt that is also Red. The child is color coordinating in the middle of the night.

And she doesn't just say Maybe, as in maybe it's a good idea. She says it in this perfect imitation of her parents that says, "I'm not ready to commit to the idea of making a decision, but red matches better and so it is going to be the red one, no matter what, mom did you hear me, it's going to be the red one."

So we get back up, go find the red one and put it on.

And then she says, "There that's better mom. Maybe it was a good idea to get the red one."

All I can do is laugh and agree.

I mean, she does match now. And it is very important to match while you're sleeping. Especially in the middle of the night.

I've had today and yesterday off. And let me tell you. It has been wonderful. Sometimes it is just SO nice to sit back and appreciate your own kids, instead of getting them mixed up with all of the other ones that come in and out of this household.

Yesterday, we were out and about. Today, I have a To Do List a mile long. I don't know how I'll get it all accomplished! Oh boy. And the majority of it is phone calls. I dread phone calls. Hate them. Despise them. Loooooathe them.

Get the picture?

But, I suppose, I'll have to cowboy-up and stop being such a pansy. Be prepared World for a whole bunch of awkward, and socially inept phone calls because I am about to use up all of those accumulated roll-over minutes!


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