Blog's Bistro

Oh, it is late. Like really late for me to be writing this.

I've been meaning to get to it all day, and I wish I could say that I was busy... But I wasn't.

Well, there was dance this morning.

And then there were the errands. Like three hours of errands. Ugh. Errands are exhausting! I don't even know how they lasted that long, I didn't really have that many.

The Bank.
Car Wash. This was an absolute necessity. The van looked like I had been off-roading in the tar pits. It was not a pretty sight. But don't worry, it was taken care of. Now if only I could get the inside clean! Ha.

So, with that list, plus add on the fact we dropped an envelope of Valentine's off, it took a while.

The stores are always insane on Saturday. And I always intend to avoid them. But come Saturday afternoon, there is always something that drags me inside their ominous doors.

Bakers was bad. Not to mention there is only room for one kid in the cart and I have two. So Stella has to walk. And even if she minds, she still walks at a snails pace, examining every thing at her eye level and picking every small piece of litter up off of the floor to throw away! But I was the real problem! I kept forgetting everything. I was basically walking in circles for an hour, not getting anything accomplished.

But Costco was the worst. The absolute worst.

Have you been there on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon? It is the worst example of human behavior. Seriously. It's like once inside those large, automatic-sliding, glass doors, after you've flashed your precious little membership card(The first of the three times you'll have to show it. Yep, it's a Police State in there.) you cease to be human and turn into something resembling Cattle and Costco becomes a Cattle Drive.


People push and shove and cut you off. They don't think twice about rudeness, cruelty or even violence!

Oh, by the way, in this example, the Sample Stations are the Cattle Driver Cowboys, because if you haven't seen how people flock to those sample stations in an effort to stuff their faces with free food then you haven't seen exactly what mankind is capable of!

And I'll admit it. I love a good sample as much as anybody else. But not at the cost of my dignity, my pride or my life!

And Stella LOVES samples. Like, loves, loves them. She will eat anything, fruit, vegetable, protein, dessert, it doesn't matter! As long as it comes in those white, paper cups or on a toothpick, Stella will take it.

Literally, sometimes it's an entire meal for her! And I don't even mind, because A. It's free and B. She gets all of her food groups. Plus she's trying new foods.

Ok, but people don't care if you're waiting in line for a Red Velvet Cupcake, sitting on a scoop of Ice Cream for the cutest almost three year old in the entire world, with an equally cute but not nearly as happy, in fact screaming almost one year old in the cart next to her! In fact, people don't care at all.

The sample lady was taking FOREVER and finally as soon as she said go, people swarmed to those precious little freebies, like it was their last meal. And I was in line! In line. But when push came to shove, and it did, it totally didn't matter! People were cutting me, nudging my cart out of the way, and all in all acting very unbecoming. The worst were the single(I don't know if they were single opposed to married, but they were by themselves without a cart), middle-aged women. I was like what? Oh no you didn't! Oh and this one older man who actually worked there! And it wasn't just at that one station, no this guy had been boxing me out all morning.

I just walked away, mumbling something snotty underneath my breath, while Stella asked in her sweetest voice, "Mommy, where's my cupcake?"

Poor thing. She doesn't understand the depth of evil man is capable of. Thanks a lot Adam and Eve.

Just kidding.

So, at this point I am finished with Samples, promising Stella whatever she wants just to get her out of the store, a pony, a new car, anything, and huffing and puffing my way all the way to the check out.

At which point, I am realizing how deep my hate for Costco Saturday Afternoons runs. The freaking check out lanes are like 50 deep and by this time Scarlett is done. Like done. Screaming at the top of her lungs, tears flowing down her cheeks and fists pounding against her car seat. But does anybody take pity on the poor single mom with two children past their limit and literally three items in her cart?

Oh. No.

In fact if anything, I am ostracized because of it. I not only got the Stink Eye, but the Evil Eye, the Crook Eye and the Eye of Sauron to top it off!

Needless to say, when we got home this afternoon, all of us girls took a good three hour nap! It was exhausting. And that is why it is 10:00 PM before I am finishing this blog. I had a lot to do this afternoon. Laundry. Clean the House. Write this Blog. But no. Thanks to Bakers. Thanks to Costco. And in general, thanks to all those crazies flooding the supermarkets every weekend afternoons the only thing I had energy for this afternoon was a nice, long nap.

Ok, Maybe I can't blame it all on the Fresh Produce and Buying in Bulk, but I can at least be generally disappointed with the behavior I saw this afternoon.

Do not mess with my free Red Velvet Cupcakes again.

Here's another thought. Have you ever tried to pop those small bags of microwavable popcorn? I can't do it. I burn it every, single time.

One more thought. I love the Olympics. Love it. I am so patriotic it's kind of embarrassing. I like cry at the Star Spangled Banner and whenever an American wins a medal. I know, it's out of control, but it is what it is! Anyways I love Apolo Anton Ohno, he's like the Michael Phelps of the Winter Olympics, only not a pot head. But he just won second place on the short track and that race was crazy!

Last thought of the night.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, but Zach has really made this a Valentine's Weekend for me. He has just been SO sweet. And it kind of came out of no where, because I distinctly remember the last four Valentine's Days being referred to as an Evil Plot, A Money Making Scheme, conceived by Corporate America and Hallmark to steal our money and force us to show affection on a day of Their choosing, rather then letting it flow naturally between a couple. You get the gist.

But this weekend he not only took me shopping for a new dress, to dinner(Mark's Bistro and it was AMAZING), and to a movie(Valentine's Day. Which by the way, I picked, and then regretted it for the next two hours. Boring. Not Funny. And Julia Roberts is only in it for 6 minutes. Boo. I get like one chick flick a year with him at the theater and I wasted it. So my advice to you, is wait to rent it.). Plus he bought me an Ipod for the gym!

I thought that was pretty, pretty, pretty(Imagine Larry David) good. But this morning he did the dishes and tonight he made dinner! Korean Short Ribs(Which, words cannot express how amazing they were. He is like this meat mastermind of genius!), Asian Cole Slaw and Mashed Potato's. What? I mean, that's HUGE.

Do you want to know what my gift for him was after he handed me my Ipod?

A Cell Phone Kiosk that he had asked for, for Christmas and then forgot about because they had run out by the time I went to buy one. Well, turns out I found one, and it was on sale. Yep, my return gift for all of the sweetness he gave me..... A clearanced $10 Box.

I'm the best wife ever!

Ok, I did make it up to him today though, with a 16 year old Glenlivet, Nadurra Scotch. So.... I'm just saying.


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