Happy Valentine's Day!

This is one of those holidays that totally defines your sense of self. You either view the day as a Day For Lovers. Or a Day For Losers.

It's not like Thanksgiving or Christmas where you are celebrating something outside of yourself.

And it's not like Halloween or St. Patrick's Day when women dress up for themselves, for a renewed existential burst of confidence and in a general spirit of celebratory skankiness.

No. Valentine's Day in definition, or at least by definition of our culture is for Couples. Attire, Aesthetics and Activities are invented, inclusivized and intended for Couples Only.

And why?


I realize that I am speaking from a Couple's Perspective, but putting all biases aside, why can't Valentine's Day simply be about an extra effort to express love in all of it's forms?

In fact, in lots of cases Love between Couples on Valentine's acts more like the Enemy of Love then a stimulant or help mate.

All of those couples not clearly defined, newly begun or young love probably wish to just be left alone. But no. Valentine's Day looms over their undefined relationship like a storm cloud over the Mayflower. Suddenly these fresh faced, honey-mooners are forced to sink or swim.

A relationship on a perfectly slow path to hopeful bliss is suddenly sent on a crash course by the very whisper of the Word Valentine's Day.

Or on the other hand, a relationship intended for destruction, whether or not the couple sees it or not, is sent spiraling into several more months of misery all because of the sweet, thoughtful and peer pressured actions of a man or women who should be getting the heck out of Dodge instead of spending soon-to-be-wasted dollars on a half enjoyed evening.

What about marriage? The same high expectations and standards apply to us inside one year or inside fifty years! And what if one year the man forgets? Or the woman is busy? The entire day, possibly week depending on the woman or man, is ruined. And why?

All because Hallmark tells us to love each other every 14Th of February?

So this Valentine's Day. I say throw off the chains of Corporate America and Their idea of love and happiness and define your own!

Sure love your lover, but love more than that. Love your parents and your siblings. Love your children. Love your friends and your neighbors. Show love to all that deserve your love. But most of all love yourself!

And let yourself be loved.

Maybe I'm totally crazy and off base here. Maybe everybody knows these truths except me. But it just seems that I need to be reminded of this and so maybe you do too.

Valentine's Day, like all other holidays, or regular days for that matter, is not about gifts and giving or receiving things, but about giving and receiving the love that we are innately born to share.

So enjoy this day and hold no other expectations for yourself except to know that you are loved.